Sunday, December 7, 2008

Oral Boards, Meals and Movies

Nature's cruel joke... This is the snow we woke up to on Thursday morning.


And then we had SNOW! Honest to goodness snow fell Thursday night and we had 7.5" by sundown Friday. I got a couple of pictures of that too but this one was the only one that wasn't fuzzy. It's so dark but it was only 4:30 in the afternoon.


A while back, I applied for a volunteer position that requires quite a lengthy process to become 'hire-able'. I applied in October, passed the integrity interview in November, and have oral boards this week. I'm a little nervous because I have no idea what to expect. I would really like to do this work for the agency but I have to remember that I have no training and no direct education in the field, so if they turn me down, it is not the end of the world.

We have company coming on Saturday; family from Denver coming to drop off Christmas presents for the kids and spend some time with us. We haven't seen them for over a year, so I am really looking forward to it.

In preparation, I tried to give myself several options for lunch/dinner. Our meals for the week look something like this.

  • Chicken enchiladas
  • Taco casserole
  • Spaghetti with 'pink' sauce
  • Bacon and swiss quiche
  • Orange chicken (didn't have this last week)
  • Chicken Cordon Bleu Casserole
  • Chicken fried steak
  • Hamburgers
  • Frozen Pizza

I need to do some prep for this weeks meals tomorrow while I clean the house. I already browned ground beef for the spaghetti and I need to cook and shred chicken. I suppose I could also make the quiches and freeze them if I was feeling inclined.

We watched some movies this past week and I have a movie recommendation. We watched August Rush and it is a great movie. There were parts of it when my heart nearly melted, although I managed to keep dry eyes throughout the whole thing. It is family friendly and the music is beautiful.

We also watched Iron Man last week. I really liked it. When it came in from Netflix, I didn't want to see it. I was in and out of the living room while the hubby was watching it and got hooked.

The Family Man, Journey to the Center of the Earth, Wanted, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and Stargate Continuum are all good movies. Some better than others, but this is some of what we've watched over the past couple of weeks. I recorded The Librarian: Curse of the Judas Chalice because I couldn't sit down to watch it - the commercial breaks were excruciating. I've also watched a ton of Christmas video's like Scrooged, Christmas Vacation, It's a Wonderful Life and A Christmas Story.

Ahhhh, the joys of procrastination....

Mother In Law From Hell

My mother-in-law is a piece of work. Oh, yeah. I forgot to say that I have two of them. The one that's giving me fits right now...? We'll call her MIL-1. The one I've mentioned previously will now be MIL-2.

MIL-1 has been out of the picture for several years. We have seen her only four times since Lindsay was born and I was okay with that. The last time we saw her, or spoke to her, was a year and a half ago when I arranged for her to get a ride from Denver to Fort Collins to see Rob graduate. After all, every mother wants to see her son graduate from college, right? Of course she did.

We keep in touch with MIL-1's family and keep tabs on her well-being as best we can, but the family had lost contact with her and no one knew where she was staying or working, no one had a cell phone number for her. The only information we had came from a chance meeting with one of MIL-1's friends who said that she was fine and living with friends.

On Thanksgiving, Jake got a text message from a Denver number saying, "Happy Thanksgiving, Love Mom." He didn't know what to make of it so he gave me his phone, asking who it might be. I said it was probably a wrong number and sent a text message back saying as much. The reply was, "This isn't Rob's phone?" Oh, crap. I called the number and had a one minute conversation with her, enough to find out she was working and living with a friend. She said she'd call me back but I haven't heard anything since, even after several calls and messages.

Today I sent a text message asking her to let us know how she was doing. She responded saying she was fine. I wasn't looking for the easy answer, I want to know her circumstances and sent another text saying as much. Nothing. I called right after that. Nothing.

I've been cursed with two mother-in-laws, neither of them are worth much. Some people might say that I'm blessed. If that's you, you are welcome to them. I'll let both MIL's know they've been traded as soon as you let me know your address so I can send them to you.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Holiday Week

I worked Tuesday and Wednesday this last week. On Tuesday afternoon, I realized that there were only three full work weeks left in the year. "Oh, you are kidding me?" I actually said that aloud. Nope, I checked the calendar again and it's true - THREE WEEKS!

I have to get ready for January, for sending the books at work to the accountant, I have to get IFTA done... and about a hundred other things too! One Hundred!? I looked at my notes and to-do lists in OneNote from last January and February and realized that 100 things really isn't a stretch - there are 88 things on my January/February to-do list. I told my boss about the few weeks left until zero hour and told him I was getting ready. I got a thumbs up.

????????

Really?

On Wednesday, I began wrapping up financial stuff for the month of November and left the office at one. Then I blew off the rest of my day talking on the phone and watching movies. I should have been doing homework. I didn't.

Thanksgiving Day came and I made mashed candied sweet potatoes that were so good, even I ate them - and I hate sweet potatoes. I also made cranberry sauce from scratch that gelled in the refrigerator overnight - I like it runny, so lesson learned: add more water! There were also creamed peas and green bean casserole. Nothing I took to Thanksgiving dinner at my grandmothers house was low fat or 'healthy'.

Much to my mothers delight, I refrained from speaking to my aunt who is a racist and a bigot.

After dinner at my grandmothers, we stopped off at Rob's grandparents house. We talked, they played cards (I don't play) and everyone (but me) had pie. I was just too stuffed and didn't want to risk real pain.

We got home around eight and started to relax.....

And then it happened.

The shit always hits the fan on holidays. No pun intended. There were no feces involved, thank heavens.

The toilet got clogged and we couldn't clear it. The stupid thing has had something stuck in it for over two years; something we could never get out and we couldn't identify.  Rob decided to take the toilet out and put the snake in from the bottom to try and clear it but couldn't get the toilet off Thursday night so we left it until Friday morning.

So Black Friday came and we found ourselves at Lowes buying a new toilet. It's cheap. It's white. It's clean. It's new. I love it. Except that we had to replace the shut off valve and it's leaking. Our house is a never ending nightmare and I can't wait to get out of here and rent something. I don't want the responsibility anymore. At least not for a little while. When we buy again, maybe we won't get stuck with a money pit.

And the toilet? It was blocked by this. Well, not the whole box, just one of the trays they go in. I guess it fell in the toilet, sank and got flushed. And YES, I broke the toilet to find out what was in it.

So now I'm down $98 and I have a beautiful new (CLEAN) white toilet in the master bath.

Today I had the Meeting of the Moms. We were at Starbucks for four hours planning and enjoying each others company. We are looking for a place that will allow us to bring in the soda and maybe some snack food to supplement whatever catered food we have. All of the catering companies around here bring in cans of soda rather than 2-litre bottles and charge $1-$2 each. Well, with a guest list of around 175, that could add up pretty quickly - especially with the kids.

Tonight Jake called me and asked if the GF could come to Christmas at his grandmothers house with us. I told him I didn't mind and I'm sure Grandma wouldn't. He said it was okay with the GF's mom as long as he could go to Christmas Eve dinner with her family. None of this is a problem for us so it looks like the kids are sharing holidays already. They are also planning to go to the same college, along with several of their best friends. They've all been accepted so now it's just a matter of graduating and figuring out how to pay for all of it. Yeah, not looking forward to that, but we'll do what we have to.

Meal Plan for the coming week.
  • Thai Spaghetti with shrimp
  • Beef Stew
  • Pork Loin Roast with mashed sweet potatoes and sauteed spinach
  • Pork Chops
  • Orange Chicken with rice
  • Chicken Piccata
  • Turkey with mashed potatoes
I don't like pork but my family does so I'll try it.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Meeting of the Moms

Jake graduates this year, and with graduation comes the mother of all graduation parties - seeing how he's friends with half the school, it pays to host a party with others.

So, in preparation for the mother of all graduation parties, four of us moms have decided to throw the party together, assuring we can not only afford the mother of all graduation parties but that the four kids involved* will have the party to attend this year and they won't be stuck at their own while their best friends are somewhere else.

I guess being 18 these days is a big deal. And of course, I want him to have what I didn't - walking in commencement exercises (I graduated, I just didn't walk), a graduation party, someone to push me when it came to going to college... The list is really endless.

Anyway, the Moms will be getting together on Saturday to discuss preliminary plans for a graduation party: what our kids want, what we can afford, where to hold it, discussing catering options, decorations, etc. We're just getting an idea of what everyone thinks at this point. I look forward to sitting and having coffee with these three amazing women.

I guess I'll be thinking about this a lot over then next six months and chronicling the event as it unfolds. Hopefully, it will be good practice for Matt's graduation.

*The four friends are Jake, the GF, Jake's best friend of seven years, and the best friends girlfriend.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Meals and Food

I love me the meal plan. I do it every week now. I'm kid of bummed that I didn't post them here because it would have been nice to track. I've kind of expanded the way I do it though; I come up with the number of required meals but don't normally assign meals to days. I also have a list of main dishes that I can easily look over and pick from - that doesn't keep me from pouring over cookbooks though. I still love to do that. As a matter of fact, we're having a couple of new pasta recipes this week thanks to The Dinner Doctor. I know lots of people are fanatical about making everything from scratch but I'm not. If a can of cream of mushroom produces edible results and I don't have the time to make a creamy white sauce then canned soup it is.

This week looks like this:
  • Penne with ham and sugar snap peas with salad. Supposed to be rotini and prosciutto but I like penne better and have you seen the price of prosciutto?
  • Mac N Cheese casserole - soooo easy. Blue box, cream of mushroom, tuna and peas.
  • Burritos/Tacos with rice and refried beans.
  • Smoked salmon penne with capers and lemon. I probably spent the most on this dish but did find the salmon on sale. This is supposed to have ziti but - well, I like penne better.
  • Taco soup - already have leftovers for after school snacks, lunch or soup and sandwich night next week.
  • Spaghetti and meatballs.

...and then there's my contribution to Thanksgiving dinner at my grandmothers house:
  • Sweet potato casserole - probably mashed but lumpy with butter, brown sugar and marshmallows.
  • Creamed peas with onion.
  • Green bean casserole.
  • Runny cranberries (a thin cranberry sauce) - if I can get the recipe from someone besides my MIL. Otherwise I'll make it up.

The cool thing the past month or so is that I've ended up with enough leftovers from one week to feed us for part of the next. It helps that Jake goes out for dinner with the GF or Matt goes to a friend's house.

The In-Law family is already planning The Night Before Christmas party they throw every year. It is a time for the whole family to get together, NOT on Christmas, eating and enjoying every one's company as well as exchanging gifts through a reading of The Night Before Christmas, hence the name of the party. So here's how it works. Everyone brings an inexpensive gift suitable for male or female (kids pass among themselves) and everyone settles in a circle. One of the girls (just because my boys aren't interested and the younger boy is 4) reads the story. Every time the word 'and' is said, the gifts are passed. Whatever you end up with at the end of the story is yours. It's fun. This year the party is on December 20 and I've been asked to bring two batches of chili. I'm looking forward to it but may be hung over. My company party is on December 19 and I always drink plenty that night.

It's all about me now...

I haven’t felt like writing – for a lot of different reasons, none of which are really relevant right now. In order to feel like writing again I had to think a lot about why I wrote, who I was writing for, and what I was writing. After all that thinking (wow, did I just smell burning batteries?) I decided that I was going to go back to just writing for me.

In a way, my blog didn’t even start out that way. I was always writing with someone else in mind – what would they think of me? The truth is - I don’t care. There has been so much going on in the past couple of months I haven’t written about that it makes me sad. Like the letter I got in the mail from some deranged republican who anonymously begged me not to vote for Obama. Or the phone call/confrontation with my Aunt Wanda regarding that letter where she denied sending it. Then I asked her, would she please leave me alone about my political beliefs – after all, I didn’t slam her email account with democrat propaganda… That little discussion still has fruit to bear since I’ll see her for the first time since then on Thanksgiving. Oh, the things I am thankful for this year!

And the holidays coming up. Ugh, the stress that’s creating this year. Seriously? My FIL wasn’t going to the cabin this year for Christmas because he was going to be on-call over the holiday – then he went and screwed it up (just joking) and traded Christmas for Thanksgiving. I’d already started making plans with my mom to go to her house on Christmas Day with my brother and two nieces. I haven’t seen them outside of a major family function in years and this is the first Christmas since my brother and his wife divorced. I just thought the whole thing would be nice. Anyway, we’ve got decisions to make. Rob, Matt and Lindsay all want to go to the mountains, Jake knows he may have to work Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas so he’s okay staying home – besides, the GF's family has invited us for Christmas dinner. I don’t want to go to the cabin because I’d already started making plans with my mom – oh, yeah… and I hate my mother-in-law…

Long story, that one. I got a call from her in September asking if I was going to send her some money. I owe her $600, all that's left of a rather large sum of money we owed her for putting a new engine in our car a while back. I started working $100 into our budget and then it just didn’t happen. I didn’t know what to do since talking to her is like talking to a television announcer or game show contestant – they don’t hear you and keep talking. So I did what I always do when life is too much for me. I bury my head in the sand and ignore the situation. Kind of like what I've been doing for the past month about my blog. She called a month later and left another message, this time saying that she hadn’t made me beg for the money when we needed it, she didn’t understand why she had to beg to get it back. Oh, damn! I felt like crap and still didn’t have the money to pay her back but it did decide to take some action rather than ignore the situation. I wrote her a letter outlining why I didn’t have the money, some of our current struggles and apologized for making her beg. I sent her a good faith check for $5. The outcome? Don’t know. She hasn’t called me, hasn’t talked to any family about it, and hasn’t cashed the check I sent her. I thought about sending her a letter saying that I’d be happy to send her another five or ten dollars if she’d just cash the first check I sent her, but that’s passive aggressive and I don’t want to go there.

That’s all for now but I’m going to make an effort to write regularly. I love the idea of having an online journal.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

I Couldn't Agree More

There's a post up here that I couldn't agree with more.

You have the right to agree or disagree with me, you have the right to your own opinion, but none of us have the right to tell people how to live their lives or that their life choices are 'wrong and a lie and unnatural'.

Period.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Words of Support

I just read something that made me proud of myself. You should read it too; I hope it gives you the same feeling.

We Voted


And, so did my son! I'm so proud of him, wanting to be involved and making the decisions on his own.

Do your part - VOTE!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

People are Temporarily (I Hope) Evil

There is so much nastiness right now. I'm referring to the political bashing - against both candidates and supporters - that seems to have permeated everything. Even the comments on our local papers' website are down right disgusting.

We don't have to agree. Vote for whomever you'd like and express yourself that way rather than name calling and venom.

I can't wait for November 5th.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

A Poem

Matt wrote a poem for English and I found it on my computer. I thought it was great and asked if I could share it. There are a few references that you may not understand, but for him they are meaningful.
***
I am from
By Matt

I am from buffalo steak,
And Grandma’s sun tea.

I am from Friday night lights,
And a gridiron game.

I am from snowmobiling at Bundy,
And Christmas at the cabin.

I’m from September first sunrise,
And late November hunting.

I’m from eighth notes and treble clef,
And A# and BÇ·.

I am from the cool crisp air,
And a Rocky Mountain morning.

I am from my Mom and my Dad,
Who have helped me through my life.
***
Thanks for letting me share it Matt!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Poor Lindsay

Sadly, Lindsay can't play soccer. She isn't allowed to participate fully in her yoga classes either but she isn't in any pain and she should be healed pretty quickly.

She has a splint rather than a cast so it makes life easier, bathing and the like, as well as caring for the cuts she managed to get on her hand and arm. However, it doesn't provide enough support for the potential fall or contact that occurs during soccer - a supposedly non-contact sport. Yeah, right.

We took this picture on Saturday after team pictures. She looks thrilled, doesn't she?

We had parent teacher conferences today, a week late due to the stress of the arm breaking, doctors appointments and birthday party. I'm glad we rescheduled since we were there for an hour and 15 minutes. We had a good result; the teacher understood our concerns and we came to an agreement regarding the curriculum.

We impressed and excited the teacher by being concerned about our ability to help her with math at home. I guess most parents aren't as involved. I think that's sad.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Fall Beauty

I thought it was time for a change of scenery. (Or... Isn't the banner picture beautiful?)

I love Fall, all of the sights, smells and feelings involved. The smell of the leaves and the streets covered in them, beautiful! Soon we'll be able to smell woodsmoke in the evenings and there will be nothing more comforting. Funny, I really don't like winter but I welcome the season that ushers it in.

Senior Pictures

Senior pictures are expensive. That being said, we took Jake's senior pictures ourselves. It was two hours spent on a Saturday in a beautiful park. The best pictures we took were of him sitting on rocks in a little stream bed.

And there it is. Not bad for a novice.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

She BROKE HER ARM!

As if we didn't have enough craziness in our lives! Lindsay broke her arm at school today. It should be noted that she broke her other arm, at school, last year on October 18! The girl is one huge accident waiting to happen!

Now the good news. It's what's called a buckle fracture, which is incomplete and heals rather quickly. She will even be allowed to play soccer if she chooses considering that the fracture is stable and not prone to movement.

Has anybody else noticed that raising kids can be exhausting? Yeah, that was supposed to be sarcastic.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Lindsay's Math

Updated to include another YouTube Video! This one's fun and you will TOTALLY UNDERSTAND what they're teaching my daughter!

Let me clarify the problem with Lindsay's math curriculum. The problem does not lie in the actual math itself, but in the way the school, or district, is teaching it. They use something called Everyday Math, or Chicago Math, that provides students with an alternative way of adding and subtracting. It's confusing for parents and lots of students but they introduced it in order to give the kids who struggle with traditional methods new ways to figure simple math problems.

Sounds helpful for those who struggle in math, doesn't it? Sure it is, but not if your kid has had a firm grasp on traditional math since pre-school. Lindsay loves math, but she cannot figure out how to use the new methods.

I'll do my best to illustrate here, but this is a blog and I'm limited in what I can do. For example, 36+84 = ?

When you put 36 on top of 84, you and I add the 4 and 6... follow me? The answer is 10 so we put the 0 on the bottom under the 4 and the 1 on top of the 3. Then we add 1 + 3 + 8 = 12, we put 12 under the 8. The answer is 120. In Everyday Math, they put the 10 under the 4 and 11 under the 8 and SOMEHOW come up with the correct answer. I'm confused, I don't get it and Lindsay doesn't get it. Check the YouTube videos, they explain it much better!

I'm simply trying to get the school to STOP confusing my daughter and let her learn math that she will actually use in her checkbook when she's in her 20's. I've included a link to Everyday Math reviews that you should check out if your child's school is using this program. It was given a C- and has created serious problems for graduating high school seniors in the state of New York.

I found the greatest YouTube video describing just how confusing the program is - and it turns out that our school district is requiring both of these... Could you do multiplication this way? I doubt it.

I'm done with my rant now. Thanks for being patient.

Friday, October 10, 2008

We Live

It has been insanely busy around here since the beginning of school and I just haven't had the time to think about myself until this last week. We've got football, we've got soccer, I've been working more hours, the hubby's got classes, I started a class, and of course the kids are all in school and the homework is astounding.

Rob and I recently had a disagreement with Lindsay's school regarding their mathematics curriculum. We are seriously considering home schooling her in math, nothing else, just her math curriculum. We have parent/teacher conferences next week where we will discuss it, then schedule an appointment with her math teacher and do it all over. In the end, I think it's possible for us to get them to see the light - at least for Lindsay - but only time will tell. If anyone knows of a good home school math program for 4th grade, please comment.

I have finally gotten internet access - real honest to goodness NON-dial-up access - at work, along with a new computer and finally (just this week) a new chair. I like being at work again. YEA!

The boys turned 16 and 18 last month. Jake seems to feel the need to remind us of this on a regular basis. For their birthday we bought them one present... an X-Box 360. They fell in love with us all over again. Matt plays two football games a week - one Varsity (kick return) and one JV (whenever the coach puts him in). Jake is blessed with only the Varsity games (O-line, left tackle). They both are juggling school and sports rather well this year, makes a momma proud.

Jake went on a campus tour of Mesa State College here in Colorado and will go on a tour of the University of Wyoming next month. I think that's probably where he'll end up going. I've been sick with worry (it's what I do best) about him leaving home. I've also been working on getting comfortable with the idea. We've raised an exceptionally grounded young man with lots of ambition and drive. "He will be fine. He will succeed. He will thrive." That's my mantra.

A turns 10 next week. She's so excited to be turning 'two digits'. I've gotten away easy on the party aspect with her the last two years. We have her party at a park adjacent to her elementary school right after school lets out. I meet them at their classrooms, walk them to the park, give the kids an 'after school snack' (read: cheap and easy), let them play, feed them cupcakes, open presents, and then everybody goes home. That's the cheater-mom's party. I'm only responsible for these ten kids for an hour and a half and Lindsay loves it.

I started a class this week, Psychology of Personality. I have a passionate dislike of Freud. I'll leave it at that, but I'm really getting into Jung. The class has been condensed (even more so than a normal 5-week class)! We're only going from 6-8pm because, among other reasons, there are only four of us. I really love small classes. I've got an online class that starts in two and a half weeks but I'm just not worried. As a matter of fact, I'm much more confident in my ability to not only do well in school, but in the fact that I will actually be able to finish my Bachelors Degree. I've discovered I have just enough financial aid available to finish my degree... and then? Then I've decided to apply to the Masters of Counseling Psychology program at CSU. I have no idea whether or not I'll be accepted, but I have to try.

All in all, the last month has given me a run for my sanity. When football and soccer season end, I should finally be able to lean back and relax a little.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Busy, busy, busy...

This weekend has gone so fast. That's always how I feel when I work all day on Friday. When I got off work at 4, I met Rob and Lindsay at Matt's JV game that didn't end until about 5:30. Halfway through the game, Jake's girlfriend came to sit with us and we chatted the rest of the game. I really love that girl. The GF is an amazing girl, but I've probably already said that. Anyway, I waited at the school until 6 for Matt and we made a stop at Super Suppers before coming home. Jake spent the night at a friends house and everyone left at home (but me) was asleep by 7 so I sat and read blogs - big surprise.

Saturday, Matt went with his grandparents and Matt was spending the day with friends so I asked Lindsay if she wanted to (1) wander around town with her Dad and me or (2) stay home and watch movies all day (while the neighbor knew she was home, of course). She opted for staying home. No problem. The hubby and I went out for breakfast, stopped at both local libraries (I was looking for cookbooks, I found five I wanted to spend some time with) and then we went to the museum. Our museum is a tiny little local affair that pays tribute to the original Fort Collins and it's founders. We found ourselves there to peruse the archives. That makes us sound intellectual, right? Not. The hubby wanted to look at the yearbooks from old high schools that no longer exist and I was along for the ride. I do love the old pictures through, and they brought out a landowners map from 1925 that I became obsessed with. I also found some printouts from the little town just north of here that I grew up in. Apparently, they used to have a newspaper called the Wellington Sun. The day was so much fun.

After spending time, just the two of us, doing nothing important... we decided it was time to grocery shop. We stopped at Walmart, Sam's Club and Safeway before making it home. After putting away groceries, I spent the evening reading cookbooks, blogs on kids lunches, and chatting with my neighbor.

This morning was boring. I started the dishes, because SOMEONE (Matt), hadn't done them in four days and I wanted them done. He noticed and finished them. 'Bout Time! I sat and drank my coffee, considering buying Lindsay a new lunchbox she might actually use, and finally got myself moving. Lindsay and I went over her breakfast and lunch calendars for school and decided on two days a week she would carry a lunch with her. I'd like to make sure she's getting some fruit and veggies in her at least a couple lunches a week and packing it for her is a last ditch effort. Also, if I'm making sure there is 'lunch food' in the house, I'll be more likely to remember to take my own lunch to work and not spend $6 a day eating out. So the two of us went out looking for something similar to bento lunchboxes. I had read about the Laptop Lunchbox and there is a store here in town that carries them, but they're a little expensive. We found something that works at Target, but not before we had visited Bed, Bath and Beyond (bought silicone muffin cups), Big Lot's, Savers (on the off chance that there would be some sort of plastic box that would work) and Walgreen's. The Target we bought the box at was the second one we had been to... yep, I bought something I'd already seen at the first place we went, I just had to go to the other one to convince myself that I wouldn't really find anything better. The up side? It was a dollar cheaper at the older Target. Now why is that?

When we got home, I did lunch prep for the coming week, washed the new lunch stuff, and even made hummus. I planned the weeks dinners, two lunches for A, four lunches for me to carry to work (which is really a first for me), cut up fruit, and made the boys some extra food to take to school tomorrow.

I've been awfully domestic today. I'm tired.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Books On The Sidebar and Some Whine

Naughty Neighbors, I don't even know where this one is. It wasn't a bad book, but I never seemed to have the time.


The Amber Chronicles? It's a lot of pages. Yeah, that's a cop-out. I just don't have the time...

Wait, that excuse may have been used before...

I've read Digital Fortress before and I'm just not into it right now.

Besides, I just don't have the time.

And I have a class starting in a month. And Varsity football games on Thursdays or Fridays, soccer practice on Tuesday (which I carpool home) and Friday, JV football on Monday, Tuesday or Friday, soccer games on Saturdays, and that class? It's Tuesday at 6. Soccer practice is over at five and we live about half an hour from the practice field, and the campus is 20 minutes from home....

See a theme here?

I just don't have any time. I'm betting that I'm not alone.

The Bad, The Sad, The Good & The Smelly

The Bad
Jake and Lindsay had bronchitis. It was very bad. Lindsay was so sick that she had to have a nebulizer treatment before they could even hear her lungs. Apparently, she has allergies that brought on asthma that allowed the bronchitis to develop. She's been on five different medications for two weeks. She missed three soccer practices and a whole week of school because she was too sick - and I mean sick - to even be outside.

Jake is still recovering as well. He had a rough football game last Friday night; between the difficulty breathing and the fatigue, he barely made it. But 17 year old boys are determined.

You now know the reason for my extended absence. I've been so stressed out that I could hardly sleep, let alone blog. Oh, and let's not forget that my allergies have created a swollen, snotty, sneezy creature that kind of resembles me. And that's when I take Zyrtec and Benedryl. I LOVE August.

The Sad
Jake and Matt are on the same varsity football team. Matt is on the kick return team and Jake plays tackle on the Offensive Line. They played their rival school in the season home opener and lost. It was a sad game. If they'd had 60 seconds more, they would have tied the game. But football scores don't care if you have 10 more seconds or 10 more minutes - they lost.

Tonight they are playing down in Longmont. Rob is at darts in Longmont and Lindsay and I are staying home. I hope the boys win. I hope Jake feels okay.

The Good
My boss bought me a new computer and I've spent this week transferring files and getting everything running. And I have internet! Not dial-up! A real, honest to Pete, DSL connection on a wireless network! My boss has joined the 21st Century - and he brought me along!

While changing over to a computer with more RAM, a more powerful dual-core processor, and internet access, is great, it's also very stressful. And since my old computer isn't destined for my son's desk (it's going to be a training computer for our field guys), it means that I have to wipe everything company-related from the hard drive. Sounds easy, but I've got to make sure that everything has been moved before I go around deleting everything. Then I'll have to run scan-disk and defrag the whole thing. I'm having nightmares about it all.

The Smelly
Remember the mice that were running across my desk in the night while leaving me their little presents? You see where this is going, right? My boss used poison to rid the office of the fuzzy little rodents and swore to me that they'd run away to find water before they died...

They died where they were getting in - through a hole they'd chewed in the wall under a cabinet. And they didn't make it much farther than that. They began to stink and I smelled it on Tuesday when I went into work. Oh, Geeze did it stink!

It took us a day and a half to find the source of the smell because the hole was under a cabinet that appeared to be mounted tight to the floor but was, in fact, just decorative kick-board.

My boss decided to just seal up the hole and this morning the office was stink-free.

The Now
Whatever, that was cheesy.

So I say to Lindsay, "It's just you and me tonight." She walks over to me, gives me a hug, and says, "I'm gonna go play."

I'm totally feelin' the love.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Can You Say Torture?

Yeah, it was that bad and I hated every second. But I'll try to do it again tomorrow.

I went a mile. No, I didn't run it all. I managed to actually run for about a quarter of it, at most. My calf - just one - burned, and when I got home, that ankle was swollen. Go figure. I did worse than I'd hoped but I'll work on it.

My boys were impressed though. They couldn't believe that I'd actually gotten out there on my own. They asked why, and I told them that if I could lose 20 pounds in a year watching what I eat, maybe I could lose twice that if I ran. They offered suggestions: stretch well before running (they were amazed when I showed them that I could touch my toes, they said I couldn't, so I showed them - schmucks) and speed walk the first half mile. They were encouraging.

Then, a few hours later, I managed to roll my ankle - snaps and pops were involved. Not the one that was swollen, the other one. I'm amazing. So if both my ankles are better tomorrow afternoon, I'll stretch, speed walk for half a mile, and try to run most of the last half.

Wish me luck as I torture myself.

Exercising My Hidden Masochist

So running is supposed to be good for you. I read that somewhere - in a blog, where else? Running has great benefits and while you may hate it, you will likely love it as well. We shall see.

I've used arthritis as an excuse not to run or jog for years. Maybe I shouldn't, but I've got to try something more. Walking hasn't ever been enough for me, I don't feel like I've actually gotten a work out and I get bored. Maybe running will be the trick.

I'll let you know - assuming I don't die - whether it's worth it... for me.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

My Boss Hates Me (title courtesy of Matt)

My boss is trying to kill me.

Okay, so I'll explain. We've had a problem at work, a small (we're guessing) fuzzy problem. A few weeks ago, I sat down at my desk, reached for the phone, and noticed little droppings... it was icky. I cleaned them up and looked at the rest of my desk - it's a big desk - and found MORE. It went from icky to gross.

I picked up some of the droppings in a tissue (yes, I did!) and took them to my boss. "I think we have a problem," I said as I put down the tissue and opened it up. He agreed, saying that he'd found a roll of paper towels in his cabinet that looked like it had been chewed.

And then he did nothing.

I complained about it nearly every day, and last Friday...? I full on demanded (nicely) that he do something about the little rodent.

This morning I went into work and found lots of little droppings and nearly blew my top - and then I did blow my top. I found poison on my desk! Yes, I did! I saw what looked like crumbs spilling from behind my monitor -a flat screen that has about three inches of space behind it underneath the counter (picture a receptionist's desk) - and when I pulled it forward, there was a little block of what looked like granola bar. But it wasn't. And I picked it up before I realized what it was!

I marched back to his office - after thoroughly washing my hands - and asked if he'd put poison on my desk. "Oops, I forgot to clean it up." OOPS? That's all ya' got?

Damn, I think he's trying to off me!

Matt agrees that my boss is trying to kill me... and he says he doesn't blame him! Little ingrate.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Yes. Another Post


I was just going through pictures on my computer and found this one. I think it's AMAZING! I'd never seen it before. It was taken by a friend and one of over 400 that I loaded onto my computer for safe keeping - oh, and so I could have my I graduation pictures, thank you very much.
This is Lindsay last summer, somewhere on the back side of the Horsetooth Rock trail.

A Dog Meme

Tami was tagged for a "Pug Meme" but didn't know enough pug owners... My family had an English Springer Spaniel for just over five years. He's gone now, but we still LOVE Springers.

How did you first learn about English Springer Spaniel's?

A friend of ours was a breeder. She'd had Springers for years and adored them.

What made you get an English Springer Spaniel?

When our breeder friend's dog had puppies, I talked to the hubby about getting one and begged but NO GO. He said we couldn't have a dog where we live and I decided I agreed with him and didn't have another thing to do with those adorable puppies... Until one night we went to their house for dinner and he heard the phrase "bird dog". He was hooked. We decided to buy one of her last puppies, a fifteen week old male that seemed quieter than his brother. (He wasn't)

Most memorable moment with your English Springer Spaniel?

Egad - probably the time we went to the zoo and left him home alone (how dare we). When we got home, we found that he had eaten the back door! I kid you not! He wanted out so he, somehow, ate the corner of the backdoor enough to push it out and escape! Lord, have mercy and give me patience! see below

But we had tons of fun times with him too. We took him to the cabin for Christmas one year and discovered that he'd rather run a mile in four feet of snow than have anything to do with a snow mobile.

We went to Horsetooth Reservoir with him and played all day on the beach. He loved to run and play and sometimes, on his own terms, to get wet. The weirdest damn water dog I've ever met.

We took him to the park a lot. They were family outings and he was family. 'Nuff said.

And every night when the hubby and I would go to bed, Hunter would lay between us while I pet him on the head. When I'd stop (because I was falling asleep or I thought he was) Hunter would turn his big head and look at me, asking me with those beautiful big brown eyes why I would stop, "Don't stop Mom."

What is the most important thing that English Springer Spaniel's have taught you?

I learned more about unconditional love and patience from Hunter than I think I have from any other person in my life. Mostly because he constantly tried my patience, but no matter what, would always love on me and let me know that he loved ever last bit of me... toes, feet, hands, nose - all of it.

Best thing you ever did for your English Springer Spaniel?

Unfortunately, the best thing we ever did for him was to let him go. We found out, after a short illness, that Hunter had lymphoma and it had spread to nearly every part of his body. We put him down the next day after taking two rolls of film - because that would be the day we couldn't find the damn digital camera. (Unfortunately, these pictures are all on my computer at work.)

[IMAGE REMOVED]

Here's a picture of him that the kids took with my cell phone (and the first picture of me on this blog). Maybe I'll load more of them tomorrow.

He really was a beautiful dog and we loved him.

The Soccer Club Bites

I am so frustrated with the Soccer Club and Lindsay's new coach right now that I could just scream, and I have - at least once.

The soccer teams are made up of girls from all over Fort Collins and when there are not enough girls to make a full team from one school, they are combined with schools in the 'same geographical' area. Or that's the way it's supposed to work.

Lindsay's team is made up of girls from six different schools over eight miles apart. There are much closer schools, trust me, and we* are guessing that these 11 girls are all that was left from all over town so they must have thought it would be easiest to throw them all together and call it good.

The worst part is that their coach insists on having practice five miles away from us (and we're not the farthest away), and no where in the middle of the six schools. He's being inconsiderate of the parents of the five kids' families that live on this side of town.

He might have considered having one practice a week at his home school, and one practice a week at a school in the middle - and that's not even my school, folks!

He even had the nerve to say to me that no one from our school stepped up to coach... well, if we'd known there was a problem - and we didn't because the Club didn't put out a call for coaches like they usually do - we might have been able to find a coach, or even had some notice that we'd be spending much more a week on gas...

When it comes time for the coaches gift, I'll say I've already given him mine. I drove to where he wanted to have practice when he wouldn't be considerate of the five players on the other side of town... I paid in gas. Glad he enjoyed our gift.

*We refers to another family from Lindsay's school.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Notes From A Meme

I read a lot of blogs; let's face it, I'm addicted. That means I get to see a lot of meme's. I read their answers and think of my own to the questions, like everyone else, I'm sure.

I've noticed this question several times in the last couple of weeks, "Have you ever saved anyone's life?"

Actually, the answer for me is "yes", but the story isn't amazing. Regardless, I'll tell it.

I woke up to a phone call at 6:30 in the morning. My caller ID told me it was my neighbor and my first thought was, "What the HELL?!"

When I answered, I knew something was wrong. Her speech was slurred and she was confused, saying that she couldn't wake her daughter up. I hung up on her and ran next door. When I approached her front door I could smell the gas; it was thick and heavy.

I opened the storm door and saw my neighbor lying on the floor and her daughter asleep on the couch. They were difficult to get moving but once I got mom up, she dealt with her daughter while I went outside away from the fumes to call 911 on my cell phone.

The paramedics took them to the hospital and the fire department shut down and red tagged their furnace, placed fans throughout the house, and told me that I'd saved both the neighbor's lives.

When they got home from the hospital, the neighbor gushed over me and told everyone she talked to that I'd saved them. I was totally embarrassed, all I did was go to their house and yell a lot!

Funny how a meme can bring up those memories.

I can also say that I
  • made the decision to disconnect someone from life support
  • climbed a mountain
  • had my picture in the paper
  • licked a 9-volt battery
  • thrown up in public
  • suck at math
That's all I've got for now... Has a meme ever reminded you of something in your life that you had forgotten?

Friday, August 15, 2008

Missin' My Movies

**Edited to add - Our Netflix came on Saturday! YEA!

Look familiar? Well, we haven't seen any since we sent ours back on Monday. The Netflix system apparently has some problems and I'm about ready to have some withdrawal issues; I really wanted to see Sahara and Flight of the Phoenix, and I'm sure the hubby was looking forward to the next Stargate Atlantis disk! Maybe I'll have to curl up in my chair tonight - with A in hers next to me - and watch some Netflix online.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Birthday Party

I totally forgot to post any pictures of The GF's birthday party. She and her brother share a birthday but she's two years older than him. Their birthdays aren't until next week but the party was last Friday evening.

They had a 50-foot slip 'n slide, sumo wrestler suits and a bouncy house - the kids are celebrating their 16th and 18th birthdays... Some kids...


This is Jake and The GF. Check out how much ankle Jake has going on!



The bouncy house - that's Lindsay in the swim suit and half of The GF's mom on the left. (I must be really good at taking pictures of half of people!) And you can't see the food, but the spread included M&M's, Oreo's, three kinds of chips, root beer on tap, hot dogs, hamburgers and a tub of red licorice!


The top of the slip 'n slide. The slide went down a hill and took a... maybe 35-degree turn? And they went down it in sumo suits! While it was raining.

Rainbows and Butterflies and Pink Ponies

Remember how I said I need to think of rainbows? Well, one showed up.

I'm going to let it sink in for awhile.



Maybe I'll see a pink pony this weekend... you don't think so?

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Just Call Me Technically Challenged

The hubby fixed the fridge. Apparently, the pin and washer I found on the floor were all the parts we needed to put the door back on.

It seems that my lovely refrigerator was assembled by the Kenmore people on a Friday afternoon because all of the screws and bolts seem to be loose and that's why the door fell off - the pin just worked it's way out.

Thank heavens it's fixed. And I even managed to clean the door!

Seriously?

We bought a new refrigerator last November when my old one took a crap. And it didn't really give us much notice, if you don't count that the compressor had been banging when it shut down for like... oh, I don't know, a YEAR? But seeing as how this is the first refrigerator that we actually own and the landlords don't because, well, it's our house, it was our responsibility to fix it or replace it. We just had no idea how they give you warning when their about to say their final goodbye's.

We bought a decent, lower end (but not the lowest) refrigerator from Sears during a decent sale and spent about $400 on it. I have been pretty happy with my new fridge; it keeps the food cold and all, what more do you really want from a refrigerator, right?

I want it to NOT BREAK! For a couple of weeks, busy weeks (that's my excuse for not being smarter), the refrigerator door was hanging a little lower on one side. I didn't know why exactly, but I suspected that the bottom brace on the hinge side was bent and that we'd have to replace it. It's under warranty, right? Yeah, it is. But I thought that fixing it ourselves - eventually - would be easier than calling in the warranty.

Tonight the door FELL OFF in my hand. I freaked out, took all the food in the door and put it on the counter so I could turn it upside down and find out what the hell happened! The pin (or whatever is in the bottom) is either broken in half or it's missing half of it. I found half of it and a washer on the floor but the rest seems to have disappeared. Who knows when it broke or came undone and I have no idea what I'm looking for.

Tomorrow I'll call a Kenmore dealer/repair shop and find out if they know what I need to fix it - and it really should be just putting the part in and putting the the door back on, right?

In the meantime, the door is empty and in place, but when you open it... it just falls off in your hand.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Regarding Friends

I truly love the fact that I have several good friends. I have friends that have families that require lots of attention and I have friends who have more time to converse (read: chit chat with no point). Some people have the time and some don't, I accept that.

These days though, I feel like I make everyone uncomfortable when I bear my soul, or even a tiny corner of it. I want so very much to call up my high school girlfriend and talk about life. I want to hear how her family is really doing; I don't want her to hide anything because we haven't been close in years. And I want to talk about Michael with her because she is one of the few people who actually knew him. But, we haven't been close in years and it makes me very sad.

I find myself isolated because I don't want to subject those friends I have to the pain that I am experiencing. My grief is uncomfortable. I know.

For the time being, I have to swallow the lump in my throat and think of rainbows and butterflies and pink ponies when I talk to my friends. Maybe that's why my phone doesn't ring much these days.

Bitter Revisited

Today I was reading a loss blog of a woman whose son was stillborn. To be fair, I haven't read a whole lot of her. She's probably a wonderful person. The following just hit me wrong during a very difficult time I'm going through.

She said, and I'll quote here,

"...there is absolutely no need to tell me, a woman who has buried her only (much wanted, much planned for) son, about the prevalence of teen pregnancy in North America. My Spidey-Senses begin to tingle when I am in within 200 paces of a teen mom. I generally avoid Saturdays at the mall so I don't have to look at the teen parent's showing off their kids, or their friends thinking they are so cool. I don't go to high school functions or teen activities, because I choose NOT to think about the unfairness of unwanted teen pregnancies in light of my experience. Thank you so much for bringing up the issue of teen pregnancy with me - just what I wanted to think about right now."

This quote is from a post that is over two years old but it stirred something in me that I've found horribly unfair for 19 years. I was told, while Michael lay on life support in the PICU that, "This is your punishment from God." Ummm, oookay...? But I didn't take it that well; my reaction was more like a silent contemplation of the fact that God did not love me and that he was heartless enough to kill a baby in order to punish me. People looked at me as though I was a freak, a teen parent who lost their child? "Well, she'll get over it, she's young."

Why is it that just because I was a teen parent and my son unplanned, that people don't think it was just as difficult for me to lose him than it would have been for a 20-something year old who had tried for a year to get pregnant? Is there really a difference?

I haven't written about Michael's life or the day he died - I'm not ready to share all that yet (I guess); I've only written about his impact on me so let me just say...

I was two weeks shy of my 16th birthday when I got pregnant with him. I was one month shy of my 17th birthday when he died. My faith was destroyed, my boyfriend (now husband) and I split up, my friends found me too unbearable because I wasn't fun, I dropped out of school, I became withdrawn, addicted to pain medication and sleeping pills, I was a 17 year old mess.

I did overcome it, most of it. The hubby and I have three healthy children. But invisible to most people, our family is cracked and someone is missing. Michael was the first, so the kids don't remember him but they do know that I'm sometimes sad about him and that I'm overprotective because of my experiences - I always think I'm going to lose one of them too.

I understand the she was just writing what she was feeling and that's OKAY. But the sentiment is out there; people think less about teen parents as actual parents and more of them as a public health issue, a societal problem - and let's not forget that they just think less of them.

Try to remember what it was like the first time you laid eyes on your son or daughter - that's what it was like for me too.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

The Lost Children

I've been having trouble with a happy occasion in one of my friends lives. No, I'm not a bad person, but as much as I am happy for her, the situation has become very difficult for me.

My friend Amaya and I have an odd connection. She lost custody of her son nearly 15 years ago to her control-freak mother who then had a permanent restraining order placed on her. She hadn't seen her son in all those 15 long years and didn't hold any hope of seeing him again - until last week.

He called her. Within days he came to see her.

How awesome is that? It's really awesome...

But it made me cry. And not tears of happiness. The realization that I would never, ever have that reconnection was nearly too much to handle. It's not as if I didn't know I'd never see Michael again but it had been years since it was so in. my. face.

I have tried to have conversations with her about his visits and how wonderful she feels but I cry every time we talk about her son. Sometimes I cry when I'm on the phone with her; sometimes I can wait until I'm in bed.

My child is gone and no matter how long I wait, I won't see him again until I join him. Time does not heal all wounds, it just makes them less fresh and not as close to the surface. Damn, this hurts.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Microburst - And I had to look that up!

We had a microburst tonight - a massive gust of winds - that downed my neighbor's tree... right onto her new car.

The winds picked up and peaked in about 15 seconds and then died out just as quickly. In those few moments I got up, closed the dining room window most of the way and was headed to the front door to rescue anything that might blow away outside.

My daughter met me at the door hysterically crying about a tree falling on the neighbor's son. I ran over to their driveway and discovered their tree laying on their car and their basketball hoop on it's side. The neighbor's boyfriend was under the tree, and for a moment, I thought it had hit him.



















Here's one of the pictures I took.

The neighbor boy was hit on the back by the falling basketball hoop but he's okay. The tree actually fell beside the car and two branches were on the car.

Since the homeowners association said they wouldn't remove it until morning, the neighbor's boyfriend took a hatchet to them and they got the pressure off the car.

And there is no damage. Can you believe it?

In the picture you can see my neighbor off to the left - or half of her - and the hubby is standing in front of it with his very attractive shorts on. :)

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Migraine - From the Bad to the Good

Wow - I'm all bad news, all the time.

I'll have to work on posting some of the good things. As soon as I start noticing them, I'll start posting them, k?

I woke up with a headache and soon realized it was a migraine. I hadn't had one in about a month so I was surprised. I was also in denial so I pulled a pillow over my head, fell back to sleep, and overslept by an hour.

When I got to work, on time (pat on the back), I took a Maxalt and you know what? It worked! My neck aches but the blinding pain is gone and my head just feels like it's stuffed with cotton.

Oh, another good thing - I didn't hit anything with my car as I drove to work in a haze of pain this morning.

I'm about as giddy as is possible at the moment. May all your medications work well for you today...

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Riots on the Home-Front

Today there was kicking and crying at my house. You could almost call that an accomplishment since it's normally worse than that, except today it made me downright angry.

Why can't they be nice to each other? Why is that so difficult? I ask them but they never have anything to say except, "Well if he/she didn't...."

For some reason, the boys believe that it is their God given right to torture their sister with words. Lindsay, on the other hand, believes that she has license to kick, hit, throw things, and scream bloody murder.

Is it sibling rivalry? Is it that she thinks she's the princess?

I don't know. Someday it will be quiet in our home, but they will be all grown up and it will feel empty.

Why can't they just love each other, the big jerks?

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Friends Leave

So I'm at work and my cell phone rings. Not uncommon, the kids call all the time during the day, as do those people who want all my paycheck - are those two the same thing?

Anyway, the caller ID says that it's a friend of mine from from college. She's lived in Denver for the past three years and I only see her once a year but we call about every two months to catch up on eachother's lives.

She left a message saying that she's moving to California in a few weeks and wanted to catch up before she did. I don't know why that makes me so sad, but it does. I've know for a couple of years that her dream job lies in LA and that she just can't pursue it here in Colorado.

I'll talk to her tonight and wish her well. I hope that her life turns out great but I'm just so sad that she's leaving.

Monday, July 28, 2008

The Case Of The Bad Milk

Safeway is getting on my nerves. They are one of six large chain grocery stores in town (if you count Super Wal-Mart and the just opened Super Target - with whom I'm falling in love, by the way).

I've been a loyal Safeway shopper for 12 years now, even when their prices seem to be the highest in town and they can't decide how they want the groceries arranged and in which aisle they belong. I complain to my favorite employees, there are three of them, that I just can't understand why the management wants to upset their loyal customers with their insane midnight store rearranging, removing some of the loyal customer discounts, and even flip-flopping the way they handle buy-one-get-one sales. I've written a comment card exactly once, so in part, this is my bad.

Today I drove to Safeway to return a gallon of milk that I had just opened. When I unscrewed the cap I nearly fell over. The milk doesn't expire until tomorrow and I only bought it a few days ago. Again, chalk one up to my bad for not digging in the back for one who's expiration date was farther out. So I take the milk to the customer service counter and say it's bad and that I have more shopping to do. I had to buy ice cream - priorities you know.

The assistant manager asks me if I'd bought two gallons originally and I say yes. This means that I only paid $3.50 for the gallon and she proceeds to refund that price. I told her that I was going to buy another gallon to replace this one and she said that was fine. I asked if I'd have to pay the regular price since I wasn't buying two. She said yes.

Seriously?

"Um, that sucks," I said to her, "since I'm just replacing this one."

"Yeah."

That's what she said. As if paying to replace an unexpired bad gallon of milk was just a normal business practice.

I asked if she could just exchange it. With a (sticky) sweet smile on her face, she agreed that I could do it that way if I wanted to and she would keep the bad gallon with her.

Sigh...

What is wrong with these people!?

In the past when I've replaced a bad gallon, this very assistant manager has asked me if I left it out in the car after I bought it. As in, did you ruin it yourself? Now why in the hell would I do that?

Lousy customer service.

I've really got to start shopping at King Soopers more.

Oh, yeah! And SUPER TARGET!

As a side note - I was asked no less that 8 times if I needed help finding anything when I was in Super Target yesterday!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Look Up Pathetic In The Dictionary...

You'll find my picture there.

I have some serious 'oh, woe is me' attitude going on. I hate it when that happens because I'm a complete wreck and I'm pathetic. I've decided to accept that my neighbor is going to move. She's not only going to move, but she's going to leave me behind! Oh, wait. That's what moving is, right? Yeah… That's how pathetic I am.

My neighbor hasn't even found out how much she can spend on a house, let alone bought one, and I'm dreading the day she leaves. Sigh…

I hate change. I've always hated it because I can't remember a single change that hasn't had something totally awful and horrible associated with it. Yes, I do have a flare for the dramatic. But, change sucks. So when I think of one of my nearest and dearest friends moving across town (eye roll), it makes me nuts. You see, we don't go out and do things together. We're neighbors that are closer than most but not go-out-and-do-things kind of neighbors.

(We are sit-on-the-porch-and-drink neighbors. We email almost every day and talk, getting drunk - or nearly - about once every six weeks or so. Maybe. But if she moves, that's the end of that.)

Although, a month or so ago, she and her boyfriend called me from a bar and begged us to meet them for a few drinks – and we went – and we suffered through that ultimate fighting pay-per-view at the bar. (another eye roll!)

I'm just so down on everything right now that some distant event has the power to make tears leap into my eyes, my breath catches behind the lump building in my throat, and my world feels for a moment like it might crash around my shoulders. I'm a mess.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Matt's First Driving Confrontation

This evening I took Matt driving. He got his learners' permit on Monday and this was his second time out.

We own a stick shift and my theory has always been that when you first learn to drive, it should been on a manual. I've been careful about only driving when the traffic is light, starting out in empty parking lots and driving around our neighborhood. But this evening we noticed that the driveway between the new shopping center and the parking lot we've been using had been opened. I decided we'd start out in the parking lot of the new shopping center, Front Range Village, and then drive into our neighborhood. It adds some distance and there was zero traffic.

Matt was slow to get moving; he was having difficulty with the transition between stop and go... if you've driven a stick shift, you know what I'm talking about. It took him a few times to get moving but he finally made it and we came up to a stop sign. There was a security truck for the Front Range Village just sitting at the intersection and I realized that he'd been sitting there for several minutes watching us - probably since we'd changed drivers. Matt had a few more false starts and the truck pulled up next to us, his drivers' window next to ours, and asked if there was a problem. I told him, from the passengers seat, that we were having a driving lesson and that we were headed out of the parking lot. Remember, there is not another moving car or person within 1,000 feet of us and no parked cars within 500 feet. We were obviously headed out of the center via a back road. The 'gentleman' (and I use that term loosely) said that it was private property and that if he (Matt) needed driving lessons, he should take drivers' education. I said again that we were leaving and he just stared at us. I said, "Thank you, and goodbye," smiling a sweet smile and said we were on our way. I believe he was trying to get me out of the passengers seat and into the drivers seat so that we would leave as soon as possible... I didn't. I just sat and stared at him until he pulled away. When Matt got moving again, the security truck turned around and followed us, to make sure we were leaving.

I'll be sure to shop there every damn day for the next month, buying a loaf of bread at the new Super Target, a screw at the new Lowe's, and let Matt drive home every damn day. I'll be sure to leave the crowded parking area, park in an empty area, make a huge deal of changing drivers, hoping attract the attention of the security, and then slowly pulling out to get their attention. When the library opens, we'll be sure to annoy the security even more.

Maybe I made a bad choice by choosing 'private' property, maybe we should have shopped there first, maybe we should have stuck to our neighborhood. But maybe the condescending attitude of a rent-a-cop was unnecessary and our ability to annoy them - legally - has been confirmed.

Yeah, I'll shop there. And YES, I'll enjoy the potential confrontation.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

BlogHer

Oh, have MERCY! I've been reading about BlogHer for months now and it never meant much to me because, well... My blog is a baby? Yeah, that's it. I had no idea what it was all about and I had no interest in meeting all of the mommy bloggers out there because I wasn't one of them.

NOT!

I may not be popular, I may not have but a handfull of readers and not even begin to understand Technorati ratings and all that stuff, but I read many of the women who are at BlogHer right now.

I wanna be part of it all!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Ramblings of an Insomniac

This is, quite literally, just a mess of mostly-unrelated topics with massive punctuation overuse, too many adjectives, meaningless ideas and a total and utter disregard for your time - READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
  • It's 1:30 in the morning and I'm exhausted but I cannot sleep. I suffer from insomnia quite a bit. The morning after brings headaches, neck and back pain, more exhaustion I can't relieve, and the inability to hold a coherent conversation with my 9 year old. Pretty pathetic, huh? I've been sitting at my desk reading blogs and watching videos - The Breakfast Club and Speed (so far, but there may be more). Thank heavens I don't have to work on Mondays.
  • I began my lovely evening reading a few of the blogs I frequent but decided to hit on a few that I only read occasionally for various reasons. I visited Loralee's Looney Tunes and got stuck on it for hours. I began reading her several months ago because she, like me, is a SIDS parent and I feel a bond with her, even though she has no idea who I am. Anyway, she recently had a knock-off 'post-secret' like blog post where people posted their secrets anonymously. I think it was amazing, though at least a quarter of the posts were likely TOTAL BS. But, whatever trips your trigger. If people want to lie anonymously on someone else's blog then they must need the attention. So go check some of this stuff out, the ones that sound 'real' are intriguing.
  • I'm going to be a slacker this week. I don't think I'll be getting a decent meal plan together anytime soon. Maybe the kids will starve. It's more likely that they will scrounge something like canned soup or hot dogs and macaroni and cheese though.
  • Some debt is coming back to haunt me. Last year we found ourselves with some very tough decisions to make due to a decrease in our income and other factors: pay the credit card bills or buy food and health insurance for the kids. Obviously my children were fed and had insurance, since you continue to hear about them, and the credit card companies didn't get paid. Now, one of them - so far - wants their money, and they want it now. You get the idea.
  • Due to the above, I may not be attending Regis in the fall and I will have to start repaying my student loans. Another $400 a month out of our already-tight budget? I think not. I still haven't decided what I'm going to do, but I may end up being a college drop-out with only ten classes left. It makes me sad.
  • Being wiped out, as I am now, makes you admit to things that may not belong on a blog.
  • I'm looking for scholarships designed to help seniors finish their last year in college when their student loans have run out. Hint, hint!
  • While I've been mercifully free of headaches for a couple of days, I found out today that one of the moms I met at soccer is suffering from the same horrible, debilitating headaches. She's even taken the same drugs as I have, with no better luck. I long to be able to solve it for her or offer her helpful advice because I know her pain. Unfortunately, that isn't the case.
  • My plan for tomorrow was to do laundry all morning, clean out my pantry, clean the living room, attached office and dining room including the ever-important vacuuming. I hope I get some of it done.
  • Today I told someone about my Nissan Altima. We were just chatting and I was explaining why I bought a new car. All of the Altima's problems, faults and necessary repairs were confessed along with how much I wanted to sell it for - and then they told me that they might want to buy it?! I told them they didn't want it. Looking out for my own interests? Uh, NOT! If I keep this up, I'll never sell the damn thing.
  • Tomorrow, um... I guess it's well into July 14th. Today is my 17th wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, we're broke and I don't even have anything amazing to make for a nice dinner here at home. I'm bummed about this.
  • We've been looking for a grill since last summer when we had to retire our old one due to leaks in the connections. We haven't bought one yet because it seems like an extravagant expense. Yesterday, someone gave us a used grill - gave, as in, for free. It's so nice to know that there are genuinely kind people out there.
  • Lindsay and I went to the farmers market on Sunday and bought the bag-o-veggies for $10 again. We picked out zucchini, again, asparagus, a red onion, red and white potatoes, turnips, broccoli and basil. I cut and froze the asparagus and basil. I had meant to use a Martha Stewart tip and chop the basil before putting it into ice cube trays filled with water and then freeze them but I totally spaced it out. For the record, I hate Martha Stewart. I may go into that more in depth someday.
  • Apparently, I have a new way to spend my nights. I can't sleep so I watch movies until I'm bored out of my mind but can't sleep and instead I clean! My mother would be so proud. When I was younger, I would clean when I was angry. My mother figured this out and would occasionally make me outraged; it was the only way my house ever got really clean. Now that I'm in my mid thirties, anger no longer inspires me to clean my messy house. My subconscious must have decided to find a new route to the clean living room. Bore her out of her mind! Then she must clean!
  • It's a few minutes shy of 4 in the morning and my eyelids are starting to get a little heavy. I've put the movie Tremors on and am starting to succumb to its sleep-aid effect.
  • May you have many good nights' sleep and never suffer from insomnia - Good night. Or is it morning...

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Without Four-Letter Words

I found a quote on Tami's site that inspired me. Insults with class! There is a whole page of them. Go check it out... go, do it and be quick about it. Then come back... please?

Worth it, wasn't it? I thought so.

There's one that made me think of myself... "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

Maybe that's what I should have named my site...'Delusions of Adequacy" I'll have to consider changing my blog name. NOT! But seriously, I dream of being simply adequate. Seems like I should be aiming higher but I'm spread so thin most of the time that I nearly always miss the mark.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Zucchini Pie

Tami was right. It is really difficult to get good pictures of food.

Tonight I made a zucchini pie to go with dinner. I found the recipe on Pillsbury's website. It's similar to the recipe I had a couple of years ago. I played with it and came up with something pretty yummy. Of course, I forgot to take pictures before I sliced it and ate some of it.

It was pretty good. You should try it.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Sluggish

I added a new widget to my side bar. It shows the books you've read, are reading or plan to read. So far I've only added what is in my book bag - the bag I take to work with me and that's almost always near my desk when I'm home. This way I don't lose anything - or at least not easily!

I've owned the blogging book for months and I keep it in my bag to dig out when I'm feeling lost at the computer and for when I'm bored out of my mind at work. It will probably stay on the list for a while. The Amber Chronicles was supposed to be done by the end of May - right. I've only finished one of the ten books it contains. I'll have to start working on that. Sadly, I've read Inca Gold and Digital Fortress already. I have a Janet Evanovich book on my nightstand but it's been there for weeks and I haven't picked it up. I'll have to figure out what it is, add it and then actually read it.

I haven't felt well since last Thursday so I've been a big lazy slug. I've watched a ton of movies and recorded television shows on the DVR. I think I'm ready to go back to work though. I need to do something with my sorry self. I didn't even spend time working on our dinner plan for this week, even though D and I went to the store yesterday. I've planned around the food I bought rather than the other way around.

Meal Plan - July 7 - 13
  • Monday - Beef and Broccoli with rice. We were going to have this last week - I think - but never did.
  • Tuesday - Green Chili Smothered Chicken and spanish rice.
  • Wednesday - Oven Baked Chicken and Zucchini Casserole.
  • Thursday - Slop. This a complicated mix of ground beef and cream of mushroom soup over rice or noodles. Don't knock it - my kids love it!
  • Friday - Veggie Beef Soup in the crock-pot.
  • Saturday - Burritos.
  • Sunday - Parmesan Chicken Fingers and Salad.

The hubby hates soup so he'll have to find something different on Friday. I know, I know... it's not nice to make food he won't eat, but there are things I just really want that he hates. I have to do that sometimes. Normally he would be out of the house when I'd make something he won't eat, like D and I were on Sunday when the hubby made the fish he caught on Saturday. I really don't like trout.

I've obsessed for a few days about the Zucchini Casserole recipe that I seem to have lost. I can't find it anywhere, not in my email, my document folders, printed cookbooks, online - it's GONE! I obsessed until I found something different but satisfying. It's called Zucchini with Jalapeno Monterey Jack. Cut one zucchini in 1/4 inch slices and pan fry in a tiny bit of butter until done. Layer in a glass, microwave safe dish alternating with thin slices of pepper jack cheese. Microwave until cheese is bubbly. That's it. Use less cheese or plain Monterey Jack if you need to reduce the spiciness. I had some for lunch today - it was yummy.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Farmers Market

Matt and I stopped by the Farmers Market today right before they closed. We filled a big bag with veggies for $10. It's a pretty good deal. We bought beets, turnips, an onion ('cause I only needed one), zucchini, yellow squash, peas, green beans, carrots and cucumbers. The bag probably weighed 20 pounds. Too bad we don't eat cooked greens or we'd have lots more for our $10.

I happend to have some mangos and oranges on the counter when I took this picture - they didn't come from our local growers. :)

I'm excited to make a zucchini bake recipe I have. It's so decadent. It's got sliced or julienned zucchini, pepper jack cheese, eggs and bread crumbs in it. It is sooooo good. I'll have to find the recipe and post it. I think I got it from Food Network.

Tonight we are not making dinner. The hubby went fishing last night and cooked up his fish while D and I were out running errands, Matt got a sandwich from the Deli at Safeway, and I got a panini from the Spicy Pickle - don't ask.

I haven't come up with a plan for this weeks meals yet - I'm thinking there are going to be simple and even non-existent this week because Lindsay is gone, Jake works and spends time with The Girlfriend, and Matt has a friend from California in town this week. I could live on soup and sandwiches or salads.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Our 4th

I have ideas for blog posts all of the time but never seem to be able to get them written down anymore. I'm working on a post about my brothers, though it's only a few sentences so far. I've thought about posting about health frustrations I'm experiencing right now, but thinking about it is draining. So I thought I'd just summarize our holiday.

I was supposed to meet my parents for breakfast this morning at 8am but I hit snooze on my alarm once and then turned it off ten minutes later. I didn't even think about why it was going off the second time, I just wanted it to shut up! An hour and twenty minutes later, my mother called from the restaurant to ask when we'd be there. It was 8:02. I told her we'd be there as soon as we could, but a few minutes later she called back and said that we'd just skip it because they'd been seated for almost 15 minutes. I felt bad; I've never blown off a planned get-together with my parents.

Last night was busy. Lindsay and I had gone to the grocery store at 10 o'clock at night for the ingredients to a salad I made for our picnic today. Jake and Matt were at a computer gaming place and didn't get home until late - almost 12:30 in the morning. I stayed up to make sure they got home okay and then wasn't able to sleep until nearly 2 in the morning. It's no wonder we didn't get up on time. So this morning, with several hours to waste before heading to Greeley at 3:30, Lindsay and I made another trip to the grocery store. This time for the ingredients to a coleslaw recipe I'd found that was simple. I ended up taking a marinated antipasto salad - marinated mushrooms, mozzarella balls, cucumbers, olives, red bell pepper, garlic, etc. - blue cheese coleslaw (sounds weird, tastes pretty good), crackers and cheese, a fruit tray, and brie and french bread. I was really into food prep this morning. I did a load of laundry - which dried on the line in nearly 20 minutes because it was so damn hot here - 100-degrees at 5pm - and got Lindsay packed for her week stay in Greeley with her cousin and the hubby's Aunt.

The picnic was small, only the hubby's grandparents, two aunts, two uncles and my FIL. Because everyone (apparently) thought like I did, there was way too much food. We had a good time, relaxing and talking. There was bug spray involved because the mosquito's were insane. And the girls, Lindsay and her cousin, played and had lots of fun. Jake wasn't able to come because he worked two three-hour shifts today. So at eight o'clock tonight, I gathered everyone up and made them say their good-bye's. On our way back into Fort Collins, we dropped Matt off at a friend's house and he is staying the night. Jake was home when we got back and complaining that he's home with his parents on Friday, the 4th of July. I guess that makes him friendless or boring or something equally insane. The Girlfriend is up in Estes Park with her family, the best friend is camping up in Red Feather (in the mountains) with his family, and all of his other friends had plans that include partying. Jake isn't a big party guy, or at least he isn't yet. I, on the other hand, am okay with that.

So here I sit, at nearly midnight, typing the boring tale of our day... And I think I made one of my friends angry with me tonight - what a smashing day!

Monday, June 30, 2008

My Distractions

I guess we have to take the good with the bad sometimes. We did buy a 'new' car last week. It's a 1998 Ford Contour. It's red, not bright and not brick, somewhere in between. I'm kind of in love with it.

On the other hand, I've been in a lot of pain this last week. Yesterday was excruciating, but I survived. It's depressing to have to be in this same place again after so much time, surgery and hormone treatments. I think I'll be seeing the OB/GYN at my new doctors office sometime soon, transferring my records and starting over. There's so much to say about all of this, but somehow it seems done to death and I just can't bring myself to put it all down.

To provide a distraction, I've buried myself in some new cookbooks that a friend dropped off this weekend. They are mostly diet and Weight Watchers cookbooks, but I find them all fascinating. I found ideas for 'light' simple salads to take to work for lunch along with some dinner recipes that are not affected by the reduction of fat and calories. Not that I have a problem eating these foods myself, but my family has a tendency to turn their noses up at these types of meals. I did discover that I could never go on Weight Watchers because of it's continuous suggestion/requirement of sugar substitutes. I cannot use aspartame or even Splenda. I am allergic (or at least very sensitive) to aspartame and Splenda gives me a headache - like I don't have enough of those.

On the up side, I've confirmed a loss of over 20 pounds over the last year. Even though that number is not very high, it makes me happy because I didn't gain any of it back, showed continuous loss (and plateau's) rather that loss and gain. I've changed my eating habits, use healthy fats when I do use them, exercise more, eat less but more often (because of my hypoglycemia) and feel better. Next year I hope to experience a similar loss. The slower I lose, the more permanent - or at least that's the way I see it.

Even though I've spent hours and hours pouring over cookbooks, my meal plan for this week is still very basic.
Meal Plan - June 30 - July 6
  • Monday - Calzones. This time I used Pillsbury's Thin Crust Pizza Dough - it's light and crispy rather than heavy and... bready? Is that even a word?
  • Tuesday - Hamburger Casserole ala Lindsay.
  • Wednesday - Black Bean and Veggie Stack. It's like a Mexican lasagna - yummy.
  • Thursday - Spaghetti Carbonara.
  • Friday - Family Picnic and I have no idea what I'm bringing.
  • Saturday - Spicy Beef and Broccoli.
  • Sunday - Leftovers
I'm hoping to have a good attitude this week. I only have to work three days and I actually get paid for the 4th. Then I have four days off in a row. Lindsay will be spending the 4th through the 9th in Greeley with her cousin and the hubby's aunt. I think this second 'vacation' is to make up for her last one being cut short by snow in the mountains. They all plan to spend their days laying beside the pool and - again - having spa days.