All the publicity surrounding the shooting at the Dark Night Rises in Aurora last weekend is starting to take it's toll on me. I guess it's mostly about the sailor that died and how the bubble I imagine my family living in was burst. So I'm not an idiot, and I never actually believed that there was something that exempted my family from bad things; I've just been able to ignore the fact. I can't anymore.
Since Sunday night, I'm kept awake by thoughts of a government sedan pulling up in front of my house and uniformed officers getting out. They walk up my steps and knock on the door... I don't want to open it because I know why they are there. I verge on panic and then it subsides because I tell myself it's ridiculous. Or is it?
I haven't told anyone I know about this, not the navy mom's, not my husband or son, no one. I'm afraid they will think I've gone off the deep end. I think I just need some time and space from Colorado's most recent tragedy. I will not read another article about it, I will avoid postings on Facebook regarding the deaths, I will continue to stick with the Hallmark channel that, thankfully, has no news coverage.
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