Migraine - From the Bad to the Good

Wow - I'm all bad news, all the time.

I'll have to work on posting some of the good things. As soon as I start noticing them, I'll start posting them, k?

I woke up with a headache and soon realized it was a migraine. I hadn't had one in about a month so I was surprised. I was also in denial so I pulled a pillow over my head, fell back to sleep, and overslept by an hour.

When I got to work, on time (pat on the back), I took a Maxalt and you know what? It worked! My neck aches but the blinding pain is gone and my head just feels like it's stuffed with cotton.

Oh, another good thing - I didn't hit anything with my car as I drove to work in a haze of pain this morning.

I'm about as giddy as is possible at the moment. May all your medications work well for you today...

Riots on the Home-Front

Today there was kicking and crying at my house. You could almost call that an accomplishment since it's normally worse than that, except today it made me downright angry.

Why can't they be nice to each other? Why is that so difficult? I ask them but they never have anything to say except, "Well if he/she didn't...."

For some reason, the boys believe that it is their God given right to torture their sister with words. Lindsay, on the other hand, believes that she has license to kick, hit, throw things, and scream bloody murder.

Is it sibling rivalry? Is it that she thinks she's the princess?

I don't know. Someday it will be quiet in our home, but they will be all grown up and it will feel empty.

Why can't they just love each other, the big jerks?

Friends Leave

So I'm at work and my cell phone rings. Not uncommon, the kids call all the time during the day, as do those people who want all my paycheck - are those two the same thing?

Anyway, the caller ID says that it's a friend of mine from from college. She's lived in Denver for the past three years and I only see her once a year but we call about every two months to catch up on eachother's lives.

She left a message saying that she's moving to California in a few weeks and wanted to catch up before she did. I don't know why that makes me so sad, but it does. I've know for a couple of years that her dream job lies in LA and that she just can't pursue it here in Colorado.

I'll talk to her tonight and wish her well. I hope that her life turns out great but I'm just so sad that she's leaving.

The Case Of The Bad Milk

Safeway is getting on my nerves. They are one of six large chain grocery stores in town (if you count Super Wal-Mart and the just opened Super Target - with whom I'm falling in love, by the way).

I've been a loyal Safeway shopper for 12 years now, even when their prices seem to be the highest in town and they can't decide how they want the groceries arranged and in which aisle they belong. I complain to my favorite employees, there are three of them, that I just can't understand why the management wants to upset their loyal customers with their insane midnight store rearranging, removing some of the loyal customer discounts, and even flip-flopping the way they handle buy-one-get-one sales. I've written a comment card exactly once, so in part, this is my bad.

Today I drove to Safeway to return a gallon of milk that I had just opened. When I unscrewed the cap I nearly fell over. The milk doesn't expire until tomorrow and I only bought it a few days ago. Again, chalk one up to my bad for not digging in the back for one who's expiration date was farther out. So I take the milk to the customer service counter and say it's bad and that I have more shopping to do. I had to buy ice cream - priorities you know.

The assistant manager asks me if I'd bought two gallons originally and I say yes. This means that I only paid $3.50 for the gallon and she proceeds to refund that price. I told her that I was going to buy another gallon to replace this one and she said that was fine. I asked if I'd have to pay the regular price since I wasn't buying two. She said yes.

Seriously?

"Um, that sucks," I said to her, "since I'm just replacing this one."

"Yeah."

That's what she said. As if paying to replace an unexpired bad gallon of milk was just a normal business practice.

I asked if she could just exchange it. With a (sticky) sweet smile on her face, she agreed that I could do it that way if I wanted to and she would keep the bad gallon with her.

Sigh...

What is wrong with these people!?

In the past when I've replaced a bad gallon, this very assistant manager has asked me if I left it out in the car after I bought it. As in, did you ruin it yourself? Now why in the hell would I do that?

Lousy customer service.

I've really got to start shopping at King Soopers more.

Oh, yeah! And SUPER TARGET!

As a side note - I was asked no less that 8 times if I needed help finding anything when I was in Super Target yesterday!

Look Up Pathetic In The Dictionary...

You'll find my picture there.

I have some serious 'oh, woe is me' attitude going on. I hate it when that happens because I'm a complete wreck and I'm pathetic. I've decided to accept that my neighbor is going to move. She's not only going to move, but she's going to leave me behind! Oh, wait. That's what moving is, right? Yeah… That's how pathetic I am.

My neighbor hasn't even found out how much she can spend on a house, let alone bought one, and I'm dreading the day she leaves. Sigh…

I hate change. I've always hated it because I can't remember a single change that hasn't had something totally awful and horrible associated with it. Yes, I do have a flare for the dramatic. But, change sucks. So when I think of one of my nearest and dearest friends moving across town (eye roll), it makes me nuts. You see, we don't go out and do things together. We're neighbors that are closer than most but not go-out-and-do-things kind of neighbors.

(We are sit-on-the-porch-and-drink neighbors. We email almost every day and talk, getting drunk - or nearly - about once every six weeks or so. Maybe. But if she moves, that's the end of that.)

Although, a month or so ago, she and her boyfriend called me from a bar and begged us to meet them for a few drinks – and we went – and we suffered through that ultimate fighting pay-per-view at the bar. (another eye roll!)

I'm just so down on everything right now that some distant event has the power to make tears leap into my eyes, my breath catches behind the lump building in my throat, and my world feels for a moment like it might crash around my shoulders. I'm a mess.

Matt's First Driving Confrontation

This evening I took Matt driving. He got his learners' permit on Monday and this was his second time out.

We own a stick shift and my theory has always been that when you first learn to drive, it should been on a manual. I've been careful about only driving when the traffic is light, starting out in empty parking lots and driving around our neighborhood. But this evening we noticed that the driveway between the new shopping center and the parking lot we've been using had been opened. I decided we'd start out in the parking lot of the new shopping center, Front Range Village, and then drive into our neighborhood. It adds some distance and there was zero traffic.

Matt was slow to get moving; he was having difficulty with the transition between stop and go... if you've driven a stick shift, you know what I'm talking about. It took him a few times to get moving but he finally made it and we came up to a stop sign. There was a security truck for the Front Range Village just sitting at the intersection and I realized that he'd been sitting there for several minutes watching us - probably since we'd changed drivers. Matt had a few more false starts and the truck pulled up next to us, his drivers' window next to ours, and asked if there was a problem. I told him, from the passengers seat, that we were having a driving lesson and that we were headed out of the parking lot. Remember, there is not another moving car or person within 1,000 feet of us and no parked cars within 500 feet. We were obviously headed out of the center via a back road. The 'gentleman' (and I use that term loosely) said that it was private property and that if he (Matt) needed driving lessons, he should take drivers' education. I said again that we were leaving and he just stared at us. I said, "Thank you, and goodbye," smiling a sweet smile and said we were on our way. I believe he was trying to get me out of the passengers seat and into the drivers seat so that we would leave as soon as possible... I didn't. I just sat and stared at him until he pulled away. When Matt got moving again, the security truck turned around and followed us, to make sure we were leaving.

I'll be sure to shop there every damn day for the next month, buying a loaf of bread at the new Super Target, a screw at the new Lowe's, and let Matt drive home every damn day. I'll be sure to leave the crowded parking area, park in an empty area, make a huge deal of changing drivers, hoping attract the attention of the security, and then slowly pulling out to get their attention. When the library opens, we'll be sure to annoy the security even more.

Maybe I made a bad choice by choosing 'private' property, maybe we should have shopped there first, maybe we should have stuck to our neighborhood. But maybe the condescending attitude of a rent-a-cop was unnecessary and our ability to annoy them - legally - has been confirmed.

Yeah, I'll shop there. And YES, I'll enjoy the potential confrontation.

BlogHer

Oh, have MERCY! I've been reading about BlogHer for months now and it never meant much to me because, well... My blog is a baby? Yeah, that's it. I had no idea what it was all about and I had no interest in meeting all of the mommy bloggers out there because I wasn't one of them.

NOT!

I may not be popular, I may not have but a handfull of readers and not even begin to understand Technorati ratings and all that stuff, but I read many of the women who are at BlogHer right now.

I wanna be part of it all!

Ramblings of an Insomniac

This is, quite literally, just a mess of mostly-unrelated topics with massive punctuation overuse, too many adjectives, meaningless ideas and a total and utter disregard for your time - READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

• It's 1:30 in the morning and I'm exhausted but I cannot sleep. I suffer from insomnia quite a bit. The morning after brings headaches, neck and back pain, more exhaustion I can't relieve, and the inability to hold a coherent conversation with my 9 year old. Pretty pathetic, huh? I've been sitting at my desk reading blogs and watching videos - The Breakfast Club and Speed (so far, but there may be more). Thank heavens I don't have to work on Mondays.
• I began my lovely evening reading a few of the blogs I frequent but decided to hit on a few that I only read occasionally for various reasons. I visited Loralee's Looney Tunes and got stuck on it for hours. I began reading her several months ago because she, like me, is a SIDS parent and I feel a bond with her, even though she has no idea who I am. Anyway, she recently had a knock-off 'post-secret' like blog post where people posted their secrets anonymously. I think it was amazing, though at least a quarter of the posts were likely TOTAL BS. But, whatever trips your trigger. If people want to lie anonymously on someone else's blog then they must need the attention. So go check some of this stuff out, the ones that sound 'real' are intriguing.
• I'm going to be a slacker this week. I don't think I'll be getting a decent meal plan together anytime soon. Maybe the kids will starve. It's more likely that they will scrounge something like canned soup or hot dogs and macaroni and cheese though.
• Some debt is coming back to haunt me. Last year we found ourselves with some very tough decisions to make due to a decrease in our income and other factors: pay the credit card bills or buy food and health insurance for the kids. Obviously my children were fed and had insurance, since you continue to hear about them, and the credit card companies didn't get paid. Now, one of them - so far - wants their money, and they want it now. You get the idea.
• Due to the above, I may not be attending Regis in the fall and I will have to start repaying my student loans. Another $400 a month out of our already-tight budget? I think not. I still haven't decided what I'm going to do, but I may end up being a college drop-out with only ten classes left. It makes me sad.
• Being wiped out, as I am now, makes you admit to things that may not belong on a blog.
• I'm looking for scholarships designed to help seniors finish their last year in college when their student loans have run out. Hint, hint!
• While I've been mercifully free of headaches for a couple of days, I found out today that one of the moms I met at soccer is suffering from the same horrible, debilitating headaches. She's even taken the same drugs as I have, with no better luck. I long to be able to solve it for her or offer her helpful advice because I know her pain. Unfortunately, that isn't the case.
• My plan for tomorrow was to do laundry all morning, clean out my pantry, clean the living room, attached office and dining room including the ever-important vacuuming. I hope I get some of it done.
• Today I told someone about my Nissan Altima. We were just chatting and I was explaining why I bought a new car. All of the Altima's problems, faults and necessary repairs were confessed along with how much I wanted to sell it for - and then they told me that they might want to buy it?! I told them they didn't want it. Looking out for my own interests? Uh, NOT! If I keep this up, I'll never sell the damn thing.
• Tomorrow, um... I guess it's well into July 14th. Today is my 17th wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, we're broke and I don't even have anything amazing to make for a nice dinner here at home. I'm bummed about this.
• We've been looking for a grill since last summer when we had to retire our old one due to leaks in the connections. We haven't bought one yet because it seems like an extravagant expense. Yesterday, someone gave us a used grill - gave, as in, for free. It's so nice to know that there are genuinely kind people out there.
• Lindsay and I went to the farmers market on Sunday and bought the bag-o-veggies for $10 again. We picked out zucchini, again, asparagus, a red onion, red and white potatoes, turnips, broccoli and basil. I cut and froze the asparagus and basil. I had meant to use a Martha Stewart tip and chop the basil before putting it into ice cube trays filled with water and then freeze them but I totally spaced it out. For the record, I hate Martha Stewart. I may go into that more in depth someday.
• Apparently, I have a new way to spend my nights. I can't sleep so I watch movies until I'm bored out of my mind but can't sleep and instead I clean! My mother would be so proud. When I was younger, I would clean when I was angry. My mother figured this out and would occasionally make me outraged; it was the only way my house ever got really clean. Now that I'm in my mid thirties, anger no longer inspires me to clean my messy house. My subconscious must have decided to find a new route to the clean living room. Bore her out of her mind! Then she must clean!
• It's a few minutes shy of 4 in the morning and my eyelids are starting to get a little heavy. I've put the movie Tremors on and am starting to succumb to its sleep-aid effect.
• May you have many good nights' sleep and never suffer from insomnia - Good night. Or is it morning...

Without Four-Letter Words

I found a quote on Tami's site that inspired me. Insults with class! There is a whole page of them. Go check it out... go, do it and be quick about it. Then come back... please?

Worth it, wasn't it? I thought so.

There's one that made me think of myself... "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

Maybe that's what I should have named my site...'Delusions of Adequacy" I'll have to consider changing my blog name. NOT! But seriously, I dream of being simply adequate. Seems like I should be aiming higher but I'm spread so thin most of the time that I nearly always miss the mark.

Zucchini Pie

Tami was right. It is really difficult to get good pictures of food.

Tonight I made a zucchini pie to go with dinner. I found the recipe on Pillsbury's website. It's similar to the recipe I had a couple of years ago. I played with it and came up with something pretty yummy. Of course, I forgot to take pictures before I sliced it and ate some of it.

It was pretty good. You should try it.

Sluggish

I added a new widget to my side bar. It shows the books you've read, are reading or plan to read. So far I've only added what is in my book bag - the bag I take to work with me and that's almost always near my desk when I'm home. This way I don't lose anything - or at least not easily!

I've owned the blogging book for months and I keep it in my bag to dig out when I'm feeling lost at the computer and for when I'm bored out of my mind at work. It will probably stay on the list for a while. The Amber Chronicles was supposed to be done by the end of May - right. I've only finished one of the ten books it contains. I'll have to start working on that. Sadly, I've read Inca Gold and Digital Fortress already. I have a Janet Evanovich book on my nightstand but it's been there for weeks and I haven't picked it up. I'll have to figure out what it is, add it and then actually read it.

I haven't felt well since last Thursday so I've been a big lazy slug. I've watched a ton of movies and recorded television shows on the DVR. I think I'm ready to go back to work though. I need to do something with my sorry self. I didn't even spend time working on our dinner plan for this week, even though D and I went to the store yesterday. I've planned around the food I bought rather than the other way around.

Meal Plan - July 7 - 13

• Monday - Beef and Broccoli with rice. We were going to have this last week - I think - but never did.
• Tuesday - Green Chili Smothered Chicken and spanish rice.
• Wednesday - Oven Baked Chicken and Zucchini Casserole.
• Thursday - Slop. This a complicated mix of ground beef and cream of mushroom soup over rice or noodles. Don't knock it - my kids love it!
• Friday - Veggie Beef Soup in the crock-pot.
• Saturday - Burritos.
• Sunday - Parmesan Chicken Fingers and Salad.

The hubby hates soup so he'll have to find something different on Friday. I know, I know... it's not nice to make food he won't eat, but there are things I just really want that he hates. I have to do that sometimes. Normally he would be out of the house when I'd make something he won't eat, like D and I were on Sunday when the hubby made the fish he caught on Saturday. I really don't like trout.

I've obsessed for a few days about the Zucchini Casserole recipe that I seem to have lost. I can't find it anywhere, not in my email, my document folders, printed cookbooks, online - it's GONE! I obsessed until I found something different but satisfying. It's called Zucchini with Jalapeno Monterey Jack. Cut one zucchini in 1/4 inch slices and pan fry in a tiny bit of butter until done. Layer in a glass, microwave safe dish alternating with thin slices of pepper jack cheese. Microwave until cheese is bubbly. That's it. Use less cheese or plain Monterey Jack if you need to reduce the spiciness. I had some for lunch today - it was yummy.

Farmers Market

Matt and I stopped by the Farmers Market today right before they closed. We filled a big bag with veggies for $10. It's a pretty good deal. We bought beets, turnips, an onion ('cause I only needed one), zucchini, yellow squash, peas, green beans, carrots and cucumbers. The bag probably weighed 20 pounds. Too bad we don't eat cooked greens or we'd have lots more for our $10.

I happend to have some mangos and oranges on the counter when I took this picture - they didn't come from our local growers. :)

I'm excited to make a zucchini bake recipe I have. It's so decadent. It's got sliced or julienned zucchini, pepper jack cheese, eggs and bread crumbs in it. It is sooooo good. I'll have to find the recipe and post it. I think I got it from Food Network.

Tonight we are not making dinner. The hubby went fishing last night and cooked up his fish while D and I were out running errands, Matt got a sandwich from the Deli at Safeway, and I got a panini from the Spicy Pickle - don't ask.

I haven't come up with a plan for this weeks meals yet - I'm thinking there are going to be simple and even non-existent this week because Lindsay is gone, Jake works and spends time with The Girlfriend, and Matt has a friend from California in town this week. I could live on soup and sandwiches or salads.

Our 4th

I have ideas for blog posts all of the time but never seem to be able to get them written down anymore. I'm working on a post about my brothers, though it's only a few sentences so far. I've thought about posting about health frustrations I'm experiencing right now, but thinking about it is draining. So I thought I'd just summarize our holiday.

I was supposed to meet my parents for breakfast this morning at 8am but I hit snooze on my alarm once and then turned it off ten minutes later. I didn't even think about why it was going off the second time, I just wanted it to shut up! An hour and twenty minutes later, my mother called from the restaurant to ask when we'd be there. It was 8:02. I told her we'd be there as soon as we could, but a few minutes later she called back and said that we'd just skip it because they'd been seated for almost 15 minutes. I felt bad; I've never blown off a planned get-together with my parents.

Last night was busy. Lindsay and I had gone to the grocery store at 10 o'clock at night for the ingredients to a salad I made for our picnic today. Jake and Matt were at a computer gaming place and didn't get home until late - almost 12:30 in the morning. I stayed up to make sure they got home okay and then wasn't able to sleep until nearly 2 in the morning. It's no wonder we didn't get up on time. So this morning, with several hours to waste before heading to Greeley at 3:30, Lindsay and I made another trip to the grocery store. This time for the ingredients to a coleslaw recipe I'd found that was simple. I ended up taking a marinated antipasto salad - marinated mushrooms, mozzarella balls, cucumbers, olives, red bell pepper, garlic, etc. - blue cheese coleslaw (sounds weird, tastes pretty good), crackers and cheese, a fruit tray, and brie and french bread. I was really into food prep this morning. I did a load of laundry - which dried on the line in nearly 20 minutes because it was so damn hot here - 100-degrees at 5pm - and got Lindsay packed for her week stay in Greeley with her cousin and the hubby's Aunt.

The picnic was small, only the hubby's grandparents, two aunts, two uncles and my FIL. Because everyone (apparently) thought like I did, there was way too much food. We had a good time, relaxing and talking. There was bug spray involved because the mosquito's were insane. And the girls, Lindsay and her cousin, played and had lots of fun. Jake wasn't able to come because he worked two three-hour shifts today. So at eight o'clock tonight, I gathered everyone up and made them say their good-bye's. On our way back into Fort Collins, we dropped Matt off at a friend's house and he is staying the night. Jake was home when we got back and complaining that he's home with his parents on Friday, the 4th of July. I guess that makes him friendless or boring or something equally insane. The Girlfriend is up in Estes Park with her family, the best friend is camping up in Red Feather (in the mountains) with his family, and all of his other friends had plans that include partying. Jake isn't a big party guy, or at least he isn't yet. I, on the other hand, am okay with that.

So here I sit, at nearly midnight, typing the boring tale of our day... And I think I made one of my friends angry with me tonight - what a smashing day!