20 Years

Today is the 20th anniversary of Michael's death.

20 years ago today, I kissed my baby boys sweet little head and told the doctor it was okay to turn off the ventilator.

Thinking about that still brings tears to my eyes. I wish I could still smell his sweet babyness, cuddle his tiny little self.

After his heart stopped and relatives held him to say their goodbyes, we swaddled him in a blanket, handed his little body over to a nurse, and watched her walk down the hall and out of sight.

I haven't let that scene play in my head in a long time. A piece of my heart broke off and shriveled up in that moment.

Time certainly does not heal all wounds. It eases their severity. But the deep ones? It doesn't ever just go away.

Fresh Heartbreak

The blogging world has experienced some young losses in the past weeks and it is heartbreaking. I don't know them, I never saw them on the street in passing, I didn't even read their mommy's blogs... It matters not; I ache for them.

And I think of him...

Please keep the Spohr and Myers families in your thoughts and prayers.

I Could Be A Jewelry Girl...

I found it, for only $10 at Kohls!


So it's fake, but the real thing cost $300, so the decision was easy to make. It's perfect, but I've seen some other pearl necklaces that now I have a craving for a few more pieces.