Remember how I said
I didn't have the time to put up something well written? Yeah.
I read an article a
few mornings ago where a SAHM related an exhausting average day with her 10
month old and toddler. While I can
appreciate the crazy schedule and constant activity associated with the life of
a SAHM since I was one years ago, I
think I'm living a much more complicated circus now.
An average morning
begins slowly when I wake up to my alarm
at 6, which I will beat on to make it shut up every seven minutes until about
6:30, when I realize that I'm not actually getting any sleep and I really need
to get my 13 year old daughter out of bed and make some coffee. I stumble out of my bedroom and down the
hall, dodging the five cats, four of our own and one foster, that have decided
they MUST be fed this very moment. I
call out my daughter's name from her doorway a couple of times and when she
doesn't move, I go in to tickle her feet and get her attention. Some mornings she moans and moves as if she's
getting up, and others she lifts a had out from under the covers and gives me
all five fingers - she wants five more minutes, but you can see how I might
think she's flipped me the bird five times over… she's 13 after all.
I stumble back into
the kitchen and start the coffee, tip over more cats on my way into my bathroom
to feed the kitten and then flop back down into my bed. Now so far I've managed to function without
putting on my glasses, but if I intend to make Lindsay get up in two more
minutes, I might just need to see. I put
on my glasses, pick up my phone and check to see how many emails my boss has
sent me since he got to the office at 5 that morning. I swear at the incoming to-do list from work,
I head back down the hall to drag Lindsay out of bed and grab a cup of coffee,
whether it's finished brewing or not.
While Lindsay gets dressed, I go over the emails from work some more,
check my personal email, hit facebook for a few minutes, then head for the
kitchen to make something for my daughter to eat in the car on the way to
school. My kids have school of choiced
for several years and I've just gotten used to driving, and it's not really
that far. I holler for her to get
moving, spend five minutes digging around so she can have money for lunch, and
we finally get out the door at about 7:20 most mornings. Before we leave, I remember the foster dog is
still in his crate so I put him outside so he can do his business while I'm
gone. The drive to school is about 8
minutes if we don't get stuck behind some idiot checking his text messages in
our neighborhood and we don't get stuck at the light that is only red for 90
seconds but seems to go on for 10 minutes.
All in all, it takes me about 20 minutes to make the school run and I'm
back home to finish getting ready for my day because I'm still in pj's and have
only had time to run a brush through my hair.
Yes, Rob is home. He generally
helps get Lindsay out of bed if she's feeling particularly grouchy and then he
jumps in the shower and leaves for work while I'm making the school run.
By 8:10 I'm fairly
presentable, unless I didn't take a shower the night before and then I don't
become presentable until around 8:30, at which time I should be nearly ready to
walk out the door. I throw some almonds,
dried cranberries, granola bars and maybe some cheese in my bag, gather
chargers for my nook tablet, laptop and cell phone and run out the door -
usually coming back in because I forgot to feed the adult cats and I nearly
left the dog outside all day and he'd like to eat too. So at 8:42 I pull out of the driveway and
start munching on the apple I dropped in my bag at the last minute. I pull into work right at 9am.
My morning can be
crazy-busy or so slow that I'm in tears by my lunch hour. This particular morning I didn't have to go
straight to work, but had an errand to run - the DMV. I have to pick up motor vehicle reports for
our CDL drivers and I hate coming to this place - they always request just one
more piece of paper that I don't have, something they neglected to put on their
website or tell me when I called to double check. But this morning is different, I am sent
straight to the cashier and she is in a good mood. She takes forever to fill out her end of the
paperwork, but I could care less and I get out of there in 45 minutes with
MVR's for five employees; I'll have to come back next week to get the other
four, but last week I left with nothing so I figure I scored. I make it to work today at around 10 and am
buried until noon when I throw aside everything and munch on my lunch. This afternoon was busy again and any hopes
of getting more reading done for school are dashed. Did I mention that I'm a graduate
student? Right now I have class once a
week but this summer I'll have one class in Denver on Wednesday night, one in
Loveland on Thursday night, and one online.
When I get off work at 4pm, I head over to my second job - yep, I have
just started working as the bookkeeper for a counseling firm so they will let
me do my practicum at their site this summer.
I work there for two hours and then I pick up my daughter at soccer
practice on my way home. Her dad got off
early so he could drop her off and has already left to play darts with his
league. That's what I need to do, join a
club that meets once a week at a bar and have me some fun. Were this a school night, I'd get off work,
drive across town to pick up Lindsay, drop her off at soccer and stop somewhere to
pick up dinner. Class starts at six and
ends at nine. My husband picks Lindsay up
from soccer practice those nights and I have tried to have an easy recipe ready
or have something ready to be heated in the refrigerator for their dinner, but
mine comes from a fast food restaurant or a convenience store. When I get home it's around 9:30pm and I let
the foster dog out to go potty, smoke a cigarette, and then read or do homework
until my eyes cross. I've been an
insomniac lately and sometimes can't get to sleep until 2am, but I normally get
six and a half hours of sleep.
The days that are
lighter, I can actually write a paper or post in the online portion of my
classes; I can create meal plans and try to make the time to shop for those
plans; I run to the grocery store for items forgotten or changes in plans; I
pay bills and write quick emails to my son who's stationed in Japan with the
Navy; sometimes I even invite my oldest son and his girlfriend over for
dinner. There's little time for personal
pursuits, and sometimes I just let the class reading go so I can enjoy a novel.
I'm not saying that
SAHM's don't have a lot going on - they do - but sometimes it seems like they
want to shove it in the faces of those of us with jobs that they're not only
doing something great and wonderful (staying with their children to raise and nurture
them) but they're lives are much crazier than working mom's. It isn't a competition. I think that they're probably luckier than I
am in that they can enjoy their children more than I get to, and their lives
are fuller, more complete. I used to
stay home with my kids but then we needed more income and I would have killed
to have an adult conversation every day.
Our lives changed and I couldn't give my daughter the wonderful gift I
gave my boys - I couldn't stay home with her every day.
