Pushing My Kids

I have pushed my boys in many different things from schoolwork to sports to playing an instrument and I think pushing your kids to do their best, to be involved and to try new things is good for them and makes them better people.

When the boys started playing football in 7th grade neither one of them did well at first. Jake had a hard time with the discipline and Matt had trouble with all of it. We wouldn't allow them to quit in the middle of the season, they started and they were going to finish, like it or not. Jake found his groove at the beginning of the 8th grade football season and soon was playing both sides of the ball, a much needed and talented player. Matt decided to try it for another season when he began 8th grade but the second round was no better than the first, again he wanted to quit but he'd started and was going to finish. Now both of our boys are great players, are dedicated to football even in the off season, and they appreciate the pushing we did in junior high. They love football.

A similar thing happened when they began playing in the band although Jake had more fun than Matt did. Jake played the trombone for three years and even played in the Jazz Band. Matt on the other hand couldn't settle on an instrument and played the trumpet in 7th and the French Horn in 8th. He decided he didn't want to play in band during his 9th grade year and against my better judgement, let him out of band when he signed up for classes in the middle of 8th grade. By the end of that school year he regretted his decision but they couldn't fit him into a band class for the next year. I learned my lesson: trust your instincts, if you make them finish something, they will appreciate it.

Now that Lindsay is in soccer we've had our battles. She doesn't like the run at the beginning of practices or she may not want to go if she's had a bad day. We ask her months before the season begins if she wants to play again, we talk about soccer as the season draws near, and we make sure she's excited rather than dreading the practices and games. When she gets tired of it mid-season, we remind her that it was her choice to play and that she must finish what she started. At the end of every season she appreciates it.

I'm of the mindset that children need pushing. They should finish what they start and they should be well rounded. Our children know that they have to take two years of a language, play in band through junior high, and be involved in some sport or athletic activity throughout junior high and high school - and keep up their grades of course. I believe in being well rounded and I am making sure that my children are pushed to do the things that I never was not because I'm trying to live vicariously through them, but because I think that if I am capable of providing them with these experiences, I should. They are better for it and won't look back on what they did and be angry with me for not letting them quit.