Wednesday, January 14, 2015

More suck from the process known as grief

I call my mom a couple times a day.  I don't know how else to be there for her when we live about 20 miles away and I have to work about 30 miles away from her house.  I couldn't call this morning so I sent her a text and asked about her dog who was at the vet getting her teeth cleaned.  

Matt will be here tomorrow afternoon.  He was lucky to get the emergency leave, though they made him pay for the ticket and use his leave, we simply don't care.  While we aren't having a memorial service until this summer, we are having a family dinner where we'll all have the opportunity to share with each other, find comfort, and talk to my mom about the future.   

I wonder when this will get easier?  I know it takes time, I've done it before, talked with others who have, and still I'd just like to know I'll be on the other side.  

One moment changed everything.  FYI, freak accidents happen.  I think that's whats so hard.  HE SLIPPED ON THE FUCKING ICE!  I've slipped 15 times since he fell and I didn't die!  I didn't even fall on my butt!  Ugh.  

Also, I just learned that research says swearing helps us to be more resilient.  I've got a life to put back together people, so if you don't like the swearing, fuck off.


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