The source of my stress...

I have a little relief from the stress today.  I talked to my advisor yesterday and agreed that dropping one of my classes this semester wasn’t such a bad idea.  It’s better to pass one class than fail two.  I think I might be setting myself up for future stress but I just have had the most horrible year and a half. 

Things have to line up just perfectly for increasing stress in my life.  Everything kind of hinges on Rob getting a better job, any job.  Anything but fast food, or retail, or…  who am I kidding.  He needs to get a job in his field working for the industry rate.  And he has to do that in four months or less.  I need to leave my job to take one at a counseling firm that will also let me do my practicum and internship there.  It’s nearly my dream job, but it can’t happen if Rob and I can’t handle the pay cut that it will require.  Oh, such fun!

But tonight I’m just going to worry about whether or not Psych will be good.  It’s the season premier and we’re trying the new Bacon Cheeseburger pizza from Papa Murphy’s.  It’s a family couch date and I’m looking forward to it…  and then falling asleep all comfy and warm in my bed before by 10pm.

Lonely

It’s depressing when friends move away. Mine have been doing it for years and Rob has been kind enough to point out that it might have something to do with me. Ass.

I live in a college town so it shouldn’t surprise me when I make friends with people that are students and they move upon graduation – but I don’t only make friends with students. It’s just the nature of this city I guess.

I’m struggling with the loss of one of my dear friends. She moved two weeks after Matt left for boot camp, I know I’ve mentioned it before, but it’s really raw right now. She moved to Colorado Springs, which isn’t Mars but it might as well have been, as often as Rob and I manage to get out of Northern Colorado. Now she and her husband are moving to the western slope… over six hours drive through the mountains. I guess we might see them once a year and I know I’ll survive – I managed to live through LJ’s move 17 years ago and she never moved back, she hardly comes back, and I’ve only gone to see her twice. Sigh.

I guess I’ll have to make new friends again. Like it’s that easy.

No Motivation - For Anything

Sick. I hate being sick. Jake gave me a cold when he came over eleven days ago, I got sick nine days ago, and I still have the cough and chest congestion. It's getting old. And I'm wearing down. I was falling asleep on the couch last night at 8:30 and held out until 9 so I could send Miss Lindsay to bed - or insist she get in it. I crawled into my own bed and passed out.

I talked to a Navy Mom last night that attends the same grad program I'm in. She suggested I drop my second class this semester because I'm so worn down that I can hardly keep up with the one class I'm in. I'm not sure what that would do to my schedule since I really only have two years to finish school. I have a meeting with my advisor tomorrow and I'll talk with her about it then.

I got to Skype with Matt on Saturday night for an hour. It was a nice easy conversation and it made my world just right. I miss him a lot, but it's easier to handle when I get to see his face and have those lazy talks.

I haven't felt like cooking much for the past week - ever since Mike and Jenn were here and I was too sick to make them enchilada's. It's kind of depressing not to be able to cook for your friends. The only plans I have for dinner this week are skillet lasagne and burgers. I guess the week will look something like this:

February 27 - March 4, 2012

• Monday - Ranch burgers with fries and carrots.
• Tuesday - I'll be in class so I have no idea what they're eating.
• Wednesday - Skillet lasagne with garlic bread while Lindsay and I watch the season premier of Psych!
• Thursday - Canned soup, since Rob will be at darts and Lindsay and I aren't pickey.
• Friday - Sunday - maybe I'll have some inspiration by then.

In the meantime, I have to buy small amounts of tropical fruit and some random leafy green veggies to feed the hermit crabs we bought Lindsay over the weekend.

Margaritaville

Again, it’s been a while.  I’m not sure I’ll ever get back into blogging the way I used to.  I think part of it is that I feel like I have to post something of substantial length, well written, and well thought out.  I just don’t have it in me anymore to put all that energy into a blog post.  I have papers to write, I have presentations/papers on treatment to put together, I have to figure out how to understand all the reading I have every week because there’s a STATE BOARD (and maybe National board too?) in my future and it’s all freaking me out.

Hmmm, that was kind of therapeutic.  I guess that’s my major stressor right there.  I don’t test well.  Well, crap!

Anyhoo….  Yesterday Jake called me and asked if I’d meet him at Zquila (a Mexican place near my house that has AMAZING margs and cheap happy hour food) for a drink after work.  It’s kind of weird that I’m meeting my son for a drink.  I still think he should be 11.  He was a pretty neat 11 year old; he’s a pretty neat 21 year old too.  I had a great time; we talked for an hour and a half about job searches and school, his brother and sister, tattoo’s and piercings…  everything.  He bought me a shot of something called a Zombie Brain?  Yuck.

If he hadn’t changed his mind and separated from the Navy DEP, he’d be in boot camp right now.  Sobering thought.  I’m so glad he isn’t.

As always, February is made interesting by Michael’s birthday.  It’s tomorrow and he would have been 23.  It’s not sad anymore.  He exists in our lives – even Lindsay talks about him sometimes, she even put him in her French assignment about her family.  The boys did that too when they were growing up.  Michael is with us.

I called Matt last night.  He got an iPhone because it has a really cool app that will give him a local number so he can make and receive free calls and texts from the States.  It was good to hear his voice and even about the boredom associated with painting fans.  Yeah, I don’t know, I didn’t ask.