Fuck this noise!

6/30/2014 - Afternoon

It is a sad day when you realize you'd rather be at work than at home.  

My teen daughters behavior and my sons visit home have me jumping out of my skin and feeling useless and unwanted.  I knew I would say those words in regards to my daughter some day, but my son?  Never saw it coming.  It's the girl, I know it's the girl.  Who wants to sleep at home when you can sleep at the girlfriends apartment?  Why eat dinner at home when you can go out to eat with the girlfriend?  Why hang out and talk with your parents when you can party and go to clubs with your friends and your girlfriend?  Well, now that you put it that way...  Yeah, fuck that noise!  

It's been a week and we've seen him for about three hours on his own.  Three hours.  If I wanted to see the girlfriend, I'd have coffee with her when he's out to sea.  I haven't had coffee with her, ever.  There's a reason.

And then there's Lindsay...  she takes and takes and takes.  And then she gets upset when she doesn't get one thing.  She might ask for a glass of water and I've just sat down.  I say no, she get's irate.  Fuck that noise.

I'm not a happy camper.  

7/1/2014 - Afternoon

So I may have been mistaken about being at work.  I don't want to be here.  Maybe I'm just not happy anywhere right now.  That presents a problem.  

I wish I could afford to see a therapist.  I simply cannot function at this high a level of stress for much longer.  I have such horrible reflux/heartburn and stomach aches that I wonder if I have an ulcer.  I was certain we had a leak in a water line at home today and I just about lost it waiting for Shawn to take a look at it after I called him and told him I was worried.  Turns out, I was right.  Yes, I worry about EVERYTHING.  Yes, I WORST CASE SCENARIO everything.  Sometimes I'm right.  Not that it helps to be right, as a matter of fact, it might make it worse since it reinforces the need to worry.