Monday, January 31, 2011
SNOW DAY... Or should I say, It's-too-freaking-cold-to-keep-the-buses-running-Day!
On the bright side, I survived January, finished my last class at Grand Canyon University, finished my application to Colorado Christian University, and have a general feeling of contentment with the choices I have made for my life in the recent past.
I have been really busy these past several weeks with so many different. I've written a press release, guidelines for foster homes, reviewed a 501(c)(3) narrative, attended a board meeting, updated my resume, wrote my admissions essay and have the books at work nearly done. I should be able to send them to the accountant tomorrow - if I don't decide to take the day off work and stay home with the kids watching movies and drinking hot chocolate while staying warm under a blanket on the couch.
My husbands grandfather had surgery six days ago to remove his gallbladder. The day after the surgery he experienced severe chest pain and was transferred to the cardiac ward where he has been ever since. He is slightly disconnected with reality and confused due to the pain medications and the doctors haven't been able to give the family a prognosis. To complicate matters more, he broke his shoulder at the family Christmas party and didn't tell anyone because he was embarrassed... an 87 year old man, playing basket ball with his 11 year old great-granddaughter fell and broke his shoulder. I'm not sure what he was embarrassed about. He told his wife two weeks later when he couldn't stand the pain any longer. They had finally scheduled surgery on his shoulder when he had to have emergency surgery on his gallbladder. The situation doesn't look good. Losing grandparents isn't easy, yet it is a fact of life. I've lost both of mine - one six years ago, the other this last December. I haven't even begun to process my own loss; now I have to be there for my husband and children.
So life goes along at its own pace, throwing in the curves along with the easy rides. Maybe I will call in tomorrow and take a break.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Second Week of January Hell
Work, on the other hand, was awful. I hope I survive this month. I'm convinced that I will be actively looking for a job at the beginning of February. Sigh...
So my plan for this week is...
- Potato Soup with bacon, sharp cheddar and bread or toast.
- Taco Soup with cheesy tortillas.
- Broccoli Beef with rice and egg rolls.
- Stuffed pasta shells in marinara sauce with green beans.
- Chili with all the fixin's. (can make this in the slow cooker)
- Chicken (or Turkey) Divan with rice. (another slow cooker dinner)
- Pot Roast with baby bakers, carrots and biscuits. (slow cooker definite)
For breakfast this week we have cereal, oatmeal, whole grain apple muffins and mini pancakes. I wish I'd bought some microwave sausage, but the kids will survive. We've been getting out the door earlier this last week, a habit I hope we'll continue, so they even have time to eat breakfast at school if they didn't grab anything on the way out the door.
I'm prepared to pack Lindsay a lunch again this week. I did it every day for about two months at the beginning of the school year and then I just couldn't do it any more. I even tracked it every week on facebook. This week, at least a couple of days, she'll be having soup (chicken tortilla or leftover taco) with crackers and cheese or leftovers from either the turkey divan or broccoli beef along with some ramen noodles and a side of hot sauce. Strange child, she is. Everything's got to have hot sauce to go along.
Monday, January 3, 2011
January and Other Horrors
I have been struggling lately in my relationship... I guess the right way to phrase that is that we have been struggling. We're not communicating well, but we've never been great at it. I'm going to listen better, process what he says and then respond rather than react. I think I just made a New Year's resolution. I'm not comfortable with calling it that - I think I'll just make a vow to myself to try harder to be present in my relationship.
My relationship with the University I attend is a whole different animal. That relationship is over. Besides the administrative difficulties and instruction failures they have, the program I'm in is one of the worst to try to take online. If you only have to show your degree/transcripts to work in a field, I'm sure online is great. When you have to pass state boards and really know the subject inside and out... well, lets just say that I've spent almost $6,000 on classes and don't know much more than the day I started. I need to be in a classroom, talking with people, practicing what I'm learning, and really absorbing it. UoP is launching a program at the Westminster campus sometime in March and I'm going to transfer. It will be tough to drive down to Denver once a week, leaving at 4:30 and getting home around 11pm, but it will be worth it.
Like every January for the last 12 years, I'm about to head into hell at work. Closing up the books for the previous tax year always takes every last bit of energy I have. Hopefully I can ease into it; my boss is leaving for a conference on Wednesday afternoon and will be gone the rest of the week. I keep telling myself that this is the last January I'll have to do at this job. I'm crossing my fingers that I can get my act together and find another job before the end of the year. After all, I'm in a field I've been tired of for at least 10 years.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Cooking Makes Me Happy
I rarely decide what day I'm going to make something; it's too restrictive for me, especially when I forget to thaw something - I feel like I'm falling behind. The definite exception is soup. Rob doesn't like soup so during dart season, I plan soup dinners for Lindsay, Matt and myself on Thursdays when he plays.
So this is my list for the week of January 2 - 8, 2011.
- Green Chili Chicken Enchiladas
- Macaroni and Cheese Casserole (Kraft, tuna, mushroom soup and peas - simple and comforting)
- Rotisserie Chicken Tacos
- Puff Pastry Pizza with pepperoni, green peppers, mushrooms
- Crock Pot Lasagna with salad and french bread
- Crock Pot Beef Stroganoff with green beans and garlic bread
- Breakfast for Dinner - Waffles, eggs and bacon. The waffle maker I got for Christmas is amazing.
We have a lot of random leftovers from the holidays. There are three half-gallons of eggnog, orange juice, ice in the deep freeze (great for using to shake up a Cosmo), artichoke dip, rolls, and random half-packages of Schwans frozen food. I also have frozen turkey in the deep freeze but I don't want to use it all up right away. We had turkey pot pie with with garlic parmesan cream sauce. I'd post the recipe but I really do suck at writing them.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2010 in Review
- I had 8 posts here in 2010. What kind of awful is that?! When I first started this blog I loved writing here; I loved being able to put my thoughts somewhere. Now I tell myself I'm too busy or that I don't have the energy. I think the real reason is that I don't want to see how awful I felt about my life.
- I started fostering dogs in 2010 and the one we have right now had puppies on December 13. Seven were born, three have survived to date.
- I realized that, after years of not buying myself new clothes, I have one pair of jeans, one pair of casual work slacks and one pair of nice work slacks. I have several nice summer blouses but almost nothing for winter.
- I have two four-year old pajama pants, both of which have holes in them. I asked for new ones for Christmas but Rob was being an ass and decided I should have a bathrobe instead. Not the same thing and not nearly as useful.
- I received two broken Christmas presents. That pretty much sums up my year.
- I spent a Christmas gift card on groceries - just because.
- I discovered that lime vodka makes amazing Cosmopolitans.
- Three or four of these Cosmo's (drunk one right after the other) will make me go right to sleep. I think that makes them cheaper than most over the counter sleep aids.
- Letting your family know that you aren't happy doesn't generally yield any results. There needs to be yelling or something equally jarring in order to remove their heads from their various electronic devices.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Random Crap - Again
The transition will be so quick in fact, that his sister will move into his room when he leaves for RTC because he won't be back. We will see him (hopefully) eight weeks later for (again, hopefully) a few days after graduation and then he'll leave for A School in Florida.
How do military moms - parents - handle this transition? I think about this all the time now. I know that parents have been doing this for decades, I just wonder how I will handle it.
Monday, October 25, 2010
All the crap that life has shoveled my way...
- Spicy Shredded Beef with potato salad
- Enchilada Casserole and salad
- Easy Crock Pot Chicken with long grain and wild rice
- Macaroni and Cheese Casserole (comfort food at its best)
- Hot Brown with tomato and asparagus (first time I've ever made this)
- Chicken Piccata with salad and marinated mushroom/Havarti/artichoke appetizers
- Steak and Gravy, Crock Pot style with mashed potatoes
I went on the NavyforMoms.com site and some woman actually said to another worried mom whose son was in his second or third week of boot to 'calm down and get over yourself.' That's what they call support? I'm not sure I'm cut out for this.
I'm feeling a bit stupid right now. I can't figure out how to allow URL links in comments. Does anyone know how to make this change in Blogger? I've looked at the comments options but I can't figure it out. Is it even possible in Blogger? I'm wondering if I shouldn't migrate this blog to the one I have over at Wordpress that's been dead for a year and a half.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Things are about to change...
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Pepsi Refresh Project - A Soft Place To Land, Inc.
It looks as though we've finally landed in not only the top 10, but FIRST PLACE! We'll receive notification from Pepsi on Monday the 3rd. I'm so excited to be a part of this group and make this a rescue a success.
I'm on the board of a very small, very new dog rescue. This group of women save dogs from being euthanized when they are considered useless by puppy mills. They, we, provide them with safe and comfortable homes where they are socialized and shown that people are kind, spay or neuter them, and then place them for adoption.
A Soft Place To Land, Inc. is competing in the Pepsi Refresh Project for a $25,000 grant to pay for the 501(c3) (non-profit status), PACFA (Pet Animal Care Facilities Act) application, veterinarian costs, and so much more. This is a very worthy cause and I ask you to check them out and vote every day. Voting ends October 31 and we need to be in the top 10 in order to receive the grant.
I've included a link to the right to vote for us. You may also vote by texting* 102827 to Pepsi (73774).
*Standard text messaging rates apply.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Random Crap
- Easy Chicken Enchiladas, rice, beans
- Meatloaf, baby baker potatoes, green beans
- Canadian bacon with apples and onions, sweet potato mash
- Taco's
- Mac N Cheese with Chicken
- Spaghetti and meatballs
- Some sort of soup
I've finished up my Counseling Theories class - or will on Wednesday. This one was a killer and I'm hoping that things get easier rather than harder. I've asked a friend to let me know if she hears anything about Time or Stress Management workshops in the area; I really need help in that aspect. My next class is Dual Disorders, focusing on - I believe - psychological disorders and alcohol or drug abuse. So much fun.
Homecoming week is upon us. All week long Matt's high school will be having activities for homecoming - the three biggest are a huge bonfire on Thursday night, the football game on Friday and dance on Saturday. I think all the kids really love this week just because the district tries to make it fun. Matt will have his senior pictures done on October 3. I'm not doing them like I did for Jake. Matt mowed a photographer's lawn this summer in exchange for his pictures. I'm sure they'll be a lot better than mine.
And on my final note of randomness - completely outdoing myself for making the least sense ever and having no point whatsoever - I'm reading a great series these days... The Hallows Series (Rachel Morgan) by Kim Harrison. This series of books can be described as paranormal murder-mystery romance - otherwise known as vampire smut. Oh, dear Lord. It's brain candy at its best, and I swore I'd never read anything like Twilight (still won't read that, by the way).
I'll wrap this up with a link to a blogger-friend of mine - I think the sentiment is appropriate these days.
Monday, September 6, 2010
New Friends
Rob met her husband a year ago. They became friends at school and wanted to get the two families together. I balked. I don't like meeting new people; it's awkward and a lot of the time, the other families we've met are too different or... out of our league? He tried to arrange a picnic last summer, a barbecue, a day at the lake - he was relentless. I said no. I was under a lot of pressure with my senior capstone, finishing up my degree, surviving a job that I can't stand, my oldest son was graduating and starting his own life. I made all the excuses I could think of.
At the beginning of this summer, my husband started talking about getting together with this other family again. This time he said he wasn't taking no for an answer. I finally (and literally) threw up my hands and said, "Fine, lets plan to meet them at the lake and barbecue." I picked the date and he made all the plans. My job was to show up. And I did. And I really enjoyed myself. It took a little while for the ice to break, and when it did, this amazing woman and I sat talking about everything and nothing for hours. Our kids played and fished, husbands talked and talked (and fished a little), and this woman and I talked - endlessly. I was sad when the day came to an end. I was also exhausted and burned and dragging a complaining 11 year-old home.
I had enjoyed myself so much that day, I told my husband that we had to do it again - soon! We went to the New West Fest, spending the day walking around, feeding our kids 'fair food' and listening to the free concerts. This year the Fest had margaritas at their Brewfest section, so when we were done walking around and doing everything, we sent out kids with our husbands to ride all the crazy, expensive rides, and the moms? Well, we bought margaritas, picked out a spot on the grass and talked for as much time as we could get. I really liked her. We decided to exchange phone numbers and befriended each other on Facebook.
I've talked to her on the phone twice now; always after her kids are in bed and mine are on their way. I can relate to her because she's raising a family, working and surviving school - not just surviving but excelling. It's nice to venture out of your comfort zone sometimes. You don't always meet people you can enjoy at soccer practices or the bleachers at football games. Sometimes it's good to let your husband set you up with someone - you never know what the rewards will be.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
It's been forever!
Knowing my degree wasn't going to pay me enough to start repaying the staggering amount that I now owe to the Federal Loan Program, I was already on the ball. I applied to, and was accepted at, Grand Canyon University for a Master of Science, Professional Counseling degree. I started June 3. So far I have one "A" and am working on my second one. At this point though, I just want to pass. Having two children living at home with active social lives and sports schedules, balancing that with a part time job and being in graduate school... oh, yeah, I'm a wife too - now when do I get to have any time for me? I'm working on it.
Jake moved out last October. He graduated from high school, enrolled in college, found roommates and decided to jump ship. Can't blame him though; it was time for him to spread his wings and have his own life. It's quiet around here without him. Well, the quiet is a relative term. With a 'tween and a 17 year old in the house, there is plenty of noise, but Jake had this huge, loud personality. I miss him.
Jake is about to turn 20 (in less than two weeks!), Matt will be 18 two days after that, and Lindsay will be 12 in October. Holy crap, I'm feeling old! I'm pretty sure I'm not mature enough to have a 20 year old son.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
What Happend To The Weekend? Or, What Was I Thinking?
We got home at around three in the afternoon and May wasn't waiting for me, she called around five and said she'd be there by six but nine o'clock rolled around before she parked in front of my house. I wasn't angry. May has just started a dog rescue and she was dropping dogs that had been destined for death off with various no-kill shelters.
Previously a draft 2/9/10 - worth publishing 1/1/11
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
The Life and Times
I'm in two classes right now, one online (Adult Spirituality), the other in the classroom (The Family). The Family is primarily a sociology class so I'm not used to just looking at the statistics and saying, "Well that's interesting." I'm more interested in why something is happening not just that it happened. That being said, it's an easy class. I do the reading and writing the night before and then attend class the next evening. The instructor lectures for almost the whole time, rarely stopping for anyone to add anything constructive. No biggie.
Adult Spirituality, on the other hand, is one that makes me dig deep. Not that I thought it was going to be easy, but WOW! I'm dedicating two days a week to that class and I'd bet it would be easier if I'd spend four days doing the reading and posting. I just don't seem to have that much time right now.
Work is getting lighter now. I'm nearly done with prepping the books for the accountant. Today my boss said it was no big deal if we waited until next week to finish everything up. Talk about a big sigh of relief. Now I can deal with other pressing matters, like renewing our Cost Containment Certification which I haven't had to do for the past three years and is due in just a few days.
While my work load at my job may be lightening up, tax season for individuals is about to ramp up. For the last several years I've helped out friends here and there with their taxes. I've always done it as a favor or out of friendship in the past but this year the cost of the program and my dwindling time are requiring me to charge a small fee. I've already got two returns lined up, besides ours and Jake's.
My hubby lost his job due to lack of work last week. We were kind of expecting it, so it wasn't a shock. Thankfully he should get unemployment and that will fill the void until he can find something suitable. This whole situation kind of leaves me stunned in another way though. Every time some sort of financial crisis has threatened to befall us, I lose my mind. I stress out; I cry; I make others around me miserable and worsen the impact on my family. This time I'm pretty calm about it. I know that we'll be okay, we've been through worse. Maybe I'm just growing up. I guess you can still do that in your 30's, right?
I got some good news when I was leaving campus tonight. I've been looking at grad programs at several different universities for nearly a year now. Ideally I'd like to attend Regis in their Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology but they only offer the program in Denver and Broomfield and I'm just not willing to drive an hour once a week to sit in class for four hours in the evening. It would be torture. I know five people, maybe six, who would like to attend the same program but the drive is just a deal breaker. Tonight I was told by the night manager that the Fort Collins campus had been contacted by the program in Denver asking if they had some specific technology that the program requires. It's possible that they're already looking at bringing the program up here and I was given contact information and guidance on convincing them that it was a good idea.
So, YEA! Things are looking up. Busy season is ending at work, grad school may be possible with the school I'm interested in, and we won't be living in our car due to the job loss.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
For You.... You know who you are!
I won't cover everything that happened in the time since I disappeared, it's just too much. Some happy, some horrible - lets just say that life happens. I won't promise I'll post regularly either.
Well, here goes...
Merry Christmas! Ours was pretty good. I threw a party for the in-laws. There were 30 people and it was great. It was also a lot more work than I thought it would be however, if I do it again next year, I'll know what to expect and how to pull it off without as much stress.
My family celebrated at my mothers on Christmas Eve. My brothers and their wife/girlfriend (respectively) along with their children and my husband and kids all chipped in and bought my parents a new LCD television and my younger brother built a custom entertainment center. It was great. My parents hadn't bought a new television since the late '80's!
On Christmas Eve and Christmas Day my family was all together under the same roof. This is a big deal because Jake, the oldest, moved out of our home into an apartment in October. I miss him a lot but the quiet that replaced him is pretty nice too. You know I love you honey!
The kids left to go to the in-laws cabin up near Walden on Christmas Night, leaving my hubby and I alone for the weekend. We truly had no idea what to do with ourselves.
We have one last holiday gathering to attend. The annual New Year's Eve party held by our dear friends. I will certainly need it after the final three work days of the year have beaten me to a pulp.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Out of the Will
Jakegraduated from high school last Saturday. We sent announcements/invitations to family and friends, just like normal people do. We weren't asking for gifts or money, we were just letting people know and sending them a picture. Nearly everyone came to the party, and those that didn't sent a card or called to congratulate him.
MIL-1? She didn't do a thing. She didn't call. She didn't send a card. She didn't show up. She didn't even send a text message, which is her standard these days. She's ignored my kids for years, only paying attention to them when it was convenient for her. My family is done being convenient.
I've been saying it for a long time, we need to be done with her. Jakes graduation invitation was the last invitation I will ever send.
Good riddance.
On a happier note...
It took me 20 years but I finally got approval from my FIL. What is it with me and the in-laws? I was standing there at the graduation talking to him about the graduation ceremony and party going on around us when he told me that Jake had gown up to be a fine young man and that we had done a great job with him. "And this is a great party, you did a good job."
That was it. Twenty years of approval wrapped up in that one little statement. But that's all it took for me.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
20 Years
20 years ago today, I kissed my baby boys sweet little head and told the doctor it was okay to turn off the ventilator.
Thinking about that still brings tears to my eyes. I wish I could still smell his sweet babyness, cuddle his tiny little self.
After his heart stopped and relatives held him to say their goodbyes, we swaddled him in a blanket, handed his little body over to a nurse, and watched her walk down the hall and out of sight.
I haven't let that scene play in my head in a long time. A piece of my heart broke off and shriveled up in that moment.
Time certainly does not heal all wounds. It eases their severity. But the deep ones? It doesn't ever just go away.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Fresh Heartbreak
And I think of him...
Please keep the Spohr and Myers families in your thoughts and prayers.
Friday, April 3, 2009
I Could Be A Jewelry Girl...
So it's fake, but the real thing cost $300, so the decision was easy to make. It's perfect, but I've seen some other pearl necklaces that now I have a craving for a few more pieces.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Which Ring?
The urban dictionary says it's the hell reserved for:
- Bad spellers
- People who drink decaf coffee...
Tee hee hee...
It's also from Dante's Inferno:
"Wrath and Sullenness (7-8) Like the fourth circle of hell, the fifth circle--presented in Inferno 7 and 8--contains two related groups of sinners. But whereas avarice and prodigality are two distinct sins based on the same principle (an immoderate attitude toward material wealth), wrath and sullenness are basically two forms of a single sin: anger that is expressed (wrath) and anger that is repressed (sullenness). This idea that anger takes various forms is common in ancient and medieval thought. Note how the two groups suffer different punishments appropriate to their type of anger--the wrathful ruthlessly attacking one another and the sullen stewing below the surface of the muddy swamp (Inf. 7.109-26)--even though they are all confined to Styx." http://danteworlds.laits.utexas.edu/circle5.html
I'm not sure I quoted the right ring of hell... Maybe I did. I'll figure it out - now that I know where to find the descriptions of hell.
And how weird is that, since I don't really believe in hell...