Sometimes Parenting Sucks

We had dinner with Matt and his girlfriend on Wednesday night and then didn't see or hear from him until today... and then the day was full of disappointment.  We didn't hear from Matt all morning, but we went about our business anyway, with a short trip to the grocery store for buns and the gas station to fill up Rob's car.  This visit has had a lot of "go about your business" time.  Late this afternoon when he came for a couple of hours to chat with us and regroup for an evening with his friends.  He promised his sister he would spend time with her tomorrow and then he left.  A few hours later, he called and cancelled.  According to Lindsay, he has broken every promise he's made to her since he got here nearly two weeks ago.  His dad, Lindsay, Jake and I have gotten a token amount of time with him, with the bulk going to the girlfriend and his high school friends.

I know that kids grow up and spend less and less time with their families.  I know it's our job as parents to support him in any way we can while he is serving, and I do not begrudge him that.  I do believe that if you make a promise to your 15 year old sister who loves you even when you crush her heart, you are a jerk.  There, I said it.  My son is behaving like a selfish child and his lack of planning should not impact his sister this way.  
Sometimes parenting sucks, and tonight I have cried for hours because my little girl is in pain.  I have held her and rocked her, letting her vent about the injustice she feels, and offered gentle agreement while I cried with her.  I offered tissues and then helped her find her cell phone and offered her Nook so she could find some distractions.  But I can't take the pain away, I can't make it stop hurting.
  
Sometimes parenting sucks because sometimes you wonder what happened to the boy you raised and what you might have done to make him distance himself from his family.  You wonder if, instead of doing something really wrong, he's just spreading the damn wings everybody is always talking about and we've just offered the perfect launchpad for his independence.

Sometimes parenting sucks because you hear how disappointed your oldest son is about how you don't come to visit him or spend time with him where he lives.  You wonder if it's worth explaining how difficult it is to buy gas to go to work or pay the bills and buy groceries, and how much you struggle.  You worry about making him worry because you don't want to make him feel guilty about anything.    

And finally, sometimes parenting sucks because you wonder when you will be able to stop worrying about them for just long enough to feel like a real person with a life of her own.  You wonder if there will ever be a time when you can be selfish again, or if this is a permanent effect of having children, and if so, might they all just get together and decide to let their mom and dad have a worry-free day once every decade or so?