Look Up Pathetic In The Dictionary...

You'll find my picture there.

I have some serious 'oh, woe is me' attitude going on. I hate it when that happens because I'm a complete wreck and I'm pathetic. I've decided to accept that my neighbor is going to move. She's not only going to move, but she's going to leave me behind! Oh, wait. That's what moving is, right? Yeah… That's how pathetic I am.

My neighbor hasn't even found out how much she can spend on a house, let alone bought one, and I'm dreading the day she leaves. Sigh…

I hate change. I've always hated it because I can't remember a single change that hasn't had something totally awful and horrible associated with it. Yes, I do have a flare for the dramatic. But, change sucks. So when I think of one of my nearest and dearest friends moving across town (eye roll), it makes me nuts. You see, we don't go out and do things together. We're neighbors that are closer than most but not go-out-and-do-things kind of neighbors.

(We are sit-on-the-porch-and-drink neighbors. We email almost every day and talk, getting drunk - or nearly - about once every six weeks or so. Maybe. But if she moves, that's the end of that.)

Although, a month or so ago, she and her boyfriend called me from a bar and begged us to meet them for a few drinks – and we went – and we suffered through that ultimate fighting pay-per-view at the bar. (another eye roll!)

I'm just so down on everything right now that some distant event has the power to make tears leap into my eyes, my breath catches behind the lump building in my throat, and my world feels for a moment like it might crash around my shoulders. I'm a mess.