Overwhelmed - that covers it.

It's like God wants to see how far He can push me before I turn into a drunk and smoke like a train.  Well, that's how it feels.  Eff a duck!

Oh, how I wanted a cigarette last night.  Instead I reminded Rob that we can't change the course of what's happening right now and we should just put it in a box and walk away from it for the time being.  I'm sure the stress of this new challenge will have its day, but it doesn't have to take over every waking minute of our lives.  Seriously.  It is what it is.

The night before last I opened a bottle of wine.  I had one glass.  Tonight I will drink one or two glasses and remind myself that it will go bad if I don't drink it.  Seriously, if you leave wine in the 'fridge for a few weeks, it's icky.  I know, I know...  wine left for weeks?  It was an accident, I swear.  And this wine is sparkly (no, not like the vampire, ugh) so it has only a few days.  Like Friday might be too late!  It's because I use a cork that doesn't really fit...  yeah, I suck like that.

So for the next four days I get to relax at home and be less of an "adult" because Lindsay is gone.  She is participating in Relay for Life with her friends' family in Cheyenne.  Unfortunately, I don't have the whole time off to relax like she does.  I work all day today, tomorrow morning, and have a group tomorrow afternoon and Saturday morning.  At noon on Saturday, I'm going to turn into a slug on my couch and watch whatever I want for the rest of the weekend.  I may buy another bottle of wine, some white cheddar popcorn, and another e-cig.  

We'll see how far I let my sloth ways go...  it's not like I'm that lazy all the time.  I may say I'm going to be lazy, but more often than not I do laundry/wash dishes/clean up various messes/put together projects for one of my jobs/balance our budget or checkbook/do schoolwork/organize something....  there are rarely any real idle times.  And when there are?  I'm usually spending that time with my family so it's time well spent.

However I choose to handle the current struggles in my life, they will be appropriate for me.  So my house isn't perfectly clean (never will be, I'm over it), my laundry isn't caught up (I might have to move and start over for that to be the case), and my toilet needs a wipe down (I don't do it every day, sue me).  I do what I can, when I can.  And tonight I can have a glass of wine, eat leftovers for dinner, and watch mindless television with my husband.