- It's 1:30 in the morning and I'm exhausted but I cannot sleep. I suffer from insomnia quite a bit. The morning after brings headaches, neck and back pain, more exhaustion I can't relieve, and the inability to hold a coherent conversation with my 9 year old. Pretty pathetic, huh? I've been sitting at my desk reading blogs and watching videos - The Breakfast Club and Speed (so far, but there may be more). Thank heavens I don't have to work on Mondays.
- I began my lovely evening reading a few of the blogs I frequent but decided to hit on a few that I only read occasionally for various reasons. I visited Loralee's Looney Tunes and got stuck on it for hours. I began reading her several months ago because she, like me, is a SIDS parent and I feel a bond with her, even though she has no idea who I am. Anyway, she recently had a knock-off 'post-secret' like blog post where people posted their secrets anonymously. I think it was amazing, though at least a quarter of the posts were likely TOTAL BS. But, whatever trips your trigger. If people want to lie anonymously on someone else's blog then they must need the attention. So go check some of this stuff out, the ones that sound 'real' are intriguing.
- I'm going to be a slacker this week. I don't think I'll be getting a decent meal plan together anytime soon. Maybe the kids will starve. It's more likely that they will scrounge something like canned soup or hot dogs and macaroni and cheese though.
- Some debt is coming back to haunt me. Last year we found ourselves with some very tough decisions to make due to a decrease in our income and other factors: pay the credit card bills or buy food and health insurance for the kids. Obviously my children were fed and had insurance, since you continue to hear about them, and the credit card companies didn't get paid. Now, one of them - so far - wants their money, and they want it now. You get the idea.
- Due to the above, I may not be attending Regis in the fall and I will have to start repaying my student loans. Another $400 a month out of our already-tight budget? I think not. I still haven't decided what I'm going to do, but I may end up being a college drop-out with only ten classes left. It makes me sad.
- Being wiped out, as I am now, makes you admit to things that may not belong on a blog.
- I'm looking for scholarships designed to help seniors finish their last year in college when their student loans have run out. Hint, hint!
- While I've been mercifully free of headaches for a couple of days, I found out today that one of the moms I met at soccer is suffering from the same horrible, debilitating headaches. She's even taken the same drugs as I have, with no better luck. I long to be able to solve it for her or offer her helpful advice because I know her pain. Unfortunately, that isn't the case.
- My plan for tomorrow was to do laundry all morning, clean out my pantry, clean the living room, attached office and dining room including the ever-important vacuuming. I hope I get some of it done.
- Today I told someone about my Nissan Altima. We were just chatting and I was explaining why I bought a new car. All of the Altima's problems, faults and necessary repairs were confessed along with how much I wanted to sell it for - and then they told me that they might want to buy it?! I told them they didn't want it. Looking out for my own interests? Uh, NOT! If I keep this up, I'll never sell the damn thing.
- Tomorrow, um... I guess it's well into July 14th. Today is my 17th wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, we're broke and I don't even have anything amazing to make for a nice dinner here at home. I'm bummed about this.
- We've been looking for a grill since last summer when we had to retire our old one due to leaks in the connections. We haven't bought one yet because it seems like an extravagant expense. Yesterday, someone gave us a used grill - gave, as in, for free. It's so nice to know that there are genuinely kind people out there.
- Lindsay and I went to the farmers market on Sunday and bought the bag-o-veggies for $10 again. We picked out zucchini, again, asparagus, a red onion, red and white potatoes, turnips, broccoli and basil. I cut and froze the asparagus and basil. I had meant to use a Martha Stewart tip and chop the basil before putting it into ice cube trays filled with water and then freeze them but I totally spaced it out. For the record, I hate Martha Stewart. I may go into that more in depth someday.
- Apparently, I have a new way to spend my nights. I can't sleep so I watch movies until I'm bored out of my mind but can't sleep and instead I clean! My mother would be so proud. When I was younger, I would clean when I was angry. My mother figured this out and would occasionally make me outraged; it was the only way my house ever got really clean. Now that I'm in my mid thirties, anger no longer inspires me to clean my messy house. My subconscious must have decided to find a new route to the clean living room. Bore her out of her mind! Then she must clean!
- It's a few minutes shy of 4 in the morning and my eyelids are starting to get a little heavy. I've put the movie Tremors on and am starting to succumb to its sleep-aid effect.
- May you have many good nights' sleep and never suffer from insomnia - Good night. Or is it morning...
Monday, July 14, 2008
Ramblings of an Insomniac
This is, quite literally, just a mess of mostly-unrelated topics with massive punctuation overuse, too many adjectives, meaningless ideas and a total and utter disregard for your time - READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
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I am sorry to hear of your money problems. I know everyone says this, but we have been there and I know exactly how you feel. We used to buy our bread at the Butternut store. It was day old bread and usually 4 loaves for $1. We could freeze it and it was just as good when we unthawed it later. You would think bread would get soggy, but it never did. We had our calculator out at the store and couldn’t spend over a certain amount on groceries. Many times, I had to put something back because we couldn’t afford it.
ReplyDeleteI think you are doing well to have three children in various sporting activities. We could have never afforded that. The cleats alone are a fortune. Also, I know you REALLY don’t want to hear this, but I don’t know how we afforded cigarettes. That was back when they were only $2 a pack. I hear they are like $3 a pack now. We did though. Sometimes we would borrow from our son and then pay him back, but we never went without the cigs.
You will get through this. Many people around me have filed bankruptcy. That may become a serious option for you and it may help you out in a tremendous way in the long run. It’s something to think about.
I'm glad you are honest. I think some blogs (I have one listed on my sidebar) are all sugar and rainbows. Life's not that way.
Here, here on the last comment about the honesty of this post. I am all about that.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the linky love, sweets. I am always glad to get to know a SIDS parent (I know a lot of mom's with loss but few dealing with SIDS) I'm glad that you liked my blog. I'm adding you to my feed.(Although forgive me if I don't comment a lot. I have had to cut WAY back on my computer time, darn it.)
Not that I have been called by the credit card people yet but a very good friend of mine had/has problems. Just stop answering the phone. They will give up and send it to collections. Her credit debt has been reduced by 50-75%. Of course it does f*ck your credit rating. Just don't plan on buying a car or house for the next 10 years! Have you thought of gardening? I freeze or can a lot to hopefully last the winter. We just picked wild black raspberries that are going to get frozen for winter. We also buy in bulk. I buy organic beans and lentils in bulk. It's cheaper in the long run plus healthier and they don't go bad. Also you can raise cold weather plants indoors over the winter. I plan on raising lettuce because I consider it a staple. I feel for you and your situation. I've been there and some how we've always worked for it. It's probably going to happen again for us but will deal with it! You just have to do the best that you can and realize that things will get better. I hate that you have to give up college though but I understand why! Depending upon your loan you maybe able to defer it. We did for my husband's for 2 years because of economic hardship. Hope you get some sleep. I used to have insomnia and totally understand how you feel! At least you aren't crying hysterically like I used to!
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