Friends Leave

So I'm at work and my cell phone rings. Not uncommon, the kids call all the time during the day, as do those people who want all my paycheck - are those two the same thing?

Anyway, the caller ID says that it's a friend of mine from from college. She's lived in Denver for the past three years and I only see her once a year but we call about every two months to catch up on eachother's lives.

She left a message saying that she's moving to California in a few weeks and wanted to catch up before she did. I don't know why that makes me so sad, but it does. I've know for a couple of years that her dream job lies in LA and that she just can't pursue it here in Colorado.

I'll talk to her tonight and wish her well. I hope that her life turns out great but I'm just so sad that she's leaving.

The Case Of The Bad Milk

Safeway is getting on my nerves. They are one of six large chain grocery stores in town (if you count Super Wal-Mart and the just opened Super Target - with whom I'm falling in love, by the way).

I've been a loyal Safeway shopper for 12 years now, even when their prices seem to be the highest in town and they can't decide how they want the groceries arranged and in which aisle they belong. I complain to my favorite employees, there are three of them, that I just can't understand why the management wants to upset their loyal customers with their insane midnight store rearranging, removing some of the loyal customer discounts, and even flip-flopping the way they handle buy-one-get-one sales. I've written a comment card exactly once, so in part, this is my bad.

Today I drove to Safeway to return a gallon of milk that I had just opened. When I unscrewed the cap I nearly fell over. The milk doesn't expire until tomorrow and I only bought it a few days ago. Again, chalk one up to my bad for not digging in the back for one who's expiration date was farther out. So I take the milk to the customer service counter and say it's bad and that I have more shopping to do. I had to buy ice cream - priorities you know.

The assistant manager asks me if I'd bought two gallons originally and I say yes. This means that I only paid $3.50 for the gallon and she proceeds to refund that price. I told her that I was going to buy another gallon to replace this one and she said that was fine. I asked if I'd have to pay the regular price since I wasn't buying two. She said yes.

Seriously?

"Um, that sucks," I said to her, "since I'm just replacing this one."

"Yeah."

That's what she said. As if paying to replace an unexpired bad gallon of milk was just a normal business practice.

I asked if she could just exchange it. With a (sticky) sweet smile on her face, she agreed that I could do it that way if I wanted to and she would keep the bad gallon with her.

Sigh...

What is wrong with these people!?

In the past when I've replaced a bad gallon, this very assistant manager has asked me if I left it out in the car after I bought it. As in, did you ruin it yourself? Now why in the hell would I do that?

Lousy customer service.

I've really got to start shopping at King Soopers more.

Oh, yeah! And SUPER TARGET!

As a side note - I was asked no less that 8 times if I needed help finding anything when I was in Super Target yesterday!

Look Up Pathetic In The Dictionary...

You'll find my picture there.

I have some serious 'oh, woe is me' attitude going on. I hate it when that happens because I'm a complete wreck and I'm pathetic. I've decided to accept that my neighbor is going to move. She's not only going to move, but she's going to leave me behind! Oh, wait. That's what moving is, right? Yeah… That's how pathetic I am.

My neighbor hasn't even found out how much she can spend on a house, let alone bought one, and I'm dreading the day she leaves. Sigh…

I hate change. I've always hated it because I can't remember a single change that hasn't had something totally awful and horrible associated with it. Yes, I do have a flare for the dramatic. But, change sucks. So when I think of one of my nearest and dearest friends moving across town (eye roll), it makes me nuts. You see, we don't go out and do things together. We're neighbors that are closer than most but not go-out-and-do-things kind of neighbors.

(We are sit-on-the-porch-and-drink neighbors. We email almost every day and talk, getting drunk - or nearly - about once every six weeks or so. Maybe. But if she moves, that's the end of that.)

Although, a month or so ago, she and her boyfriend called me from a bar and begged us to meet them for a few drinks – and we went – and we suffered through that ultimate fighting pay-per-view at the bar. (another eye roll!)

I'm just so down on everything right now that some distant event has the power to make tears leap into my eyes, my breath catches behind the lump building in my throat, and my world feels for a moment like it might crash around my shoulders. I'm a mess.

Matt's First Driving Confrontation

This evening I took Matt driving. He got his learners' permit on Monday and this was his second time out.

We own a stick shift and my theory has always been that when you first learn to drive, it should been on a manual. I've been careful about only driving when the traffic is light, starting out in empty parking lots and driving around our neighborhood. But this evening we noticed that the driveway between the new shopping center and the parking lot we've been using had been opened. I decided we'd start out in the parking lot of the new shopping center, Front Range Village, and then drive into our neighborhood. It adds some distance and there was zero traffic.

Matt was slow to get moving; he was having difficulty with the transition between stop and go... if you've driven a stick shift, you know what I'm talking about. It took him a few times to get moving but he finally made it and we came up to a stop sign. There was a security truck for the Front Range Village just sitting at the intersection and I realized that he'd been sitting there for several minutes watching us - probably since we'd changed drivers. Matt had a few more false starts and the truck pulled up next to us, his drivers' window next to ours, and asked if there was a problem. I told him, from the passengers seat, that we were having a driving lesson and that we were headed out of the parking lot. Remember, there is not another moving car or person within 1,000 feet of us and no parked cars within 500 feet. We were obviously headed out of the center via a back road. The 'gentleman' (and I use that term loosely) said that it was private property and that if he (Matt) needed driving lessons, he should take drivers' education. I said again that we were leaving and he just stared at us. I said, "Thank you, and goodbye," smiling a sweet smile and said we were on our way. I believe he was trying to get me out of the passengers seat and into the drivers seat so that we would leave as soon as possible... I didn't. I just sat and stared at him until he pulled away. When Matt got moving again, the security truck turned around and followed us, to make sure we were leaving.

I'll be sure to shop there every damn day for the next month, buying a loaf of bread at the new Super Target, a screw at the new Lowe's, and let Matt drive home every damn day. I'll be sure to leave the crowded parking area, park in an empty area, make a huge deal of changing drivers, hoping attract the attention of the security, and then slowly pulling out to get their attention. When the library opens, we'll be sure to annoy the security even more.

Maybe I made a bad choice by choosing 'private' property, maybe we should have shopped there first, maybe we should have stuck to our neighborhood. But maybe the condescending attitude of a rent-a-cop was unnecessary and our ability to annoy them - legally - has been confirmed.

Yeah, I'll shop there. And YES, I'll enjoy the potential confrontation.

BlogHer

Oh, have MERCY! I've been reading about BlogHer for months now and it never meant much to me because, well... My blog is a baby? Yeah, that's it. I had no idea what it was all about and I had no interest in meeting all of the mommy bloggers out there because I wasn't one of them.

NOT!

I may not be popular, I may not have but a handfull of readers and not even begin to understand Technorati ratings and all that stuff, but I read many of the women who are at BlogHer right now.

I wanna be part of it all!

Ramblings of an Insomniac

This is, quite literally, just a mess of mostly-unrelated topics with massive punctuation overuse, too many adjectives, meaningless ideas and a total and utter disregard for your time - READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

• It's 1:30 in the morning and I'm exhausted but I cannot sleep. I suffer from insomnia quite a bit. The morning after brings headaches, neck and back pain, more exhaustion I can't relieve, and the inability to hold a coherent conversation with my 9 year old. Pretty pathetic, huh? I've been sitting at my desk reading blogs and watching videos - The Breakfast Club and Speed (so far, but there may be more). Thank heavens I don't have to work on Mondays.
• I began my lovely evening reading a few of the blogs I frequent but decided to hit on a few that I only read occasionally for various reasons. I visited Loralee's Looney Tunes and got stuck on it for hours. I began reading her several months ago because she, like me, is a SIDS parent and I feel a bond with her, even though she has no idea who I am. Anyway, she recently had a knock-off 'post-secret' like blog post where people posted their secrets anonymously. I think it was amazing, though at least a quarter of the posts were likely TOTAL BS. But, whatever trips your trigger. If people want to lie anonymously on someone else's blog then they must need the attention. So go check some of this stuff out, the ones that sound 'real' are intriguing.
• I'm going to be a slacker this week. I don't think I'll be getting a decent meal plan together anytime soon. Maybe the kids will starve. It's more likely that they will scrounge something like canned soup or hot dogs and macaroni and cheese though.
• Some debt is coming back to haunt me. Last year we found ourselves with some very tough decisions to make due to a decrease in our income and other factors: pay the credit card bills or buy food and health insurance for the kids. Obviously my children were fed and had insurance, since you continue to hear about them, and the credit card companies didn't get paid. Now, one of them - so far - wants their money, and they want it now. You get the idea.
• Due to the above, I may not be attending Regis in the fall and I will have to start repaying my student loans. Another $400 a month out of our already-tight budget? I think not. I still haven't decided what I'm going to do, but I may end up being a college drop-out with only ten classes left. It makes me sad.
• Being wiped out, as I am now, makes you admit to things that may not belong on a blog.
• I'm looking for scholarships designed to help seniors finish their last year in college when their student loans have run out. Hint, hint!
• While I've been mercifully free of headaches for a couple of days, I found out today that one of the moms I met at soccer is suffering from the same horrible, debilitating headaches. She's even taken the same drugs as I have, with no better luck. I long to be able to solve it for her or offer her helpful advice because I know her pain. Unfortunately, that isn't the case.
• My plan for tomorrow was to do laundry all morning, clean out my pantry, clean the living room, attached office and dining room including the ever-important vacuuming. I hope I get some of it done.
• Today I told someone about my Nissan Altima. We were just chatting and I was explaining why I bought a new car. All of the Altima's problems, faults and necessary repairs were confessed along with how much I wanted to sell it for - and then they told me that they might want to buy it?! I told them they didn't want it. Looking out for my own interests? Uh, NOT! If I keep this up, I'll never sell the damn thing.
• Tomorrow, um... I guess it's well into July 14th. Today is my 17th wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, we're broke and I don't even have anything amazing to make for a nice dinner here at home. I'm bummed about this.
• We've been looking for a grill since last summer when we had to retire our old one due to leaks in the connections. We haven't bought one yet because it seems like an extravagant expense. Yesterday, someone gave us a used grill - gave, as in, for free. It's so nice to know that there are genuinely kind people out there.
• Lindsay and I went to the farmers market on Sunday and bought the bag-o-veggies for $10 again. We picked out zucchini, again, asparagus, a red onion, red and white potatoes, turnips, broccoli and basil. I cut and froze the asparagus and basil. I had meant to use a Martha Stewart tip and chop the basil before putting it into ice cube trays filled with water and then freeze them but I totally spaced it out. For the record, I hate Martha Stewart. I may go into that more in depth someday.
• Apparently, I have a new way to spend my nights. I can't sleep so I watch movies until I'm bored out of my mind but can't sleep and instead I clean! My mother would be so proud. When I was younger, I would clean when I was angry. My mother figured this out and would occasionally make me outraged; it was the only way my house ever got really clean. Now that I'm in my mid thirties, anger no longer inspires me to clean my messy house. My subconscious must have decided to find a new route to the clean living room. Bore her out of her mind! Then she must clean!
• It's a few minutes shy of 4 in the morning and my eyelids are starting to get a little heavy. I've put the movie Tremors on and am starting to succumb to its sleep-aid effect.
• May you have many good nights' sleep and never suffer from insomnia - Good night. Or is it morning...

Without Four-Letter Words

I found a quote on Tami's site that inspired me. Insults with class! There is a whole page of them. Go check it out... go, do it and be quick about it. Then come back... please?

Worth it, wasn't it? I thought so.

There's one that made me think of myself... "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

Maybe that's what I should have named my site...'Delusions of Adequacy" I'll have to consider changing my blog name. NOT! But seriously, I dream of being simply adequate. Seems like I should be aiming higher but I'm spread so thin most of the time that I nearly always miss the mark.

Zucchini Pie

Tami was right. It is really difficult to get good pictures of food.

Tonight I made a zucchini pie to go with dinner. I found the recipe on Pillsbury's website. It's similar to the recipe I had a couple of years ago. I played with it and came up with something pretty yummy. Of course, I forgot to take pictures before I sliced it and ate some of it.

It was pretty good. You should try it.

Sluggish

I added a new widget to my side bar. It shows the books you've read, are reading or plan to read. So far I've only added what is in my book bag - the bag I take to work with me and that's almost always near my desk when I'm home. This way I don't lose anything - or at least not easily!

I've owned the blogging book for months and I keep it in my bag to dig out when I'm feeling lost at the computer and for when I'm bored out of my mind at work. It will probably stay on the list for a while. The Amber Chronicles was supposed to be done by the end of May - right. I've only finished one of the ten books it contains. I'll have to start working on that. Sadly, I've read Inca Gold and Digital Fortress already. I have a Janet Evanovich book on my nightstand but it's been there for weeks and I haven't picked it up. I'll have to figure out what it is, add it and then actually read it.

I haven't felt well since last Thursday so I've been a big lazy slug. I've watched a ton of movies and recorded television shows on the DVR. I think I'm ready to go back to work though. I need to do something with my sorry self. I didn't even spend time working on our dinner plan for this week, even though D and I went to the store yesterday. I've planned around the food I bought rather than the other way around.

Meal Plan - July 7 - 13

• Monday - Beef and Broccoli with rice. We were going to have this last week - I think - but never did.
• Tuesday - Green Chili Smothered Chicken and spanish rice.
• Wednesday - Oven Baked Chicken and Zucchini Casserole.
• Thursday - Slop. This a complicated mix of ground beef and cream of mushroom soup over rice or noodles. Don't knock it - my kids love it!
• Friday - Veggie Beef Soup in the crock-pot.
• Saturday - Burritos.
• Sunday - Parmesan Chicken Fingers and Salad.

The hubby hates soup so he'll have to find something different on Friday. I know, I know... it's not nice to make food he won't eat, but there are things I just really want that he hates. I have to do that sometimes. Normally he would be out of the house when I'd make something he won't eat, like D and I were on Sunday when the hubby made the fish he caught on Saturday. I really don't like trout.

I've obsessed for a few days about the Zucchini Casserole recipe that I seem to have lost. I can't find it anywhere, not in my email, my document folders, printed cookbooks, online - it's GONE! I obsessed until I found something different but satisfying. It's called Zucchini with Jalapeno Monterey Jack. Cut one zucchini in 1/4 inch slices and pan fry in a tiny bit of butter until done. Layer in a glass, microwave safe dish alternating with thin slices of pepper jack cheese. Microwave until cheese is bubbly. That's it. Use less cheese or plain Monterey Jack if you need to reduce the spiciness. I had some for lunch today - it was yummy.

Farmers Market

Matt and I stopped by the Farmers Market today right before they closed. We filled a big bag with veggies for $10. It's a pretty good deal. We bought beets, turnips, an onion ('cause I only needed one), zucchini, yellow squash, peas, green beans, carrots and cucumbers. The bag probably weighed 20 pounds. Too bad we don't eat cooked greens or we'd have lots more for our $10.

I happend to have some mangos and oranges on the counter when I took this picture - they didn't come from our local growers. :)

I'm excited to make a zucchini bake recipe I have. It's so decadent. It's got sliced or julienned zucchini, pepper jack cheese, eggs and bread crumbs in it. It is sooooo good. I'll have to find the recipe and post it. I think I got it from Food Network.

Tonight we are not making dinner. The hubby went fishing last night and cooked up his fish while D and I were out running errands, Matt got a sandwich from the Deli at Safeway, and I got a panini from the Spicy Pickle - don't ask.

I haven't come up with a plan for this weeks meals yet - I'm thinking there are going to be simple and even non-existent this week because Lindsay is gone, Jake works and spends time with The Girlfriend, and Matt has a friend from California in town this week. I could live on soup and sandwiches or salads.

Our 4th

I have ideas for blog posts all of the time but never seem to be able to get them written down anymore. I'm working on a post about my brothers, though it's only a few sentences so far. I've thought about posting about health frustrations I'm experiencing right now, but thinking about it is draining. So I thought I'd just summarize our holiday.

I was supposed to meet my parents for breakfast this morning at 8am but I hit snooze on my alarm once and then turned it off ten minutes later. I didn't even think about why it was going off the second time, I just wanted it to shut up! An hour and twenty minutes later, my mother called from the restaurant to ask when we'd be there. It was 8:02. I told her we'd be there as soon as we could, but a few minutes later she called back and said that we'd just skip it because they'd been seated for almost 15 minutes. I felt bad; I've never blown off a planned get-together with my parents.

Last night was busy. Lindsay and I had gone to the grocery store at 10 o'clock at night for the ingredients to a salad I made for our picnic today. Jake and Matt were at a computer gaming place and didn't get home until late - almost 12:30 in the morning. I stayed up to make sure they got home okay and then wasn't able to sleep until nearly 2 in the morning. It's no wonder we didn't get up on time. So this morning, with several hours to waste before heading to Greeley at 3:30, Lindsay and I made another trip to the grocery store. This time for the ingredients to a coleslaw recipe I'd found that was simple. I ended up taking a marinated antipasto salad - marinated mushrooms, mozzarella balls, cucumbers, olives, red bell pepper, garlic, etc. - blue cheese coleslaw (sounds weird, tastes pretty good), crackers and cheese, a fruit tray, and brie and french bread. I was really into food prep this morning. I did a load of laundry - which dried on the line in nearly 20 minutes because it was so damn hot here - 100-degrees at 5pm - and got Lindsay packed for her week stay in Greeley with her cousin and the hubby's Aunt.

The picnic was small, only the hubby's grandparents, two aunts, two uncles and my FIL. Because everyone (apparently) thought like I did, there was way too much food. We had a good time, relaxing and talking. There was bug spray involved because the mosquito's were insane. And the girls, Lindsay and her cousin, played and had lots of fun. Jake wasn't able to come because he worked two three-hour shifts today. So at eight o'clock tonight, I gathered everyone up and made them say their good-bye's. On our way back into Fort Collins, we dropped Matt off at a friend's house and he is staying the night. Jake was home when we got back and complaining that he's home with his parents on Friday, the 4th of July. I guess that makes him friendless or boring or something equally insane. The Girlfriend is up in Estes Park with her family, the best friend is camping up in Red Feather (in the mountains) with his family, and all of his other friends had plans that include partying. Jake isn't a big party guy, or at least he isn't yet. I, on the other hand, am okay with that.

So here I sit, at nearly midnight, typing the boring tale of our day... And I think I made one of my friends angry with me tonight - what a smashing day!

My Distractions

I guess we have to take the good with the bad sometimes. We did buy a 'new' car last week. It's a 1998 Ford Contour. It's red, not bright and not brick, somewhere in between. I'm kind of in love with it.

On the other hand, I've been in a lot of pain this last week. Yesterday was excruciating, but I survived. It's depressing to have to be in this same place again after so much time, surgery and hormone treatments. I think I'll be seeing the OB/GYN at my new doctors office sometime soon, transferring my records and starting over. There's so much to say about all of this, but somehow it seems done to death and I just can't bring myself to put it all down.

To provide a distraction, I've buried myself in some new cookbooks that a friend dropped off this weekend. They are mostly diet and Weight Watchers cookbooks, but I find them all fascinating. I found ideas for 'light' simple salads to take to work for lunch along with some dinner recipes that are not affected by the reduction of fat and calories. Not that I have a problem eating these foods myself, but my family has a tendency to turn their noses up at these types of meals. I did discover that I could never go on Weight Watchers because of it's continuous suggestion/requirement of sugar substitutes. I cannot use aspartame or even Splenda. I am allergic (or at least very sensitive) to aspartame and Splenda gives me a headache - like I don't have enough of those.

On the up side, I've confirmed a loss of over 20 pounds over the last year. Even though that number is not very high, it makes me happy because I didn't gain any of it back, showed continuous loss (and plateau's) rather that loss and gain. I've changed my eating habits, use healthy fats when I do use them, exercise more, eat less but more often (because of my hypoglycemia) and feel better. Next year I hope to experience a similar loss. The slower I lose, the more permanent - or at least that's the way I see it.

Even though I've spent hours and hours pouring over cookbooks, my meal plan for this week is still very basic.
Meal Plan - June 30 - July 6

• Monday - Calzones. This time I used Pillsbury's Thin Crust Pizza Dough - it's light and crispy rather than heavy and... bready? Is that even a word?
• Tuesday - Hamburger Casserole ala Lindsay.
• Wednesday - Black Bean and Veggie Stack. It's like a Mexican lasagna - yummy.
• Thursday - Spaghetti Carbonara.
• Friday - Family Picnic and I have no idea what I'm bringing.
• Saturday - Spicy Beef and Broccoli.
• Sunday - Leftovers

I'm hoping to have a good attitude this week. I only have to work three days and I actually get paid for the 4th. Then I have four days off in a row. Lindsay will be spending the 4th through the 9th in Greeley with her cousin and the hubby's aunt. I think this second 'vacation' is to make up for her last one being cut short by snow in the mountains. They all plan to spend their days laying beside the pool and - again - having spa days.

Trying Not To Get Excited

I'm crossing my fingers... I'm thinking positive thoughts... I have the money... (thanks to my boss) Now I need to pray for patience.

Tomorrow after work, the hubby and I are going to Loveland to look at a car. If all goes well, I'll drive it home tomorrow night.

This isn't the car, it's the same color and body style - 1999 Ford Contour

Some Random Pictures

Lindsay fell asleep reading a book next to her chair on the floor. She was too cute so I had to take a picture.

She had a long weekend, helping with the new chairs, some cleaning and spending time with her grandparents.

This is my desk - when it's clean. There are really only two distinct piles and that is a huge plus for my desk. Every bill, paystub, school note, photo, scrap of paper, everything ends up on my desk.

So welcome to my world.

This is the new chair I bought - one of them. Yeah, it's ugly, but it can be covered and I was never concerned with looks, just comfort.

Meal Plan for June 23 - 29 and MORE

There is a method to my meal planning madness. The goal is to feed my family, for a week, for $100 or less. This is out of necessity, not some desire to save tons of money. So far I've done okay. I have back up food in my freezer, and I budget a little extra for quick stuff from Schwans. This week I went to the store before I had everything planned out and I spent almost $100 for less than the full week. I have a reunion coming up on Saturday and I still have to buy the food for my dishes - lucky for me, they are pretty simple.

Meal Plan for June 23 - 29

• Monday - Chicken Stir-fry with eggrolls and rice.
• Tuesday - Crab and Red Pepper Alfredo over angel hair pasta with broccoli and cauliflower.
• Wednesday - Chicken Fried Steak with mashed potatoes and corn.
• Thursday - Spaghetti and garlic bread.
• Friday - Chicken strips and parmesan garlic french fries.
• Saturday - Family Reunion, Watermelon/Strawberry salad, potato salad and baked beans.
• Sunday - I have no idea... Kraft Macaroni and Cheese with Hot Dogs?

I've learned how to make several dishes with some of the same basic ingredients - stirfry and spaghetti have onion, peppers and mushrooms - stirfry and chicken strips off the same large package of chicken. You get the idea. I have enough veggies to throw together a salad with any meal or to take to work.
In other news...? I'm frustrated with my mother-in-law (but how many of us aren't at some point). I just can't deal with the selfish attitude right now and I'm even having bad dreams about the situation I've found myself in with her. I woke up to one this morning and when I'd doze off I'd end up right back in the same dream, so upset with her that I was crying. I cry when I get angry. There is nothing I can do about it, I just start to sob. It's a frustrating personality flaw that I have.

I found a Queen Anne Wing Back chair at a garage sale this weekend. They had a matching pair for sale and I only wanted one, which they agreed to sell me for $5. Since I was on a bike ride with Lindsay, I promised I'd be back after I got home and went to the ATM. I called Jake to come with his truck - the Altima could never haul a chair - and when I got back to the sale, the man told me to take them both - for $5! I had to think about where the other would go, but I took it. They are old and tattered, but that was what I was looking for. Queen Anne Wing Back chairs are expensive and I hadn't found a nice one for under $250. So now I have a comfy chair at my desk to curl up in to read a book, watch a video on my little television on my desk (the only place in the house to watch a video) or Netflix online, or write... whatever! I'm so happy. Lindsay gets the other chair. She's made a place in her room but we've found a spot for it right next to my desk - she can watch movies with me or just curl up and read her own book.

I tried to load some photos of a sleeping girl and my 'clean' desk. Clean is a relative term when it comes to my desk. Anyway, I'll load some later - if google cooperates.

Easy dinner tip: Calzones, REALLY! Refrigerated pizza dough cut into quarters, fill with ricotta and mozzarella cheeses, pepperoni, thin sliced veggies of your choice, pinch close with fork, poke holes to vent and bake for 15 to 20 minutes. Adjust your fillings to taste but serve pizza sauce on the side, it just works better that way. Great easy meal!

Meal Plan for June 16 - 22

Last week we skipped a few planned meals. I never really was happy about making spaghetti casserole in the first place, so the kids just ate leftovers. Tonight, Lindsay made dinner for us out of her Children's Cookbook; Tater Tot Casserole isn't too bad. It's only got ground beef, tater tots, cream of mushroom soup and milk in it.

Meal Plan for June 16 - 22

• Monday - Spicy Beef and Broccoli Stir-fry with rice and Schwan's egg rolls. I found recipes for sweet and sour sauce as well as hot mustard!
• Tuesday - Slow Cooker Mac N Cheese with Spicy Hot Dogs.
• Wednesday - Black Bean and Veggie Stack with Spanish rice.
• Thursday - Spicy Shredded Beef (Encore because everyone liked it - and I bought enough to make it twice).
• Friday - Salisbury Steaks from Super Suppers with mashed potatoes and veggie. They had a buy one get one special last week.
• Saturday - Taco Salad with trimmings.
• Sunday - To Be Determined.

I've got to go take care of Lindsay now. She fell on her scooter and banged up her knees pretty bad and now they are really hurting... Time to find the Neosporin.

100 Things

It's finally my 100th post and I have a list of 100 things about me - some are about my kids and husband though, I guess I've cheated a little.

1. I have a pen fetish. However, I’m not as bad as my friend Crystal, she’ll steal pens from the wait staff at restaurants because she likes the pen she signs the credit card slip with. Weird.

2. My father died in a small plane crash when I was five weeks old.

3. REMOVED

4. My earlobes are too small to have more than one hole for an earring.

5. I don’t have any tattoo’s but my husband has one.

6. I’m a family black sheep, just like my mother.

7. My grandmother thinks I go to church every Sunday and I haven’t corrected her.

8. I had two children before I got married, but all four of my kids have the same father.

9. I met the hubby when I was 15.

10. I buy too many pairs of shoes.

11. I am painfully shy. Because of that, I often give people the wrong impression.

12. I hate beer.

13. I’m a Wal-Mart snob. Translation: I shop there when I have to, but I don’t like the four-square-mile parking lots, the idiots who let their kids run wild, and the families of 20 who think that it’s their right to make an area impassable… the shopping experience leaves something to be desired.

14. I’m kind of afraid of water, as in: pools and lakes. I’m not a great swimmer and I hate to have water splashed in my face.

15. My favorite wine costs $25, but I’m totally okay buying a $4.99 bottle of Sutter Home White Zinfandel.

16. I think it’s crazy that in other states you can buy alcohol in a grocery store! You can't do that here, they only sell 3.2 in supermarkets in Colorado.

17. You probably don’t know what 3.2 is.

18. There are maybe only 6 people from high school that even remember I exist. They only remember me because I still call them or send emails.

19. I speak without the benefit of thinking sometimes.

20. I would rather lie to a friend than tell them something is wrong between us.

21. I’m working on number 20.

22. I give unsolicited advice. All the time. I can be annoying.

23. I love horses and had two Shetland ponies when I was little.

24. I’m a control freak. That should have been number 1.

25. I have two brothers but they have a different father than I.

26. Between my brothers, the hubby's brother, half-sister and step-sister, we have five nieces and two nephews.

27. I didn’t grow up with my brothers so I don’t know them very well.

28. My brothers are eight and nine years older than I am.

29. The hubby, on the other hand, is four years older than his brother and 14 years older than his half-sister.

30. I’ve had two step-fathers. I’ve called my mom’s current husband ‘Dad’ since I was 21 – even though I met him when I was 6.

31. I introduced my mom and dad.

32. There is a neat freak living inside of me but she can’t get out.

33. That said, I’m a messy person who managed to raise a neat freak. Jake is the cleanest, most tidy 17 year old I’ve ever met.

34. Since the hubby and I got married 17 years ago, every house and apartment we’ve lived in has had to have the hot water heater replaced after it spewed water all over our belongings.

35. Major household appliances hate me. Our dishwasher, hot water heater, furnace and refrigerator died and my dryer is in need of new bearings and a belt – I think. We haven't replaced the dishwasher or dryer yet.

36. My neighbor warned me that my oven might die too and I jinxed myself by saying that nothing could go wrong with it… it doesn’t have anything electric on it. I'm waiting for the fall out on that one.

37. Cars hate me. We live in a perpetual state of crappy car karma. I have no idea why.

38. I love to cook but I can’t bake. Besides, baking is too much work and it’s more of a science whereas cooking is an art.

39. I am a coffee addict. I have a regular drip coffee maker, a Senseo and an espresso maker.

40. I love to read. My favorite ‘easy reads’ are the Stephanie Plumb novels by Janet Evanovitch. I also like Dean Koontz, Michael Crichton, J.D. Robb, Patricia Cornwell, and tons of other popular fiction writers. I find lots of books through an online book club and wandering around the library.

41. I also like auto-biographies written by comedians. Don’t Stand Too Close To A Naked Man & I’m Not Really Here, Tim Allen - Everything And A Kite, Ray Romano - No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem, Jeff Foxworthy

42. I wear glasses because I’m totally blind without them. I can’t see anything farther away than three or four inches. Yeikes, right? I have an on-again/off-again relationship with contacts because my astigmatism is in a constant state of flux and the glasses handle it better.

43. I think it is arrogant to assume that there is no other intelligent life in the universe.

44. My pantry has a lot of expired cans of food – and did you know that Velveeta expired???

45. I’ve lived in Colorado nearly all my life; I spent a few years in Oregon as a child.

46. I’ve never learned to ski and I have no desire to.

47. Only once in my life have I gotten so drunk that I got sick. It was St. Patrick’s day 2007 and my neighbor and her boyfriend were too drunk to drive so I picked them up and brought them home. Once there, they invited me to have a drink with them and I proceeded to drink a bottle and a half of wine on my own in about an hours time and got sick when I made it home. Remember, I said neighbor – she lives next door.

48. Yeesh, and I’m normally a lightweight. Two glasses of wine and I’m really close to either rolling on the floor giggling or passed out in bed.

49. I think if my house ever got clean – as in, it was acceptable to my grandmother – I would pass out, or possibly die of shock.

50. I can’t wear fingernail polish because I can feel it on my fingers. Yeah, I know, it’s weird.

51. I like to paint my toenails in the summer though… they don’t bother me.

52. During a previous marriage, my father adopted his wife's two daughters, Christen and Melody. These are my older sisters and I've never met them, nor do I know where they are.

53. I think when we move I’ll consider lighting my old house on fire rather than packing everything. It might be easier to buy all new stuff. Just kidding. Maybe.

54. I hate crowds. I get a little panicky in large groups of people.

55. I love popcorn at the movie theater but not out of the microwave, air popped or on the stove.

56. I don’t like to go to the movie theater because there are too many people. It sucks to be me.

57. Jake has my maiden name, not the hubby's last name.

58. My last name is hyphenated so that – and this is stupid – people know he belongs to me. I know, weird.

59. People think that Jake doesn’t belong to the hubby because of his last name.

60. Ten years ago, I broke my right leg – both bones – below the knee all the way down into my ankle and had to use a handicap placard for five months.

61. My favorite number is 5 and my birthday is 5/25.

62. My favorite color is green.

63. With friends, I’m a social freaking butterfly and I try to collect more friends like other people collect seashells – or whatever it is that people collect. I can be almost stalker-bad when I meet someone I’d like to be friends with. I have an easy conversation, love the person, get their phone number, and call all the time. Yeah, I know, bad.

64. It is possible to be a social butterfly and shy at the same time – trust me. (See number 11)

65. I’m a freaky, overprotective parent. Matt adds, “…hell bent on destroying my kids lives.” Hmmmm.

66. I prefer Pepsi to other soft drinks.

67. In the summer I drink lots and lots of lemonade, strawberry lemonade and from Sonic… Limeades. Yum.

68. I am a Democrat, but that’s not a reason to hate me.

69. I love the fall, all the leaves are beautiful, it smells great, and the weather is nice. Too bad it doesn’t last long here.

70. When I was 14 months old I broke my left femur. I was in a body cast and smelled bad, because, well, they leave a little hole for diapers. You get the idea.

71. While I was in that body cast, the hubby's aunt babysat me a couple of times. She says she remembered that I smelled. Yeesh!

72. The hubby's aunt and I figured out the strange coincidence over Christmas in the mountains when I was 21.

73. In response to the question, "How are you?" I always seem to answer with, "I'm tired and I need a nap."

74. I have insomnia, but when I’m stressed out, I sleep really well. Go figure.

75. I love stupid movies, Tremors, Ghostbusters, The Mummy, The Goonies, Groundhog Day… you get the idea. I sometimes watch them to go to sleep because I know every line of the movies.

76. I have the attention span of a gnat. That would be another reason I don’t like to go to the movies.

77. Celestial Soda Pop from the Deep Breakfast album by Ray Lynch is my favorite piece of music – ever. Again, raised by hippies.

78. I hate math. I almost didn’t get my AA because I would cry when I had to do math. I don’t think I have to take anymore math to get my BS. EEK!

79. Star Wars Episode IV, A New Hope was released on my fifth birthday.

80. Artificial sweeteners make me sick.

81. I hated God for several years after my son died.

82. I love BareMinerals. Yep, I bought it and it was so worth it. Only problem is that I don't wear makeup often.

83. I took SCUBA classes with the hubby but when it came time to do my open-water certification, I freaked out and wouldn’t go. See number 14.

84. I’ve never been out of the country.

85. I didn’t meet my fathers family until I was 31.

86. They had no idea where I was until I turned 18 and my mother gave me their names and last known addresses and phone numbers. One of them still lived in the same place with the same phone number.

87. My family took our first vacations in 2006.

88. In April of that year, we went to Southern Colorado to see the Royal Gorge Bridge, the Cave of the Winds and the Garden of the Gods.

89. In July of that year we went to South Dakota with my in-laws to see Mount Rushmore and Crazy Horse. It was the longest five days of my life. 'Nuff said.

90. I learned to drive a stick shift before an automatic.

91. I’ve only had two dogs in my life, a German Shepherd named Zack that we got when I was four and died when I was 13 and an English Springer Spaniel named Hunter that died in 2007.

92. I’ve also had nine cats, three ponies, two cockatiels, a gerbil, four rats, and tons of fish – not all at the same time.

93. Rather than a green thumb, mine is black. I kill plants of all kinds.

94. I was in two car accidents in six months. The first one wasn’t my fault and almost totaled my car, the second was my fault and cost my insurance company $300.

95. It's odd, but most of the cars the hubby and I have owned have been Nissans. This is purely unintentional and I will make a point to never (ever, never, never) buy one again.

96. I love Starry Night and Café Terrace at Night by Vincent Van Gogh.

97. I like chocolate but I don’t eat it much.

98. Next to cherries, Navel oranges are my favorite fruit.

99. I took first-semester German twice – once in 8th grade and again in 10th grade. I still don't speak German.

100. I am a phone addict. I talk on the phone for hours almost every day.

Ski Resort To Open! - In JUNE?

Aspen Mountain has enough snow to open for skiing this weekend! It is unbelievable. I just thought I'd share that bit of information.

My weekend is over and work is waiting for me in the morning. I've tried to make this weekend productive - at least the very end of it. Lindsay and I cleaned out some cupboards and a closet today. It felt good but I don't have enough room in my trash tote to put everything out tomorrow.

While I made dinner tonight I also made potato salad for tomorrow night. I'd called my mom earlier in the weekend to get some tips for getting the potato texture just right. I always end up making mashed-potato salad and I really wanted to do it right. The trick, according to my great result, is to quarter the potatoes with their skins on and cook them to just done, run them under cold water and then cut them into the desired bite sized pieces. Not bad.

This Week's Meal Plan

Like I said, planning last weeks' meals was a great idea and helped a lot. This week I shopped for most of our meals at Sam's, with future weeks' meals in mind as well.

Meal Plan for June 9 - 15

• Monday - Chicken, Black Bean and Corn Quesadillas with sour cream, salsa, avocado, lettuce, tomato and tortilla chips. From Allrecipes.com
• Tuesday - Spicy Shredded Beef on french hard rolls with potato salad.
• Wednesday - Chili with sour cream, shredded cheese and grilled cheese sandwiches. This is a family favorite however, I was conned into buying Frito's at the grocery store by my daughter. She hates my chili (and also my Green Chili Chicken Enchiladas) but says she'll eat it if I give her Frito's. Bribery at it's best.
• Thursday - Spaghetti Casserole from the Dinner Doctor*, p. 241 with french bread and salad.
• Friday - Schwan's delivery night... a night off cooking. Yea!
• Saturday - Chicken Divan over rice with salad.
• Sunday - Breakfast for Dinner. Eggs, biscuits, gravy and fruit.

We don't normally have leftovers or I would make a Leftover Night. Sometimes when someone asks me "What's for dinner?" I say, "Whatever you can find." We called it Fin-Fer night when I was growing up - Fin For Yourself... :)

By the way, everybody who has a Sam's Club membership (or any club discount store) should buy things like shredded cheese there. Hands down, they have the most amazing prices on that kind of thing. I bought 5 lbs (20 CUPS!) of shredded Monterey Jack/Mild Cheddar blend for $13.00! When you split it up into quart size Ziploc bags, it's like six quarts and costs about half of what Safeway charges!

Oh, and I found a new favorite dessert food. Chocolate Angel Food Cake is, well, heavenly. I saw some on the day-old rack as I passed and thought it was worth the $1.00 to try it. YUM! It makes me wish I could bake.

* I bought this book after borrowing it from the library for nearly six months last year. It's truly amazing and everything is pretty easy to make.

Random

Poor Lindsay. Her vacation was cut short by a JUNE snowstorm in the mountains. They had 8 inches of snow in fewer hours and it wasn't stopping. She came home Thursday afternoon and I was happy to see her - even if it did cut short my time away from her.

The boys were at football camp at CSU for 13 hours a day on Thursday and Friday. They had camp this morning until noon, came home, whined for about an hour and then fell asleep. Gotta love the tired boys. I'm hoping they feel better soon.

I slept really well the last few nights and I almost find that strange - strange but welcome. I also quit taking the Inderol my doctor prescribed because I've had a headache almost every day I've been on it. It's useless. Since I went off the medication have been relatively pain free, and I slept well too. Hmmmm.

Planning our dinners has been a godsend this week. I always knew what we were having and that I had all of the ingredients. I'm hoping the next week goes just as well, considering the boys will be home for dinner all week. Well, Jake might have plans some of those days, but for the most part, I'll be feeding everyone and the boys eat like horses. I'll post my plan tomorrow; today, I'm still working on it. If you like to cook (or don't) and would like a reference for recipes of all kinds (beginner-easy to gourmet), check out this site.

I went over my classes this week and discovered that I need seven more to graduate - I think. I've put in a call to my advisor but I'm pretty sure that I've only got 21 more credits, 7 very specific classes, until I have my BS in Applied Psychology. Since I take my classes either online or at the Fort Collins satellite campus of Regis, and they don't offer all of these classes here, and I don't have a reliable car, I'm hoping that they will let me do those that aren't on the Fort Collins campus via GIS (guided independent study). They cost more but I need to finish my degree. I don't know exactly what I'll do when I'm done - as in, how I'll find the job I want - but I'll figure it out.

Exhaustion

I didn't sleep well last night. I didn't sleep much either. I went to bed around 11:30 and couldn't sleep. I got up at 12:30, surfed the web until 1:30 or 2 and then got back in bed. I still couldn't fall asleep so started an On Demand movie (a free one, of course) and fell asleep, finally, sometime around 3. The hubby's alarm went off at 6:30 but I ignored it, getting out of bed with my alarm at 7. I'm exhausted. I'm sore. I'm not going to sleep tonight either. I can feel it.

I left for work early today so that I could drop Lindsay's soccer forms and the check off. Today was the first day for fall soccer sign up and I thought getting there around 8:30 would ensure her a spot on her home team. There were tons of people there, so many that I doubt she'll make it on her own school team. It's a real let down.

I was good at my job today. Although, I dragged the financial statements out for a couple of hours so that I would be busy all day. QuickBooks did something weird with a payment though. I'll have to play with it tomorrow to fix the problem. QB can be a real pain in the butt sometimes.

After work, I stopped at the grocery store, came home, baked muffins (OMG - I'm traumatized!*), boiled eggs for the boys to eat in the morning, made my pathetic Mac N Cheese dinner, and now I'm trying to figure out how to make myself sleepy. I've been productive, but I'm wiped.

* I'm allergic to baking - nothing I've ever baked, from scratch, has ever been edible. Truth is, even the cookie dough you buy in the store and bake, doesn't make good cookies when I do it. The muffins I made tonight were the kind you mix their powder with milk and bake. They are already lacking so I can't be blamed for their quality. They aren't too bad.

Frustration

AARRGGGGHHH! I'm frustrated. I feel like I'm not getting anywhere with starting up the business and I need to buckle down and get something accomplished. I don't have any excuses now. The kids are out of school - Woo Hoo! Lindsay even got stickers for every school day on her calendar so when she gets back from the mountains, she'll get the monkey stickers I promised her. I don't have to stress out about Matt's grades - he passed English, people! I don't understand what the problem is, he speaks English, doesn't he? Why, yes he does. I think he got a better grade in Spanish. Pathetic. Yes, Matt. I said PATHETIC! Okay, I'm over it now.

So, I just have my three-and-a-half day a week job to do and the rest of the 'work week' time could be dedicated to filing the trade name, ordering business cards, coming up with a marketing idea, finalizing pricing, working on the business plan, etc. Okay, that's a lot, but that's my point. I need to do it before I have the excuse of being in school, and the kids are in school, and the hubby is in school - oops, the hubby will be in school again in 2 weeks). Yeah, we will all be back in school in 12 short weeks. Time to get down and dirty.

Besides, I'll need the extra money if I plan to actually attend school in the fall. I think I'll be able to file a Professional Judgement with the school to get my financial aid increased, but who knows.
Sorry, I'm just frustrated right now. I shouldn't be. My mindset has shifted to summer mode and I should be excited about coming home after work and hitting the pool with Lindsay and Matt, warm summer nights, no homework, all of that stuff.

Well, a depressing, boring, lacking post. Hopefully I'll be happier when I get some simple things done tomorrow, like going to work and rocking when I do the invoices and financial statements. (BORING) But I'm so good at what I do.

Ppfftt! Sorry.

Back to the Meal Plan

I'm feeling better today. I've started to notice my triggers. Sitting at the computer for a long time (because of this darn chair - I'm looking for a new one), talking on the phone because I lean my head and hold it with my shoulder, and sitting funny on the couch with my neck twisted, are all triggers for neck pain and the subsequent headaches - which I swear now are NOT migraines. I could feel the muscles in my neck ripple last night as I dozed on the couch face down. I think those muscles just get a lot of improper use and I have to figure out how to reduce the abuse I subject them to.

During the previously mentioned blog browsing, I discovered lots and lots of people who post weekly menus. They do this for several reasons. First, meal planning helps your evenings go more smoothly and can keep your food bills down, there's an answer every night - or at least a list of possibilities - to the question, "What's for dinner?" and they can get ideas and inspiration from others who post meal plans. I, personally, love to read what other people come up with for dinner. I sometimes ask my neighbor what she's had for dinner over the past week because she cooks more simply than I. That's a good thing, trust me. I'll agonize over all my ingredients and she'll come home and make turkey sandwiches and a bowl of soup! What a great idea! I never would have thought of it, seriously. I have to make everything complicated.

Well, I decided to get back into the swing of writing up seven dinner possibilities and stick to it for two or three weeks. I can see if the grocery bill can be brought down, maybe make dinner before 8pm, and give myself a little space in the evenings. So here goes nothing:

Meal Plan for June 2 - 8, 2008

• Monday - Mushroom Stuffed Chicken Rollups with rice and peas
• Tuesday - Mac & Cheese (the Blue Box) with Hot Dogs and salad
• Wednesday - Baked pasta with garlic bread, and salad or corn (boys are in football camp at CSU)
• Thursday - Meatloaf and mashed potatoes with corn (boys in camp)
• Friday - Breakfast for dinner. Eggs, bacon, grits, biscuits and gravy (boys in camp)
• Saturday - Soup, sandwiches and salad. (camp is over this evening) A IS HOME TODAY!
• Sunday - Spaghetti Carbonara with salad

The only ingredients I still need to buy for this weeks plan are salad fixings, hot dogs, chicken noodle soup and potatoes. That will cost me about $27 if I splurge. OMG, check me out! I just checked out the ads online for King Soopers and Safeway to find the best prices. I amaze me sometimes. I can't wait to start buying fresh produce at the farmers market. They don't have much right now because our growing season just started. When the zucchini shows up, I'll be in heaven. I have a recipe for a zucchini casserole thing that has pepper jack cheese in it that is to die for.

Because the boys will need morning fuel I'll have to have hard boiled eggs, bran muffins and cheese sticks ready for them to take off with in the mornings before the football camp they are attending this week. They will eat lunch provided by the camp so I don't have to worry about packing their lunches.

Did I forget to mention? Lindsay has gone up to the mountains with the in-laws for the first week of June. Lindsay spends a week every summer with her cousin, great grandparents (the hubby's Grandmother and Grandfather), and her great aunt (the hubby's aunt). She's going to do a 'spa day' this week because, you know, they are growing up and like to paint their nails and have a foot soak and use lotion... I even got a call a little while ago asking my permission to wear acrylic nails for the week. I caved and said yes. Hope she has fun playing in the woods, wading in the creek looking for bugs, and helping with dinner in fake nails!

Maturity. Not mine though!

I was doing a little blog browsing when I came across a blog that had this entry. I nearly died. Go on, take a peek - I'll wait.

My daughter is having the very same experience. As a matter of fact, I just bought her two sports bra's. Now, these are really small and meant for little girls, but they do 'hide' (?) what's going on under her thin summer shirts. I even bought her a few pairs of little 'boy cut' underpants that match.

She's growing up. There's nothing we can do to stop it. God, help us all!

Feeling Horrible

I've had a migraine since yesterday and I'm barely hanging on at this point. Hopefully I'll be feeling well soon and not fuzzy from drugs or laid out in bed.

I must say, the preventive drugs are doing nothing to help and the migraine medication is a joke. Vicodin is hardly worth using at this point.

The good news - I don't have Jury Duty on Monday! YEA

The Bolder BOULDER

Did I say? Jake ran the Bolder BOULDER with The Girlfriend. It's a 5K race (6.2 miles?) in Boulder, Colorado that did not kill him. I'm pretty happy about that part.

Since he's a football player, and they are known for bursts of speed not stamina, surviving is a good thing. He did well, but I don't remember what his time was. I'm sure he will tell me again.

Good Prom Picture

This is one of the ones I took. The Girlfriend's parents took pictures too.

See? Much better!

There's another one here.

The Horrible Prom Pictures

I had to show you how absolutely tacky the prom pictures were. I don't know if they did these on a green screen or what but the background belongs behind a cheap fish tank.

And he paid for these!

I think I like the pictures I took of them better.

Late May Blues

Today is the end of my weekend and I'm getting sick. Normally this would be okay, I'd try to survive work while sneaking my illness under the radar of the boss-man - he doesn't like sick people one tiny bit. Anyway, I've enjoyed my weekend and now I have to go to work feeling very under the weather. My head feels like it's stuffed with cotton, my sinuses are pressurized (or something like that) my throat is swollen and a little sore, my back hurts, and I'm whiny. Hopefully, a good nights' sleep and lots of coffee in the morning will solve my problem.

This is the kids' last week of school and Friday is a half day. They are already 'checking out' because they're just not interested anymore. Matt still has to turn in a major Biology project and take a test in that class on Thursday. Lindsay is basically just riding the 'end of third grade' train. She's obviously going to pass, but next year she'll actually have to work. I'm not sure how that is going to go. She thinks that life should just be handed to her since, well, she's the baby, the only girl, the princess, Daddy's little girl.... you know the type. I'm not sure what's up with Jake. I know he's passing - we can see the older two kids grades online - but I don't know if he has anything stressful going on these last few days.

Rob doesn't start his summer classes until June 16. He's taking Calculus again. This time it is weekdays from 7 - 9AM. It might just kill him, having to get up and function that early. I'm not sure that early morning is the right time for that level of math. We'll have to pay $400 for his summer classes, his financial aid has run out for the year. On the other hand, my student loans are almost certainly maxed out for my Bachelor's degree as of the end of this coming school year. I will have hit the $43,000 mark. I have no idea how I'll finish school after the loans run out. I need to call my advisor and have them look at my transcript, they can let me know exactly what I need to take in order to graduate. I refuse to get depressed over school this summer.

After a short break - we had to let our brains relax a bit - Crystal and I are going to have to really ramp up our plans to launch our business by the end of summer. We've finally come up with a name and a website. We just have to purchase the website, register the business name, get the licenses issued, order business cards, launch a marketing campaign (her forte', not mine) and start pulling in a few customers. We may even launch a little earlier than planned. The good news is that we already have all of the software, computers and equipment we need. We'll only have to spend money on the licenses and marketing at first. Wish us luck.

Happy Birthday To ME

I turned 36 today. It was a good day.

Jake took me out to breakfast, just the two of us. I haven't spent a lot of time alone with him in a long time so it was very nice.

Matt figured out how to put new ring-tones on my phone without my having to pay $2.99 each for them. He even used one of my favorite songs to make three different ring-tones.

Lindsay played "Happy Birthday" for me on her keyboard and got me one of those laser-cut glass cubes that lights up when you put it on a base.

My mom bought me a new purse (YEA) and a bunch of little things to go in it.

My neighbor got me a cherry-themed gift package with cherries, lip-gloss, a candle, tic-tacs, and cherry vodka, etc. Awesome gift - I love cherries.

It was a very good day. Thank you Lindsay. Thank you Jake. Thank you Matt. Thanks Mom. And thank you to everyone else who remembered to call, email, or send a card. I appreciate it all.

The Tornado

Yesterday a tornado blew through Northern Colorado and did serious damage to Windsor, a small bedroom community about seven miles from where I live, as well as to some other smaller communities in the area. The result, while not as severe as seen in some of the southern states, was devastating to residents. Tornado's don't normally come this close to us; I haven't seen one of this magnitude so close to home in more than 25 years.

We have some friends that live in Windsor. Thank heavens they are fine. One of them experienced some damage to their home and at least one of their cars was severely damaged. Neither of the families we know there have power and it could be out for another five or six days. Again, they are fine. My brother-in-law was not so lucky. He was working outdoors in Windsor yesterday when the tornado came and was hit in the head by some debris. We still don't have all of the details yet but he is still in the hospital. We are keeping him, along with my sister-in-law (the hubby's little sister) and their children, in our thoughts.

When the larger tornado was sighted, along with several smaller ones even closer to our home, all of the schools went into lock-down and the students moved to the interior of the building. I kept in touch with my boys via text message for a little while until they were told to turn their phones off but I could not contact my daughter. All of my children go to different schools, and while I know that they were safer there than anywhere else they would have normally been, I was still terrified. At one time, a tornado was sighted not a mile from Jake's high school.

When it was all over, we knew our friends were safe and I knew my children were safe, I drank a glass of wine and fell asleep on the couch at 8 o'clock. I was drained. I had watched several hours of news, saw the pictures, listened to resident's recount the event, and it was just too much, knowing that it was so very close to us.

I am keeping all those affected in my thoughts, please do the same.

Spring '08 Soccer Season Ends

To be totally honest, I have no idea how many games Lindsay's team won or lost during the eight week soccer season. All I know, is that during this last game the weather was beautiful! So beautiful, in fact, that I got sunburned. How nice is that? I wore shorts and a t-shirt to the game and during half-time I laid down on the grass and closed my eyes. I could feel the heat but it was nice and I dismissed those pesky thoughts of heat = burn. My forearms, thighs above the knees, and face are all rosy red and sore. When will I ever learn?

This morning my family had breakfast at Cracker Barrel with my parents. We hadn't done anything with them as a group in a long time and I didn't even get my mom a Mother's Day card. I'm horrible, I know. So, we all met at 8am - translation: Crack of Friggin' Dawn - to have yummy breakfast and shop for way-too-cute stuff in their store. Lindsay has recently discovered grits - not something you find in every restaurant here, by the way - and she loves them. She likes them with butter and gravy. So do I. Coincidence? I think not. So, she had grits with her breakfast and this afternoon when we went to the grocery store, I bought grits and I'm going to make them, with gravy, for breakfast tomorrow. When we got home, I looked up the recipe for the hashbrown casserole that the Cracker Barrel makes. We all like it and I've never quite been able to make it right. I figure actually following a recipe might just be the trick.

The hubby is in high stress mode after finishing finals week at CSU. He will have to take Calculus again over the summer so the stress level should shoot up from FREAK OUT to EMERGENCY level during, what should be, his easy semester. The summer class is held at the what-the-hell-were-they-thinking hour of 7AM, Monday through Friday for two hours a day. If that doesn't kill the summer semester students, I don't know what will. The good news is that he doesn't have to buy another book...? Yeah, we'll go with that.

We only have nine days of school - 12 1/2 if you are counting the number of days until freedom - so I'm racking my brain trying to figure out how to manage the summer for Lindsay. I think yoga will materialize, though not for several weeks. Swimming lessons with The GirlFriend might be once a week - if that - starting near the end of June. Our community pool will open in a week but it will, no doubt, be freezing cold because they refuse to turn on the heater. It will be early July before jumping in the water doesn't pose the risk of heart-stoppage. Summer is so much fun here.... I'm hoping to schedule a few play dates for Lindsay with her soccer friends. Matt is capable of watching them at the park next door to their school for an hour or so once a week. (Yes Matt, I'm making plans for you!)

Hope your Saturday turned out as glorious as mine did - sunburn and all! I know I will enjoy sleeping in tomorrow and the best thing? I get to sleep in next Saturday! NO SOCCER! (Oh, and next Sunday too - it's my birthday.)

Not Quite Back In My Groove

My Mother's Day went well, I hope yours did too.

I made my own breakfast, but that's okay. My kids still think I always want scrambled eggs and they always get shells in them. A gave me a card she made in school with a three-dimensional teacup on it and a real teabag in it. It was some sort of spice tea and she's finding out from her teacher what sort of tea it was. Jake gave me a $25 Starbucks card. I haven't been there in a while so it will be nice to go again. Matt did homework all weekend and I consider that a fine gift.

I was a lazy bum today too. I did two loads of laundry. Since our dryer is on the fritz I've been hanging clothes outside and I feel like that was enough of an accomplishment. Oh, I made dinner too. I've been avoiding actually cooking dinner from scratch for a while, I don't know why. I made Spaghetti Carbonara because it's easy and the kids love it. Other than that, I've been working on an upcoming blog post that took me three days to put together.

I've felt good today, no headache, just a little stiffness in my neck. I think the only side effect I'm suffering from the Inderol is some mild dizziness, well, maybe some decreased energy too. I'll have to be careful when I drive.

Lindsay has stickers on all of her days so far. There have only been two school days since I started it but she is really excited about being ready on time. She's losing one of her teeth right now and she's afraid she will lose it in her sleep, and either swallow it or it will end up in her bed. She hasn't lost a tooth in a while so this seems new to her.

An Icky Day

Today was not a great day.

We woke up at 7 and got Lindsay ready for her soccer game, minus the shin guards, socks and cleats. She wore flip flops and I wore sandals because it was supposed to be almost 60-degrees and I didn't think we'd freeze. We left the boys asleep and went to breakfast. This has become a ritual; we eat out either before or after the game because during football season, we eat out after every game and she deserves the same special treatment as her brothers. The hubby, Lindsay and I really enjoy this time together since there are normally one or both boys around to tease and taunt her. I took my new beta blocker with breakfast and prepared for the nasty side effects but it took hours for them to kick in.

When we got to the soccer fields, the wind was flowing off the mountains and it was ice cold. If the wind had stopped, the game would have been enjoyable. But no. My ears were sore when we finally were able to get in the car and my feet were ice.

My niece's first birthday was this afternoon and I did not make it. I was so tired, still in pain, and cold that I refused to move off the couch. I had some mild chest pain/discomfort earlier in the day and my toes fell asleep - yep, my toes. I also took another Vicodin this afternoon. This medication will be interesting.

Jake didn't go because he had just gotten back from a six mile run with The GF. They are training for the Bolder BOULDER, a 10K run that is held on Memorial Day, in Boulder (like you couldn't have figured that out yourself), every year. Jake is nuts. He's a football player and they are known for their strength, not their stamina. When they got back he took a shower and then they went out to lunch. I'm sure it's much more fun to have lunch with your girlfriend than it is to watch your one year old cousin smear cake all over her face.

Now, at the end of my day, I had enough energy to call up my mom and get ready for bed. I've read all about the potential side effects of the medications I got and am really disturbed with the unexplained weight gain that is possible. I've lost weight over the past 10 months and I would like to continue since my first real goal is now only 33 pounds away. It will be interesting to see what happens to my weight over the next month.

Sorry to complain so much.

I Could Open A Pharmacy and More Whining Than Anyone Should Be Allowed

I had a doctors appointment this afternoon for refills on my pain medication - I have headaches a lot - and it was interesting. My doctor is retiring, the man my whole family has been seeing for 17 years is ditching us for a more peaceful life. It's a bummer. In preparation for his coming freedom, he merged with a larger practice that includes four doctors and four PA's. This whole change has me a little freaked out. Thank heavens he took his two nurses with him to the new practice, and they aren't retiring.

Anyway, one of the nurses I'm familiar with called me back, took my weight (I lost another four pounds since my last OB/GYN appointment) and blood pressure and did the nursey stuff before leaving me to be seen by my doctor. When he came in, he was followed by another doctor, one that he hopes I'll be comfortable enough with to continue to see when he leaves. They ask why I've come in, I explain that I need a refill on my Vicodin prescription and tell them when my nurse midwife and OB/GYN last gave me prescriptions - you know, to make sure I'm not abusing... I gave their names so they could check - and we start discussing the cause of my headaches, what meds I use, how often, etc. For the record, the narcotics just don't work that well but I figured they were my only option because I thought I was having tension headaches.

We talked about muscle relaxants - they don't work, according to my file we tried them for a while about 7 years ago - and then they ask me to describe the headaches. Well, since I'm in the middle of a doozie at the time, I say, "They hurt." Duh. They chuckle, and ask very pointed questions. Picture, if you will, two doctors, one on either side of me, firing question after question... I felt like I was watching a tennis match. After I'd answered all their questions, they tell me I'm describing migraine headaches. I'd never wanted to say that they were migraines because, well, I don't know. Those are severe, debilitating and horrible. They told me that I was describing something severe, debilitating and horrible. I just thought I was being a baby.

So I walked out of the office with three prescriptions. One is a beta blocker to lower my heart rate - EEK - that apparently can cut the number of migraines in half and the remainder of them won't be as severe. Next came a prescription for something called Maxalt, which I'm sorry to say costs $116 for 6 pills - HELLO? Are you kidding???? They gave me four pills as samples - thank heavens. I also had my Vicodin refill. I didn't fill the Maxalt. I just don't have that kind of money in the budget. The samples will have to do.

My problem is that I've had a headache, migraine, all day long and I've fought it with Aleve, two doses of Vicodin, caffeine pills, coffee... I've thrown everything I have at it and it's only now going away. I didn't want to use one of those $20 pills on the first day I got them. See, I'm just nuts, but I knew if I could get through today, I'd be fine for a while.

By the way, beta blockers, scary. They lower your heart rate and blood pressure. I guess the point is to open up constricted blood vessels in your head and avoid the migraine in the first place. The side effects are a bit over the top. Lack of energy, dizziness - as in, use caution when operating a car or heavy machinery - weight gain (I don't need that), strange heat sensations when first going on the medication, and a diabetic warning regarding masking the effects of low blood sugar. This last one scares me, not because I'm diabetic, I'm hypoglycemic. My blood sugar drops at an alarming rate. During my glucose tolerance test a while back, my level was 49 at three hours. If I'd had the five hour test done, they said I would have passed out. Lucky me. To fight this, the doctors office told me to take the medication, called Inderal, after breakfast, and eat small meals throughout the day because the medication's side effects are similar to low blood sugar. EEK! I have to start eating right? Well, if it will help my headaches, I guess I'll do anything.

I know I ramble and maybe I haven't made sense, but in my defense, I'm feeling the effects of the last dose of Vicodin. Fuzzy can be fun. For the record, I couldn't lay in bed any longer, it just hurt more. I dimmed the screen on my computer so I could function while writing this, being upright and focusing on something else seems to help a little. When I was in bed earlier, I started to cry and that only makes it worse because it builds pressure in my head.

I'm Boring - This One Is About My Hair?

I got my hair cut today and I'm so loving it. I was at work and walked past the glass entry way, catching my reflection, and decided that I looked... how should I put this... frumpy? The only thing I can do about the way I look at this moment is to cut my hair and I'm very happy with the results. Soon, I will be working on the rest.

Once the weather is a bit more stable around here - we have freezing nights, freak thunderstorms, 60 mile an hour winds - I'll start walking at night again. I loved walking in the warm weather last summer. I only lost about one or two pounds a week, but it was consistent and I felt good getting out of the house. I will also walk on Saturday and Sunday mornings and that way I can get some color in my glaring white legs. I'm freakishly pale, it can't be good to be this white.

When I came home and picked up the mail, I was shocked to find a jury summons with my name on it. I'm 35 years old and this is the first time I've gotten one. When I was younger I would have been happy to have the opportunity to serve. Now I'm thinking that if I have to miss work and get paid $50 for the day, I'm getting ripped off since I make way more than that. The other unfortunate thing is that the first day of jury service is on a Monday, and I don't work on Mondays. I guess I'll be busy that day - and not get paid for it. Oh, geeze! It's my kids first day of summer break too... What a bummer.

So much for feeling better about the haircut.

AND I HAVE TO PAY TO PARK THERE. Okay, I'm done. (Not really.)

This Doesn't Happen Every Day - Thank Heavens

Today I was enjoying the beautiful weather we're having. I took a lovely afternoon shower and sat outside reading a good book (Strangers by Dean Koontz) under our Ponderosa Pine tree. I had just the right amount of sunlight and was loving it. Somehow I'd totally forgotten that it's time for the sap to flow... You can see where this is going, right? Sap dropped onto my freshly washed hair.

For those of you who don't know how to remove sap this will be educational and icky at the same time. I've discovered that sap can be removed easily by using any kind of cooking oil (corn, olive, canola, vegetable) and then washing with soap and water, but I'd only ever used this procedure on hands, feet and clothes - never my hair. The good news is that it works, the bad news is that it's gross. I rubbed oil in my hair, only where the sap was, and then washed it with lots of shampoo, combing it out as I went. Conditioner is, apparently, critical. I used lots of that too and let it sit for a couple of minutes before rinsing and combing.

Soon it will be warm every day and I won't appreciate it as much. We will start to complain about the heat when it reaches (oh, my!) 85-degrees? For now it is wonderful and I'm going to enjoy it. I'll just have to find a new shady area to sit and read.

Prom '08

Jake went to prom last night with his beautiful girlfriend. I just had to share a picture of the two of them.

Jake thinks he's funny (or he was going to blink) but most of the pictures I took had something wrong with them. The GF's family took a lot of pictures and Jake bought pictures at prom as well - they'd better be good for the $35 he paid.

Hope everyone has had a wonderful weekend and that your week goes smoothly as Mothers Day approaches.

Picky?

I've gotten picky about the blogs I read these days. For a while I was reading some of the most popular bloggers but now I'm in search of those blogs that don't seem to have a big readership - or at least not a ton of commenter's. Don't get me wrong, I think those popular blogs are popular for a reason - those women are funny and write brilliantly - I'm just looking for something a little less... click-ish?

One of the blogs I began reading only two months ago is shutting down - a loss to the blogging world if there ever was one, but I can understand her reasoning. Her closing up shop has forced me to find a replacement and this is where I began to notice the 'club' mentality of the world of respected bloggers. Maybe that's because I'm not a part of their group? Because I can't see myself blogging for a living? I'm not as talented?

The Promised Pictures

I realized that I never posted the promised pictures of Jake wrapped up in saran wrap. He was wrapped all the way down to his knees and by the time he got home, he was overheating. He let me snap some pictures before insisting that he be released.
When we cut him out - because honestly, we couldn't find the end - he was soaked in sweat and needing a cold drink. He was bouncing around (because he couldn't walk) begging to be let out because he had to go to the bathroom.

High school boys are weird. His brother thought his plight was hysterical!

More Random, Because It's Fun

I've been trying to get some reading done, and I'll be damned if anyone will leave me alone for more than 30 seconds at a time! I read about half a page and someone asks a question, the phone rings, and dinner burns. I realize it's too late to continue the charade of reading so I put the book away for the next day. I got to read some at lunch today - outside under the mock apple tree at work - until I remembered that it buzzes with a thousand bees and wasps this time of year. I don't do stinging creatures. I'm terrified of them. So I went inside and was promptly noticed by my boss who thought it was time for me to work again - my lunch 'hour' was apparently cut down to a lunch '45-minutes' today. No biggie, I leave him high and dry almost every Friday afternoon. Even trade.

Speaking of being terrified of something, is anyone else afraid of spiders? I realized a week or so ago that I would rather not be knowingly within 10 feet of a spider. I left work last week and walked out to my car in the parking lot. I opened up my back door to put my bag (had to show you because it's cute and handy) on the back seat, when a HUGE, HAIRY SPIDER crawled across the seat. EEK! Now, I don't really like to kill something just because it's scary. I'll kill a mosquito because they'll bite (and three of my family has had West Nile Virus), a fly because they're dirty and nasty, but spiders serve a purpose and they aren't out to hurt me. I tried to whisk him out of the car but he kept hanging on or jumping back in! I killed him because I just couldn't stand the thought of driving along with him in the back seat. So, I'm terrified of spiders and I'm a spider killer. So sad.

Jake got a job a few weeks back. He's working for the best ice cream place I've ever been - Cold Stone. They have a Coffee Lovers Only creation that is to die for and he brought me a half gallon of it! Now that's love, people. I eat two scoops every third or fourth night and have banned anyone else from touching it. If you've got a Cold Stone in your area, go - run - and get some. Now! Go!

Poor Me

As the hubby's phone rang off the damn hook today (okay, so he got four calls) all I could think was, "Nobody called me so nobody loves me." sigh.... Okay, I'll get a grip.

Seriously though, I have two friends who actually call me. One is Crystal, we talk all week long but we have to take a break from each other (or some BS like that) on the weekends. She's got extraordinarily busy weekends so we just reserve weekdays for chatting and generally not working - well, she works, I act busy. I've got another friend, Amaya, who's been stuck at home for over a year because of a pretty awful knee injury. She calls me nearly every day, and when she doesn't call, I do. I called her twice today... I feel sorry for her - having to listen to me go on and on and on... I babble when I'm bored and I must be mind numbing!

I have several other friends but none of them are phone addicts like myself. There's one in Texas that works as a corrections officer and has odd hours, one in Washington who's a (fairly) new mom - her kids are 27 months and 9 months so she's really busy, my cousin in Greeley who's a single mother, works ungodly hours and has three kids ages 16, 12 and 9 (God help her) and my neighbor is one of the nearest and dearest to my heart (maybe because she's next door and her life is... interesting?). She works for the college, single mom, three kids, and ex-husband from HELL and she manages to do everything with grace and love. Or that's the way I see it. She devotes her spare time to her kids and hides from the world when life gets too tough to handle - I don't blame her but it makes me sad that she won't let me be her shoulder when she desperately needs one. I've been learning though, to each his or her own. I don't have to be everything for everyone - even if I want to be.

So I'm going to whine about how my friends don't call, how I'm totally unloved, and had to drink my Cosmo alone while reading a new blog tonight. Tomorrow I'll suck it up, chat on the phone (or email) Crystal all day, and generally get a grip on myself. Oh, yeah - I should also probably write one of the two final papers that is due on Tuesday night if I want to pass that class. I'm going to have to beat the sense out of the procrastinator that lives in me because it knows that my boss won't be at work on Tuesday and it can write the papers then...

First Soccer WIN!

Lindsay's team won their first soccer game! They played really well, finally finding that competitive streak!

For the record, I'm loving exclamation points these days! Sorry!

It was windy and cold this morning - the temperature was somewhere around 40-degrees with 18-20 mile an hour winds. We were cold. My ears hurt. I can't believe Lindsay survived.

I've got some pretty funny pictures of Jake from last week that I'll post later today. He let his friends wrap him in plastic wrap and he was helpless. The Girlfriend and one of her friends drove Jake home and helped him out of the car. He's such a goof.

Rain, Hail, Money Pits and STRESS

This is hail. It rained and hailed really hard for about an hour this afternoon. So, the season starts... it will rain, sleet, hail and we'll have generally miserable weather until about June. The pools won't be warm until sometime in early July and then we'll have 90-degree days that are miserable. I know, I'm a wimp. But how's this for suckey - I have neither heat nor a/c in my car. I'm miserable in the winter and in the summer.

Speaking of my car, also referred to as the money-pit-from-hell, it needs about $500 in repair work done. Well, I'm done. I'm not fixing it any more. Almost two years ago I put a used engine in it to the tune of $1,800. Six months later we dropped another grand into it. I've put two new sets of tires on it in the last year because of a problem that we thought was the bearings. Now we're finding out that it's not the bearings at all, it's a much more expensive problem!

The good news is that I think I've found a '75 Beetle that I might be able to afford. OMG - I've wanted one of these for almost 20 years! I'm hoping to be able to come up with the money but if all else fails, I've now got a car dealership stalking me, trying to get me to buy a car. I even told them that my credit sucks but they have a 'creative financing' department - right... that means they will charge me 30% interest. I don't think so.... Or maybe I do. I'm hoping the beetle thing works out because the last thing I want is to pay $15,000 for a $7,000 car!

I told my boss about the beetle this afternoon as I was leaving work and told him how much I love them. He said that he'd had one that he sold! I never knew that. I wish I had. Or maybe not since he is my boss and if something had gone wrong it would be really uncomfortable.

I wrote two of the six papers I have due Tuesday in my Intimate Relationships class. I feel really good about it since that's two papers in two days. One of my papers is actually going to be a collage - yeah, scissors, construction paper, glue, and a Cosmo magazine. I kid you not, this teacher actually likes it when you do something artsy. Go figure. I may even go crazy and do two collages! We'll see.

I'm starting to have some physical symptoms of stress. Whenever something mildly stressful happens, I get a lump in my throat - as if I were about to cry, except I don't feel like crying. My head feels like it's stuffed with cotton most of the time and my stomach is a mess. I have 6 days until I'm done with the relationship class and 18 days until I'm done with this semesters online classes. I'm hoping all these symptoms go away. Until then, I'm living in denial. Next semester I'm taking Behavioral & Stress Management (how's that for ironic) and Family Violence. They are the 5-week-1 and 5-week-3 sessions so I'll have 5 weeks off in between them - thank heavens!

Think positive thoughts for me - I'm trying to work some Power of Attraction for myself. If only I could get past the general drain on my brain.

Oh, so busy.... no excuse

Ooooo, bad me! Sorry to leave you hanging for so long. It's just not right! I should be whipped, beaten, flogged... or something like that.

I've been in total denial about my needing to actually do any school work at all. I've done the minimum. As in, I turned in the papers that were due but have not posted a thing in over a week, which is like not showing up to class at all. This is not the normal me, mind you. I'm an overachiever. I get upset when the grade that lands on my transcript is an A-! Look at me now, on my knees, begging for a C. I'm pathetic.

I'm up to my eyebrows in planning right now. (Unfortunately, it's not planning papers that are due in class. Bummer.) No, this planning is different and fun. First, I'm getting some ideas for Jake's graduation party, a party that's 14 months away. I know I've said that I'm a procrastinator; procrastination is the tool for dealing with 'not fun' stuff, graduation parties are fun. Anyway, I've found a 'suites' hotel that has a good sized, beautiful meeting room and a caterer that I like, all within our budget.

The second thing I'm planning is a potential business opportunity with Crystal. She's been on my butt for the past month or so to start my own bookkeeping business and then she suggested that we go into business together. This is much more appealing than doing it all on my own. Anyway, I've been researching General Partnerships, LLC's, etc and finding some pretty interesting stuff. I think that, if we actually do anything with the idea, it will emerge around the time the students are back in the fall.

On a sad note, it snowed here again today. I'm not sure how much more of this we'll be able to handle. I don't know how many more people will be able to say, "We need the moisture," before I go crazy and pop someones head off their shoulder like a zit! DAFFODILS! CROCUSES! TULIPS! COLOR!